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Old 02-14-2020, 12:16 AM   #1 (permalink)
Redmayne
 
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Not sure where to go now..


My sobriety dates from the 15th of Feb., 2008.

On the 8th of Sept., 2016 I was admitted to hospital where I underwent an emergency life saving operation,caused by a bacterial infection, followed by five weeks in a medically induced coma. Due to concerns over a line of sepsis. None of which I was expected to survive.

Recovery, for anyone spending a prolonged period in a medically induced coma, is a bit like. As a neurosurgeon described it due to the fact you lose all your physical abilities and suffer reduced mental ability. Turning a tv set on in which the fuse has already blown and expecting it to work again, not going to happen!

The good news is that you do eventually recover but no one can predict how long that will take or the quality of that recovery. In terms of how well, physically or mentally you will function, if at all? At one extreme some people remain in a vegetative state whilst others do regain a high percentage of their abilities.

For myself, since my early days spent after I regained consciousness. I've always been aware that whomever I was or thought I was, no longer exists. Along the lines of the saying,' Please don't judge me how I was. I don't live there anymore.' Aided by the fact that the surgeon told me, I had been through a very stressful, traumatic event.

I've also always believed in the saying that, recovery, from anything. Isn't about going back to your old life. It is about building a new one.

And Epictetus saying,' When we confront any situation, we must first decide what's up to us.' In other words what is and isn't under our control.

Echoed by Marcus Aurelius saying,' The only power you have is over your mind, all the rest is external. Remember this and you WILL gain strength.'

So,twelve years into my sobriety and three years after these events the most sensible thing to do now is to turn adversity into advantage. Build constructively on all my experience and use it,in a positive manner to help others whilst at the same time helping myself...
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I'd rather go through life sober believing I'm an alcoholic. Than drunk trying to convince myself I'm not.
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Old 02-14-2020, 06:14 AM   #2 (permalink)
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You help me with your engagement and thoughtful shares here! I am grateful for our friendship and things you teach me. Happy birthday!
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"Sometimes, I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." - Alice in Wonderland
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Old 02-14-2020, 06:20 AM   #3 (permalink)
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My thoughts exactly! You have a gift of being able to put it into words. Happy Birthday!
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Old 02-14-2020, 08:44 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Redmayne View Post
My sobriety dates from the 15th of Feb., 2008.

On the 8th of Sept., 2016 I was admitted to hospital where I underwent an emergency life saving operation,caused by a bacterial infection, followed by five weeks in a medically induced coma. Due to concerns over a line of sepsis. None of which I was expected to survive.

Recovery, for anyone spending a prolonged period in a medically induced coma, is a bit like. As a neurosurgeon described it due to the fact you lose all your physical abilities and suffer reduced mental ability. Turning a tv set on in which the fuse has already blown and expecting it to work again, not going to happen!

The good news is that you do eventually recover but no one can predict how long that will take or the quality of that recovery. In terms of how well, physically or mentally you will function, if at all? At one extreme some people remain in a vegetative state whilst others do regain a high percentage of their abilities.

For myself, since my early days spent after I regained consciousness. I've always been aware that whomever I was or thought I was, no longer exists. Along the lines of the saying,' Please don't judge me how I was. I don't live there anymore.' Aided by the fact that the surgeon told me, I had been through a very stressful, traumatic event.

I've also always believed in the saying that, recovery, from anything. Isn't about going back to your old life. It is about building a new one.

And Epictetus saying,' When we confront any situation, we must first decide what's up to us.' In other words what is and isn't under our control.

Echoed by Marcus Aurelius saying,' The only power you have is over your mind, all the rest is external. Remember this and you WILL gain strength.'

So,twelve years into my sobriety and three years after these events the most sensible thing to do now is to turn adversity into advantage. Build constructively on all my experience and use it,in a positive manner to help others whilst at the same time helping myself...
You sound like a new man! "No man is free until they master themselves." Epictetus.
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Our thinking determines our feelings and our feelings determine our actions.
When good values trump your addiction, there is no addiction.
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Old 02-14-2020, 09:18 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Always good to read you Red 👍✌️
I always Enjoy a philosophical take on things.

Happy 12 years tomorrow dude 👍🐸
What an inspiration
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Old 02-14-2020, 09:32 AM   #6 (permalink)
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Build constructively on all my experience and use it,in a positive manner to help others whilst at the same time helping myself...
This is key for me. It is recovery in a nutshell. Thanks!
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Old 02-14-2020, 10:13 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Congratulations on your hard earned 12 yrs. of sanity and sobriety.

That was a wonderful post - helpful thoughts to contemplate. Thank you.
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A little voice deep inside me said, "Hello, I am here." It was a small voice, & sounded as if it were buried underneath the cushions of my couch. It was my soul...I had forgotten it.

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Old 02-14-2020, 12:22 PM   #8 (permalink)
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A man who has seen his own mortality is...

As a postscript to these events. Three weeks after I'd regained consciousness my son, almost in passing. Was the first, whether by design or accident to inform me that I'd spent my first five weeks in hospital in a medically induced coma, a salient fact I'd been unaware of until then.

After he'd gone I was returned to my room and placed in bed. Using the remote lifting device I managed to raise the bed to a point I could look out of the window across the hospital grounds. To life going on , as it had done all the time I had been comatose and would no doubt going on doing so...

Which caused me to think and later pen this, 'A man who has seen his own mortality is no longer a slave and is beyond externals.'

A thought, even though my time in recovery hasn't been easy,that has and will continue to, stay with me...
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