I don't want to drink anymore!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 504
I don't want to drink anymore!!
This is so messed up. I can't seem to get past 90 days. It's the loneliness that hurts. I don't know what to do to find someone. I don't want to live alone anymore. But this dinking business has to stop!
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,780
When you want to be sober more than you want to drink, then you'll be able to make it past any timeline. 
I find it hard to believe sometimes, but I'm coming up on 10 yrs this December. If I can do it, so can you.
Keep trying, you'll get there.
I find it hard to believe sometimes, but I'm coming up on 10 yrs this December. If I can do it, so can you.
Keep trying, you'll get there. 
Redmayne
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
Sobriety is an individual responsibility...
For a start I agree with everything said by others on this post so far.
Sobriety, yours, is an individual responsibility, whilst others may share their experience, strength and hope with you. You do it for yourself not other people, accepting that others along with yourself, may benefit in the future...
To be honest I can't actually think having other people in my life, other than those on SR assisted or helped, certainly not in the early days my recovery and subsequent maintenance of my sobriety, as much as it doesn't help me now and I've been on my own for many,many years...
Loneliness is a state of mind, it's not a permanent condition , start putting it before your sobriety, or anything else for that matter and there's a good chance you'll never get sober and if you do you'll just end up with 'white knuckle sobriety', and there's no permanence in that...clinging on to something that's never really yours...even if you do have someone in your life.
Sobriety, yours, is an individual responsibility, whilst others may share their experience, strength and hope with you. You do it for yourself not other people, accepting that others along with yourself, may benefit in the future...
To be honest I can't actually think having other people in my life, other than those on SR assisted or helped, certainly not in the early days my recovery and subsequent maintenance of my sobriety, as much as it doesn't help me now and I've been on my own for many,many years...
Loneliness is a state of mind, it's not a permanent condition , start putting it before your sobriety, or anything else for that matter and there's a good chance you'll never get sober and if you do you'll just end up with 'white knuckle sobriety', and there's no permanence in that...clinging on to something that's never really yours...even if you do have someone in your life.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,669
You are not alone. I will not turn your thread into a story of my horrors to show you I understand 100% feeling alone. Despair, sadness- all that.
But the fact is you are not alone. There is SR. And I also understand being alone- without a special someone. Very acutely (part of horror story), but honestly- with my fried brain and emotional and cognitive ******** fried brain, it is best I work on myself first. Keep posting- join some of the newcomer threads, heaps of support and words cannot hurt you.
My prayers and support to you.
But the fact is you are not alone. There is SR. And I also understand being alone- without a special someone. Very acutely (part of horror story), but honestly- with my fried brain and emotional and cognitive ******** fried brain, it is best I work on myself first. Keep posting- join some of the newcomer threads, heaps of support and words cannot hurt you.
My prayers and support to you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: California
Posts: 2,722
The good news LuluBread is that you don't ever have to take another drink.
Someone said that to me after a meeting in my first week of 'trying out this sobriety thing'. I said "Reallly, how?" One Day At A Time it'll be 33 years on the 13th of this month.
You can do it too!
Someone said that to me after a meeting in my first week of 'trying out this sobriety thing'. I said "Reallly, how?" One Day At A Time it'll be 33 years on the 13th of this month.
You can do it too!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by LuluBread 
I don't know what to do to find someone. I don't want to live alone anymore.
im 52, single, and LOVE IT!
couldnt say that when i was stuck in a bottle and dont think i could have said that if i didnt look at myself and learn why i was insecure.
Redmayne
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
An antidote to loneliness
' One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand than to be understood,' - Seneca
I've no doubt,, born out of my now own considerable sobriety and experience you'll find that here on SR...
Like most things in life the more you put into it, the more you'll get out of it....
I've no doubt,, born out of my now own considerable sobriety and experience you'll find that here on SR...
Like most things in life the more you put into it, the more you'll get out of it....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 504
Originally Posted by PhoenixJ
how are you today, lulu?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 504
Originally Posted by tomsteve
the best person to find is yourself. in doing so, you can be comfortable being single and by yourself.
im 52, single, and LOVE IT!
couldnt say that when i was stuck in a bottle and dont think i could have said that if i didnt look at myself and learn why i was insecure.
im 52, single, and LOVE IT!
couldnt say that when i was stuck in a bottle and dont think i could have said that if i didnt look at myself and learn why i was insecure.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2016
Location: Adelaide, Australia
Posts: 28,669
What you said- staying in the moment, that is being mindful, and although from some at meetings it sounds a bit like caliche, lulu- 'one day at a time' is how I get through stuff now. It does work.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: USA
Posts: 504
Originally Posted by PhoenixJ
What you said- staying in the moment, that is being mindful, and although from some at meetings it sounds a bit like caliche, lulu- 'one day at a time' is how I get through stuff now. It does work.
Staying in the moment (being here now, not dwelling on the past or having anxiety about the future). That's what I meant. :-)
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