Redmayne

Eight years into my recovery and on the 8th of Sept.,206 I'm unexpectedly in hospital. Facing a surgeon who is telling me that whilst he and his team are prepared to operate, he thinks that there is only a slim chance of my survival.

The cause, a duodenal ulcer(which burst on my way into the operating theatre) which had manifested itself as the result of a bacterial infection, H.pylori. Which exists in all of us...

Eight weeks later, five weeks after I regained consciousness. My son, almost in a passing remark , as he, not unreasonably thought that one of the health care professionals might have said something???

That immediately after the operation I had been placed in a medically induced coma because of concerns over a line of sepsis.

I wasn't expected to survive any of these procedures!!! None of which were assisted, certainly from my POV, that the after effects , both physically and mentally were, and to a lesser extent.,Two years on quite debilitating, certainly not for the faint hearted!

These days, with my recovery still ongoing. I was warned it would be a prolonged,slow process and we're talking years not months or weeks. I'm left, still 'safe, sane and sober' with the fact that I'm 'a revenant i.e. someone who has 'returned from the dead'.

With he thought that Epictetus said,'We're all little souls dragging a cadaver around,' and his former pupil, Marcus Aurelius was right when he referred,'the inner citadel of our soul.' principally because that's one are throughout this ordeal that no one touched...

On which basis,given the broad swath of people who make up SR I wondered how many, if any, others either had, or knew someone who had undergone either this or similar experiences? And its effect on them, in terms of their recovery. Spiritually, mentally and physically either on this forum or by personal message..

Personally,throughout all this I've worked on the basis that,if you want tio change your life, you must first change your state of mind...

PhoenixJ

me

well documented

game changer- mostly good, bar health stuff

Redmayne

Thank you, as regards the 'heath stuff' perhaps an interesting point for me is that the source of all this was a bacteria, H.pylori. Which exists in all of us and is normally benign but iss, on occasions known to attack the body and is usually treated quite easily and as I understand it, effectively...

In this case attacked my immune system raising concerns about a line of sepsis, which could have killed me far more quickly and effectively than alcohol bearing in mind In still am an alcoholic and will always suffer from alcoholism...

That said I must admit on the day, three weeks after I'd unexpectedly regained consciousness I had 'a road to Damascus moment' when I looked out beyond the hospital grounds and ssaw, not unnaturally life going outside, as it had done all the time I had lain in an induced coma and would have no doubt done whether or not I had died or not.

That was a very profound and humbling experience that will say with me for the rest of my life.

But you see what adds gratitude, despite all the adversity I've faced iib dealing with the after effects, spiritually, mentally and physically of all these events is. That, as I was told by a health professional that on a purel medical basis, what happened to me could happen to anyone...

That said, remembering I was well over eight months sober at the time of these events, I gained more both spiritually and mentally, although neither the physical or mental side of my recovery is prolonged and slow and 'tricky' at times, my mind sometimes plays tricks on me! In the face of all the adversity I have faced I'm reminded of this from Seneca,'Ignis aurum probat,' - fire tests gold - suffering tests brave men (and women) .

PhoenixJ

I see myself as an 'alloy' now- a fusion of good and bad- to which the moment of first clarity (somewhat altered by pain and hospital drugs) post my induced coma from burns treatment changed all.

Not fun, hard work- but productive and uplifting at times.

Redmayne

Prior to the events I've described,inn 2014. I took an interest in Stoic philosophy fist attracted to it after reading about its links to the Serenity Prayer. In Jules Evans book,'Philosophy for Life and Other Dangerous Situations' highly recommended!

There's lots of good stuff on Youtube, I like anything by Massimo Pigliucci plus Epictetus, Marcus Aurelius and Seneca, it's all about transforming emotions especially in the face of adversity...

It was ironic that in the face of these events that it proved quite useful and still is today...worth a look at, then you can make your own mind up

SoberCAH

Thanks for sharing this, Red.

One of my longtime friends in recovery had a heart attack around 10-15 years ago.

He flatlined and saw and felt himself being pulled into what ostensibly was Heaven.

He saw his deceased mother and brother.

He said he felt the physicians and staff trying to pull him back to this life, but he really didn't want to return.

He was not a religious person by any means, and I don't know whether he is today.

But I guess that he is a revenant, too.

Your regular references to stoicism have resulted in my doing some spade work into the philosophy and movement.

I think that I'm a non-declared stoic based on my usual reactions to things which are seemingly positive (SoberCAH gets what he wants) and those which seem negative.

I try to pursue the 11th Step (trying to develop and maintain a relationship with God and trying to learn and do God's will each day) very hard on a daily basis, and I credit those efforts with my fairly healthy level of acceptance.

I'm going to keep diggin and reading, though.

Thanks for the recommended resources.

Redmayne

Thanks for that, most encouraging. Can I recommend Jules Evans book, title above, an excellent read and Pierre Hadot 'Philosophy a way of life'. And the website Modern Stoicism, Massimmoo Piggliuci oon YouTube are also very good...