Lost it again, but not destroyed...

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03-04-2005, 03:44 AM

# 1 (permalink)

ChrisMan

Member

Thread Starter

Join Date: Aug 2004

Location: Boston, MA

Posts: 398

Lost it again, but not destroyed...

It's never easy posting something like this, but I need to do so.

I lost my sobriety again last night. I've been in sort of a rut lately, spinning my wheels. I took too many chances last night -- I knew I was going down a slippery slope and had opportunities to make good decisions, but didn't.

I feel peaceful and confident now. Just one day at a time. I really don't want to give into despair -- what good would that do me? There are people on this forum with one or two years of sobriety or more, so I know I am not aiming for a pipe dream. I am working towards something that is real and that is attainable. It can be done. I just have to believe.

I feel so much support on this forum. I know I am not alone. I am sad today, but not devastated.

ChrisMan

03-04-2005, 04:52 AM

# 2 (permalink)

Roxann

Learning to love me.

Join Date: Jan 2005

Location: on my way

Posts: 617

Oh ChrisMan, You are right to feel sad but not devastated. You can take that first step again. Got to a meeting today, read your literature and keep posting. Learn why you made the choices you made this time, so that you can avoid making them again.

You are very strong, and you can do this.

and prayers to you today my friend.

03-04-2005, 05:12 AM

# 3 (permalink)

cj.

Mending

Join Date: Sep 2004

Location: Atlantic Canada

Posts: 299

Chris

You are right not to beat yourself up! It serves no purpose but to keep you feeling like a failure. I'm sure you feel bad enough about the decisions you made already. Hopefully, the next time you are faced with temptation, you will be better able to think it through and make a healthy choice for yourself.

Peace
cj

03-04-2005, 05:37 AM

# 4 (permalink)

Time2Surrender

Member

Join Date: Oct 2004

Location: The Field of Dreams

Posts: 7,249

Chris,you are not alone we are all here for you.Today is a new day.Hang in there.Have you been going to meetings? Do you have a sponsor?

03-04-2005, 08:59 AM

# 5 (permalink)

wantneeda

Miss Behavin'

Join Date: Jan 2005

Location: regina,saskatchewan

Posts: 966

Hang in there Chrisman, sounds like you know what your mistakes were. I can so relate to being in those shoes where i know what I'm doing isn't right but I just simply do it anyway. Thats what has made me the person I am today. I can look back on those decisions and learn from them. Our disease will forever speak to us, (dang) but will I choose to listen? Today is a brand new day. Hats off to you for looking your disease straight in the eye today and saying No!! Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, thats why its called the present. Keep fighting!!!

03-04-2005, 09:46 AM

# 6 (permalink)

erino134

still moment by moment

Join Date: Feb 2005

Location: on my way back to me

Posts: 83

Good News!! You get another chance!!! Hurray!!

You are still here - trying again. So - THAT is very cool.

I know - you will be okay. Try not to beat yourself up too hard. Maybe you should write yourself a note about how you feel today. So next time you consider picking up again, maybe you can read the note and remember how you feel today.

Relax and enjoy the first day of your new found sobriety!

03-04-2005, 11:03 AM

# 7 (permalink)

Val-light

Member

Join Date: Feb 2005

Location: Houston, Texas

Posts: 628

Hang in there!

03-04-2005, 01:09 PM

# 8 (permalink)

ChrisMan

Member

Thread Starter

Join Date: Aug 2004

Location: Boston, MA

Posts: 398

Thanks everyone for the encouragement and advice.

I am going to meetings and will keep up my recovery readings every day, and also visiting here of course.

Had a great talk with who I call my spiritual guide this morning. He works a lot with addicts and talks the talk.

Onward we go, one day at a time.