tonights a struggle..
 

almost a week in and about an hour ago I started thinking about drinking.
I am trying to make the thoughts go away. Came here to post...maybe read a little and trying to maybe find a meeting.
I am not sure why the thoughts started creeping in but they did...

And I thought I was doing so good.

I even thought about smoking some of my boyfriends pot.....because in my irrational thinking I am saying..."smoke some pot...it isnt alcohol". But I know that isnt right.

you can do it party girl! Stay strong. Stick around here or go to a meeting. NO- don't smoke pot- you'd just be substituting and not recovering.

And one more thing----YOU ARE DOING GOOD- THERE IS NO THINKING ABOUT IT- ITS A FACT- GIVE YOURSELF SOME CREDIT!

Good Luck!

Thanks !
 

yep...I will probably stick around here tonight.
I think that the trigger was my friend coming over today that I hadnt seen in a while. She brought over a x-mas present.....(A HUGE oversized martini glass filled with 12 small bottles of different liquors...everything that I would normally love to drink) She didnt know that I quit because I hadnt talked to her in a week or so. I didnt say anything to her because she kept telling me how cool it was and how much i would lke it.
now it sits here and my boyfriend will polish it all off over the next few days. I almost wanna throw it out.

Anyways...the urge to drink is slowly passing. But a while ago it was kinda bad....my brain couldnt stop thinking about it. Now its getting late and I am getting tired. I also drank a small bit of valerium with some water to mellow me out. Hope that valerium is ok.

another day sober............. another day that I struggle. Does it ease up?



P>S> I saw the NAY NAY sig down at the bottom...is that your nickname?
My daughters name is Rhiannon and everyone calls her nay nay because my nephew couldnt say her name when he was a little guy and it kinda stuck with her.

Early in recovery we tend to look for a substitue. I did the same, thought well, I'm alcoholic, that's the problem, I can handle some pot... but the sponsor detered my thinking got me on track and made me realize it wasn't the answer. Sober is sober, no mind altering chemicals period for me. It's a struggle in early recovery, but have faith and courage in yourself and you will make it.... now all well intentions aside, toss the gift.

XPartygirl, Being alcoholics, thoughts of drinking are normal. You are doing well. Iused to think the same thing. If I thopught about drinking I've somehow failed. You and all of us need to give ourselves credit. We must look at the whole picture. What did you do about those thoughts? You did just what the program calls for. You told someone, you kept yourself in a safe place and most of all you didn't drink. I still have drinking dreams at 19 months and have people with long term sobriety say they still do. In early recovery we need to control our actions. The fact is we are human, we're not always going to think and do the right thing. All we can do is try to be better. We would never paint others with the same perfect brush we paint ourselves. The key for me has been to be in places I can't act on these thoughts. If, I'm in a bar and have these desires, I'm in trouble. If, we are home, at a meeting in an ice cream or coffee shop by the time I've left the desire has gone. Keep up the good work. I'm pulling for you and proud of your actions to keep from drinking. Don W