Introvrtd1

Im 46 days sober....Not that it makes any difference but I was a heavy beer drinker....Bingeing mostly on weekends till that would sometimes spill into the weekdays.

Well after my last sobriety of 7 months a few years ago, I’ve decided to quit once again this year. I was losing control and health was declining. Got sick n tired of being sick n tired.

During this recovery either I’m probably experiencing the worst paws I’ve ever had.....or I’m having the same anxiety and panic issues I’ve had since the mid 1990’s. Went on an ssri and got better....In my lesser judgment I decided to quit and wean off. Then the drinking started off and on, meanwhile the panic and anxiety barely returned. Likely due to the alcohol.

Now I feel as though my gaba and glutamate are so far out of whack it’s going to take a lot more time this go round for my brain to reach homeostasis once again.

Started to feel great at my 28 day mark but at 30 days things went haywire and I started having the worst panic and anxiety I’ve seen in many years.

Has anyone here been through wondering whether you are experiencing paws or just standard anxiety issues? Maybe I’m having a complicated mixture of both?

Thanks for reading.

biminiblue

Here's a good read for ya:

Part one:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...go-mad-20.html (For those tortured by PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms) and who fear they might go mad) (For those tortured by PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms) and who fear they might go mad)

Part two:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-part-2-a.html (For those tortured by PAWS (Post Acute Withdrawal Symptoms) and who fear they might go mad Part 2)

yojimbo

I can relate to your timeline since I also experienced some PAWSy moments just after 28 days, and on day 30 I decided to drink. Maybe this has to do with brain chemistry being balanced out, and just take the crazy day as it is and remain resolute with strength to not pick up a drink. Since alcohol is everywhere in our society it may make us feel like outcasts of sort, but it is all imho just a matter of choosing your own path and drinking is not part of that path.

That is nobody else\s business. If someone doesn\t drink, they just don\t. End of discussion.

Introvrtd1

Well it’s 91 days today....Im having mixed thoughts on how I’m supposed to feel vs how I’m feeling these past few days...

Its still challenging but there were stretches of good days and of course the bad...Of course the shorter bad days seemed like they were longer because Im learning not to focus so much on my symptoms....

For the benefit of those having similar experiences with paws, here’s my story:

Day 28-32 was horrible...Palpitations, anxiety, panic, and blood pressure spikes...

Day 58-62 less horrible and a bit less intense but similar to day 30...

Day 88-present: less frequent and less intense pawsy symptoms....had bad panic and anxiety the other day...Stressing over health anxiety issues...ugh

Overall Im trying to be positive and stay the course of sobriety...I have no intention to drink but I’m patiently waiting for more sober days to pass and the symptoms fade even further...Also practicing cbt, changing though patterns to stop catastrophic thinking and focus on getting on with recovery rather than symptoms analysis....Yes, Im seeing my Dr and taking meds as directed...Had my first covid vaccine and scheduled for the second in a couple weeks (Big anxiety trigger the other day but finally put it outta my mind)

I hope this helps someone reading to understand what’s happening through my experiences and I thank you all for the support...

Intro

Introvrtd1

Day 32 again….back on the wagon…. motivated only by the pain of pawsy symptoms, just like before at day 32….

Dee74

Try and not use too much energy on kicking your own butt Introvrtd1 - sounds to me like you're back on track.

D

Introvrtd1

Its not easy but ok…

Farrier

you can do it. 30 days seemed so far away for me and now i'm on day 382. the first 90ish days was the hardest for me personally, but the first 30 was damn hard.

I did my best to live in today and only today; still do that now to the best of my ability.

biminiblue

In my world, that is a huge motivation.

I don't EVER want to go through trying to quit again. It was horrible and I'll never forget.

More than that though, is the thought that I would likely never get out again if I gave up this last nine sober years and started up again.

Stick with us, Introvrtd. There is a lot of hard-won wisdom in these threads. It is so much better on the sober side just in general. There is help for any other problem as long as alcohol isn't the elephant in the room.

Oglsby

Hey there Intro,
I had major PAWS symptoms for quite a while, but they definitely improved a lot. I remember struggling a lot around the 30 day mark and at 60 and 90 days as well. However, I think at 4 months I was feeling significantly better.

I would strongly suggest that you see your doctor about your anxiety, because for me it is FAR beyond cognitive (irrational thinking) it is a genetic disorder, and I, too, experienced more intense anxiety when I quit years ago before I got on medication. I am not saying you need to be on anxiety medication, but for me, no amount of sobriety was going to make my intense panic attacks go away. Like you alcohol helped my anxiety (except with the rebound anxiety from hangovers).

When I finally got truly sober, which has been three years now, I could REALLY feel my medication working and helping and I personally it helped with my PAWS as well.
Just something to consider. Anxiety is awful, but I am of the belief that there are actually quite a few of us who simply need medication. There is no need to suffer if that is the case.

Only a doctor can tell you that, though, and I am certainly not one. Just my two cents. Panic Disorder was life altering to me, and started in 2002. My grandmother had it and my sister has it as well.