Boleo

I relapsed dozens of times because I thought "standing in the doorway" of a burning building was good enough to escape the fire. After all, there was a crowd of people there to cheer when I got that far. They slapped me on the back, congratulated me for making it that far and told me I was doing fine. Some older spectators even told me I was right where I needed to be for someone who was only a few days/weeks/months out of the flames.

However, eventually the building collapsed right on top of me. I was told "keep coming back" without anyone warning me of the danger of standing near a burning building. I had to figure out for myself that stepping one foot outside of a burning building was not a safe place to stand still.

That's why I have switched fellowships. To get away from the crowd that says "good enough" when the simple truth is; "sometimes the good is the enemy of the best".

Gottalife

The thing is, my friend, that you speak the truth. It may be uncomfortable and unpopular in many quarters, it may seem to fall on deaf ears, but there is always the real alcoholic in the back ground who is desperate to hear it.

Please keep speaking your truth Boleo, you just never know who is listening.

sg1970

Great analogy.

beautifulpines

I'm listening and your shares help me (and I'm sure others).

Dropsie

Boleo,

What I am amazed at in all of this is how all the paths lead to the same place, its just the way the path takes differs.

Lets face it, alcoholism is a disease with a physical aspect, no doubt about it in my view.

But one of the challenges is that its a disease with a strong psychological component -- how does one change one's behaviour permanently?

And that, my friend, varies with different people.

The way I change is not the same as the way you do, and therein lies the key for me.

I can try and help by saying how I changed, but the danger is in believing that everyone changes in the same way, cause in my experience, that just ain't so.

Which is why any method that says "my way, or the highway" is doomed to fail for many folks, in my opinion.

Boleo

Yes and no. I see where MOST of the people in so called "recovery " are doomed to fail. Not because they are not doing it "my way" but because they are doing it in a transient way.

The "way" that I am talking about is not just my way. Rather it is the "way" recovery simply works best. Call it steps, call it 8-fold path or simply call it the Tao. The point is, some consistent path must be followed to get consistent results. Anything less is playing the role as an enabler.

Having large groups of people who tell others that they can "do as they please", has proven itself a failure so many times that it should now be universally recognized as throwing the baby out with the bath-water.

Systematically promoting marginal recovery is a classic example of where "the road to hell is paved with good intentions".