What else do you need?
Redmayne
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
What else do you need?
For me, recovery equates to equanimity, defined as mental calmness, composure and eveness of temper even in difficult situations.
Echoed in the words of the Serenity Prayer,' God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.'
If you have equanimity (serenity) , what else do you need?
'If you want to rule a great empire. First conquer your mind,' - Publius Syrus
Whatever path you choose in recovery...
Echoed in the words of the Serenity Prayer,' God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.'
If you have equanimity (serenity) , what else do you need?
'If you want to rule a great empire. First conquer your mind,' - Publius Syrus
Whatever path you choose in recovery...
Member
Join Date: Nov 2017
Posts: 8
Recovery for me begins with Acceptance.
Once you accept your situation, it gets you thinking.
"Man! I've got this problem. It's true. What do I do now? sit back, crib, feel sad or do something about it. Put up a fight. Man, if I'm going down, I better go down swinging. Go down fighting."
That's recovery. Knowing you have a problem, accepting, fighting and never losing your focus.
Once you accept your situation, it gets you thinking.
"Man! I've got this problem. It's true. What do I do now? sit back, crib, feel sad or do something about it. Put up a fight. Man, if I'm going down, I better go down swinging. Go down fighting."
That's recovery. Knowing you have a problem, accepting, fighting and never losing your focus.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 763
I see acceptance from a different angle. I had to stop fighting to get sober. As long as there was a conflict between me and my desire to drink, I relapsed sooner or later.
Once I accepted I couldn't drink in moderation, there was no longer a fight to fight, because the desire to drink was no longer there.
Once I accepted I couldn't drink in moderation, there was no longer a fight to fight, because the desire to drink was no longer there.
Guest
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Redmayne! Love to see a post from you, as always. I am very much aligned with your thoughts - "emotional sobriety" precedes everything else, underlines and supports my decisions, tools for right thinking, spiritual fitness...all of which support my permanent physical sobriety. For me, living my AA program focuses on being in steps 1, 10, 11 and 12 daily.
This internal balance and centeredness (my husband's frequent observation of my state of mind these days, wow!) eluded me, at least consistently, for most of my life even prior to my descent into alcoholic insanity.
Learning how to LIVE, and do it with grace, integrity and kindness - underpinnings of my recovery, all.
And, the morning habit of reading 84-88 and 417-418 serve lovely repetitive hammering home those daily focus points I mentioned! Helps me not to forget them
This internal balance and centeredness (my husband's frequent observation of my state of mind these days, wow!) eluded me, at least consistently, for most of my life even prior to my descent into alcoholic insanity.
Learning how to LIVE, and do it with grace, integrity and kindness - underpinnings of my recovery, all.
And, the morning habit of reading 84-88 and 417-418 serve lovely repetitive hammering home those daily focus points I mentioned! Helps me not to forget them
Redmayne
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
Equanimity is my goal!
Hi you! Ok, remembering I got sober ten years ago and that it's the quality not the quantity of it that matters It seems that, as always , we're 'on the same page'!
On the 8th of Sept., 2016 I faced an emergency,life saving operation immediately followed due to concerns over line of sepsis, which resulted in my sending five weeks in a medically induced coma, the after effects of which are that you lose all those physical a lot of the mental abilities most of us take, quite naturally, in our everyday activities, for granted...
I wasn't , and indeed my son was prepared for this outcome, to survive any of this. The surgeons described it as my having gone through a very stressful,traumatic experience, recovery from which would be quite a long, slow process over years, not weeks or months...
Two years on I'm now pleased to say I can walk unaided, about three quarters to a mile, but I'm not doing marathons, ok.
Mentally, I needed to go through a similar process, through a mixture of trial and error on what I can and can't assimilate during which time it's become apparent that emotional stability or equanimity. Defined as, mental calmness, composure and evenness of temper even in difficult situations, is and, if I'm fully to recover from my drinking and these events has and always will be my primary goal! No more and no less, and you can't buy or fake that!
On the 8th of Sept., 2016 I faced an emergency,life saving operation immediately followed due to concerns over line of sepsis, which resulted in my sending five weeks in a medically induced coma, the after effects of which are that you lose all those physical a lot of the mental abilities most of us take, quite naturally, in our everyday activities, for granted...
I wasn't , and indeed my son was prepared for this outcome, to survive any of this. The surgeons described it as my having gone through a very stressful,traumatic experience, recovery from which would be quite a long, slow process over years, not weeks or months...
Two years on I'm now pleased to say I can walk unaided, about three quarters to a mile, but I'm not doing marathons, ok.
Mentally, I needed to go through a similar process, through a mixture of trial and error on what I can and can't assimilate during which time it's become apparent that emotional stability or equanimity. Defined as, mental calmness, composure and evenness of temper even in difficult situations, is and, if I'm fully to recover from my drinking and these events has and always will be my primary goal! No more and no less, and you can't buy or fake that!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: West Tn
Posts: 3,043
Originally Posted by August252015 
Redmayne! Love to see a post from you, as always. I am very much aligned with your thoughts - "emotional sobriety" precedes everything else, underlines and supports my decisions, tools for right thinking, spiritual fitness...all of which support my permanent physical sobriety. For me, living my AA program focuses on being in steps 1, 10, 11 and 12 daily.
This internal balance and centeredness (my husband's frequent observation of my state of mind these days, wow!) eluded me, at least consistently, for most of my life even prior to my descent into alcoholic insanity.
Learning how to LIVE, and do it with grace, integrity and kindness - underpinnings of my recovery, all.
And, the morning habit of reading 84-88 and 417-418 serve lovely repetitive hammering home those daily focus points I mentioned! Helps me not to forget them
This internal balance and centeredness (my husband's frequent observation of my state of mind these days, wow!) eluded me, at least consistently, for most of my life even prior to my descent into alcoholic insanity.
Learning how to LIVE, and do it with grace, integrity and kindness - underpinnings of my recovery, all.
And, the morning habit of reading 84-88 and 417-418 serve lovely repetitive hammering home those daily focus points I mentioned! Helps me not to forget them
I broke up with my college/law school girlfriend in the early 1980s (I forget the reason if, indeed, there was one), married my newly found drinking buddy and got divorced, without any children, 21 years later.
During that lengthy interim period, I had gotten sober and learned to live what I hope is a considerably better life, although I keep working on that task daily.
I married my college/law school girlfriend 13 years ago.
The first observation that she noted was that I am so calm now.
Previously, not so much, when almost anything would set off a seismic reaction.
Redmayne
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
As human beings...
Human beings we're 'social animals' and whilst we an live alone, as I have done for many years, it is not unreasonable for us to seek the company of others to share both the company of others,particularly in terms of sharing thoughts, feelings and emotions. As we all do on SR!
That said there is a vast difference between being lonely and living alone, with few appreciate along with the idea of being your true self.
That said there is a vast difference between being lonely and living alone, with few appreciate along with the idea of being your true self.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
