hopefulinSanon

Good Evening :shysmile: I didn’t see a thread for this topic, specifically, so I thought I’d start one. I am a member of S-Anon, for family and friends of sexaholics. I never heard of sexaholism before I met my partner. However, with what I’ve learned in S-Anon (I’ve been in the program for 4-1/2 months), I can safely say that all my relationships have been with a sexaholic (I am 47, and was divorced at 21). The “acting-out” of the sexaholic varied, but the disease was the same. In the beginning of this relationship, I see now that I was his fix, and things seemed rosy. Then, when his “acting-out” started again, his “acting-out” was painful. Now, it’s the withdrawal and moods that are painful, that come with my partner working his 12-step SA program. And with all this, comes my working my program in S-Anon. It took me a long time to understand the disease. I’m learning a lot about myself, as well as how to detach with love and have serenity in my life. I don’t know what the future holds, but I’m learning more every day, and I’m sure I will be for a very long time. I’m learning to separate the man from the disease. For me, this is sometimes very difficult. Sometimes I see more of his addict than I do him. I miss him. His addict isn’t as lovable. Sometimes I feel I’m grieving a loss (of what I thought we had), and sometimes I just feel angry. And - - sometimes I feel blessed and at peace within myself. I have a lot left to learn, and I don’t know what I’d do without S-Anon. I want to be compassionate and supportive, but not enable. I also want and need to take care of myself, and want intimacy in my life. I’ve found that sharing with others has allowed me to feel that I’m not alone in this. I’m hoping this is another avenue where we can share with each other, and offer support. I have not felt that I could talk about this to the friends that I’ve had for years. I tended to isolate from them when things start to go wrong in my relationships. I don’t want to isolate anymore, it’s not healthy for me. Hoping you’ll join me here,

Blessings,

hopefulinSanon