Dunitall

Hi Everyone.

I've been away for 4 days and have had no internet access over the holidays.

Firstly, I have prayed so much for all those affected by the Tsunami in S. E. Asia. We still don't know the true extent, but my heart goes out to everybody there and everybody who knows anybody there.

This has been my first sober Christmas and I spent it with my family 400 miles away. My g/f from whom I have been apart for only 2 weeks is spending the holidays with her family.

So many small miracles have happened in the past four days.

My call register tells me that I have spent around 10 hours on my mobile. Much of this has been with friends in AA. In particular with my Sponsor who has literally held my hand and taken me through steps 3 and 4.

I got to an AA meeting on Christmas Eve.

I had a great session with my Counsellor before I left last week and he has given me really wonderful tools to work with. He has explained that my low self esteem has in the past run my life to a large extent. My alcoholism is a symptom of that. I have now been able to work very hard on "why" I felt that way not simply working out "what" to do about changing. Even in this short space of time, with HP's help, I believe I have changed considerably for the better.

My family have all enjoyed a great "White Christmas"...and guess who did all the driving!!

My 13 yr old son told me that I looked and sounded much much better.

On Thursday, I spoke on the phone to my ex g/f for almost an hour. We had a really positive conversation without quacking, but I was able to explain sensibly what I was feeling and what I was really now doing about it. I'm looking forward to seeing her tomorrow.

It's great to be back here at SR. I've gotta go now as I'm meeting my other friends at AA in an hour. I'll be back later.


Rich

Ann

Welcome back Rich. I'm glad you had such a good Christmas.

Hugs
Ann

Don W

Hi Rich and Anne, This is my 2nd sober Christmas. I was still in a fog last year, so really also my first. I can identify with your family enjoying you sober for their Christmas. When I think of how many Christmas in the past we ruined, the joy we feel today, is only a start to our wonderful life. don W

Ann

Merry Christmas, Don.

May we share many more of them together right here.

Christmas Hugs
Ann

ChrisMan

Rich and Don,

So good to here about your great Christmas. It's important for all of us to hear about the good things that happen, and to remember them. Thanks for sharing!

ChrisMan

Dunitall

Chrisman, Ann, Don

Thanks so much for replying. It means so much to me having friends around here.

Today has been OK. Haven't had the chance to see my ex fiancee yet, but hopefully will do tomorrow. I've been working and she's been busy doing stuff for herself...which is OK. Heck though, I'm still sober and at least that feels good.

Rich

Don W

Hi Rich, It is nice to be able to share and identify with each other. The more we share the more we learn that ours' is a common problem. We are not the ugly person that alcohol turned us into. I agree with you, it is just as important to share the good stuff as is the bad stuff. I'm still amazed when I hear or read the acclomplishments people in recovery reach. Someone told me long ago, and still believe it. One of the driving forces for companies to try and help empoyees with addiction was the people with the problem. If you look many times it is the best salesman, the best supervisor, the best worker. How many times have we heard, " You know, your my best worker but, ------? There is so much talent and compassion, that is wasted due to addictions. We are all evidence. I also find it helpful to read your posts. Don W

Dunitall

Don

You are so right.

I used to compare myself to others and think, "I wish". Now I look in the mirror and tell myself that I'm a bloomin' good, handsome and trustworthy person. I may have caused problems in life but now I'm making amends.

I would love for my ex fiancee to look in the same mirror as me and recognise who I am just as I do.

Today I'm sober, therefore tomorrow I have hope.

Hugs.

Rich

Don W

Rich, I hope also that it works out. However, like you and I both know, the important thing is what we see. I just had a thought, they will see what we see and they won't need a mirror. When I looked in a mirror and saw a drunk so did they. I can see in your words, what you are today, and neither a mirror or picture is needed. Sober, there is always hope. Don W

Dunitall

Don

Thanks so much. You are so in my zone!! I know that we are both treading the same path.

I actually look in the mirror now and am happy with what I see. I need to work on my patience and allow others to see the same thing. That's not easy for me.

Tonight although I am on my own, I am not alone. My ex fiancee is with her family and that's exactly where she needs to be. I will wake up to the New Year with a clear head and a clear mind. I will try very hard to avoid bombarding her with phone calls or messages. It'll be tough, but I'll do it.

Happy New Year to you.

Rich