Justme_nobody

I'm always asking myself...why do I drink? I've heard people say that it has something to do with masking our pain.<?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>

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I've contemplated upon this, and I've asked myself, "what pain am I masking?"

I've always patted myself on the back because I believed that I had this "great" ability to just let things go, and I never dwelled on the past. I believed that I had no pain to mask. So, I tell myself that I just enjoy drinking...that always works...until I'm going through the DT's and experiencing a living hell. <o:p></o:p>
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So today, I'm asking myself the question again..."What am I masking with alcohol?"<o:p></o:p>

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And BAM! The answer was right in front of my face...<o:p></o:p>

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I'd rather not elaborate on this realization right now.<o:p></o:p>

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I just know that I have to make some major changes in every aspect of my life...one step at a time.<o:p></o:p>

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Feeling a bit overwhelmed...

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

It sounds like you had a revelation. I didn't realize how much work I was putting into hiding from my feelings either, until I stopped drinking. I had to look at myself and realize that there were things about me that I was just not accepting and it was causing me a lot of problems. I had to begin to accept myself the way I am and it was overwhelming. I had to let go of so many of my beliefs. But, the good thing is that now the person I am on the outside is the same as the person on the inside. And, that's a great feeling.

Keep visiting.

Anna