Unbroken Brain
 

'Unbroken Brain' Explains Why 'Tough' Treatment Doesn't Help Drug Addicts

'Unbroken Brain' Explains Why 'Tough' Treatment Doesn't Help Drug Addicts : Shots - Health News : NPR

Her book looks like a game-changer in ways. Might have to get that one. Thanks, Boleo.

If you want to see what coddling and enabling addicts does, just walk around the streets of San Francisco. Just saying....

This reminds me of a recent conversation. I have a friend who is a devout Catholic and is in recovery from severe substance use disorder. When I asked her about A.A. and N.A. she said something like, "God is not going to restore anyone to sanity. That's not His job. And He's not going to remove my so-called defects or shortcomings. My addiction is my responsibility."

Amen, sister.

Gosh, I am glad no one told me that. That kind of prejudice would have snuffed out my last hope.

When I heard people talk about that stuff, and I looked at them and saw how it was working for them, I was at least willing enough to believe He might do that, if I did my part. I gave it a try on that basis.

There was plenty of spade work for me, I was not absolved of any responsibility. It worked. That is my experience.

Tough treatment of alcoholism is not effective in my experience, yet tough treatment of this alcoholic probably saved my life.

Got that right. Except they are usually referred to as homeless. Never mind the fact drugs/drink are a major reason why they are living on the streets.

Interesting comments at the end of the article. Worth a look.

I think the moral of the story is that different things work for different people. I personally responded well to "tough love". Others don't.

Let's remember we're here to share what works - not tear each other down.

Thank you for posting this Boleo. I needed to see this. tough love does not work for all. I have been so down despite maintaining sobriety from 2 addictive substances for near 7 months now. I am not responsive to "tough love" as it feels tantamount to kicking me while I am already down and I have come to feel sad about my sobriety, as if I am not "doing" sobriety right because I have not had the same experiences as others. I agree, empathy goes much farther than more mean, more cruel. The kinder folks here, those are the ones that give me hope and helped me personally. As a survivor of childhood abuse, I can also attest to the fact that empathy will do someone who is already very, very hurt much more good than going all angry and tough on them. Personally I have had more than my share of being treated that way growing up, and all it did was damage me, not make me tougher.

Thank you again for posting this, I am very down today and needed to see that I am not "wrong" for my experiences or feelings being what they are.

I agree. I think there are two areas in this discussion.

The first is the still drinking alcoholic. Tough love might well be the idea of letting the alcoholic suffer the consequences of their own actions. That was the kind of tough love, probably tougher for the lover than the lovee. When I was fired, when friends banned me, when police prosecuted, these consequences were ultimately effective in openeing my eyes to the reality of my situation.

The sympathisers, the cover-upperers, the excuse makers/accepters the tolerant, were really just enablers. They helped me get worse.

Almost the opposite was the case in recovery. I needed love, understanding, empathy, support, encouragement, but I also needed to know the truth. Enablers are sometimes disguised as understanding and loving, but won't tell the truth.

The other approach, confrontational, dictatorial, "tough love" to me seems a brutal approach to a shattered and fearful human being. You can't scare someone sober, but you could scare someone back to the bottle.

babying,coddling, and enabling was burying me.
I neded the message with depth and weight. big arse crowbar to pop my head out of my ass.
and none of the people that did that made me feel bad unless I allowed it, which I allowed it and needed to allow it so I could see all the selfish,self centered, self pity I was living in.

Absolutely this, yes.

...telling someone you are here for them is huge...but just as important is giving them information about what they are dealing w.

E.g....you are a drug addict sir...

It might seem harsh to some, but it is information they may never have heard before and it may be what they need to get moving in a wellness direction tonight...

Often I post on a thread here where someone is saying...I don't know why I can't stop drinking....

Everyone is saying...welcome....this is a great first step...etc...

But...nobody gives the information...e.g. ..you can't stop because booze is a highly addictive drug and it has damaged your brain...etc...

If someone is begging for information tonight....telling them to catch an AA meeting when they can doesn't put them in a position to embrace sobriety tonight...

My world...thanks...

Looks like a good read. I was a total believer of the tough love approach and recovered in 1990 with the old-school 12-step dynamic. However, once my partner's daughter became a heroin addict and going through that as a family.......recovering from my own relapse......and entering recovery in a totally different time and generation, I'm seeing a lot of differences even within the 12-step AA program I currently attend. It's really interesting to see and I'm not sure what my opinion is yet. I'm still needing to learn more.

I believe you're looking at a lot of mental illness and bad luck there, rather than coddling. One time I was in San Fran and gave a homeless woman the rest of my restaurant meal and she was so completely grateful, thanking me over and over....I'll never forget that.

This sounds like an excellent book. I think the "tough love" approach will eventually be replaced with science, medicine and positive support. Most people don't need to get their *sses kicked to achieve their sobriety goals. My husband wanted me to go to one of those places but I knew that approach wouldn't work with me. I chose a rehab that was positive and empowering. I already felt a huge sense of guilt and my self-esteem was in the dumpster. Why would I pay thousands of dollars for people to yell at me? I could've stayed home and got that!

A lot of mental illness uncorked absolutely. It's sad. We had a lot of that in my old neighborhood. It's a societal fail. We are all so sick collectively.,. Just sayin'...