Redmayne

Sober since Feb. 2008, I sometimes think, metaphorically speaking, in my head at least. Whilst I'm now free of the demands and desires of alcohol, I've never put the drink down!

By this I mean, in recovery, allowing for the fact that 'we deal with alcohol, cunning, baffling, powerful'. I've never really 'til now felt comfortable with my own recovery or sobriety and can, emotionally be caught off guard by little acts of kindness, etc.

I'm ok dealing with the 'big things', no problem and retain my serenity in a calm, objective manner appropriate to the circumstances. Even to the point last September, after being taken into hospital in emergency ambulance finding myself facing a surgeon who told me that whilst he and his team where prepared to operate my chances of recovery were slim!

But recently someone, quite unexpectedly and for the best of reasons has come into my life as a friend and by little acts of kindness. Starting from her first unannounced visit caused me to reassess not only my recovery but my life and all that's in it.

In a way that no one either before or after my drinking days no one has done before which to me is not only beneficial to my health and well being ut is quite amazing. Particularly given my length of recovery and makes me realise,up to this point, I've never really put 'the drink down'...

Making me think her contribution to both my recovery and my life is worth, in friendship a debt worth repaying which cannot be bought or faked.

Steely

I am so very, very happy for you Redmayne. The little things, connectedness with others mean more than all the tea in China.

Redmayne

'Every new beginnings comes from some other beginnings end' - Seneca

For me, given I'm none to bright it's a question of not asking to much of others and perhaps more importantly myself...keeping it and me, simple (ok, who said that's not to challenging, tee-hee) and to return to Seneca,

'Begin at once to live, and count each day as a separate life.'

Thanks, once again

Carpathia

It would seem she has opened a portal for your spiritual growth. You've been offered a gift.

Redmayne

I certainly have and one I certainly don't expect to abuse....as I was stupid enough to do in my drinking days, allowing for the fact my life is an ongoing lesson in the extent of my stupidity.

Sasha4

I am happy you are happy Red.
Everyone is deserving of friendship.
Whatever happened in the past happened and is gone now.

I think that I have learnt that when you meet someone new, they know you as you are now and not when you were in the depths of despair.

They have nothing to compare in that they only know the you that is now.

To me I cannot think of one single reason that you would not be deserving of friendship, care and compassion. It surprises me that you to think that way.

You keep believing in yourself as worthy.
I am sure that will make your new friend happy.

I wish you the best xx

Redmayne

Carpathia suggest my new friend has brought me a gift, one which I cannot refuse and which using your words to build on. I will cherish so that we can make each other happy in just being ourselves...

As Seneca said,'Friendship endures,

Love sometimes injures'

and I, in the past have paid a high price for love of those who didn't deserve it including alcohol.