hopepraylove

How has acceptance played a part in your recovery (I am asking this from an alanon/narnon perspective, but all responses are welcomed) What tool did you use to get into acceptance? Steps? Prayer? Meetings? What finally helped you allow to let go of the addict/alcoholic and let them a) hit their bottom 2) do things on their own 3) leave, etc.

I'm having a difficult time with my NC/Detaching right now. I'm working my third step in my recovery, and have a hard time with "let go and let god."

keeppushing

Hi Hope. I started work on acceptance to deal with anger and perfectionism issues. It has helped tremendously with sobriety. What worked for me was mindfulness, specifically starting with guided breathing meditations coupled with a random timer that reminded me during the day to concentrate on the present moment.

Good luck!

KP

emilynghiem

I've been through so many grief and recovery processes, some that overlap, I couldn't keep track of all the changes. I can just tell you the main reason I made it through is I have a friend I call on for healing prayer when I cannot forgive and let go of an emotional overload, anything negative where I get stuck. The deep forgiveness prayer to remove any and all things attached from the past is what I used to get through the many steps and layers. I even recommend it to atheist friends who don't even believe in that type of prayer and it works! Forgiveness heals. Unforgiveness kills. I don't ever want to be stuck in that again. I would like everyone to be completely free of pain and suffering, and forgiveness is the key step to getting unstuck. I feel very fortunate and wish everyone had the kind of support I've had, and we'd all be working in peace, perhaps going through the same recovery, but without all the emotions attached that drive people crazy. That, I can do without!

Redmayne

Acceptance first came to me when, classically described in Step 1 of the suggested AA 12 Step program of recovery, " We (in this case, I) admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable."

The first, and most powerful being one bright, sunny Saturday morning, some time in the mid-90's. When on a visit to the local library I was overwhelmed by the need and craving for alcohol, to such an extent. I had to be lead by my compulsion to drink, I immediately left and went to the nearby local off-licence. Purchased 4 cans of my 'drug of choice', a super strong lager 9abv. Well known to alkies in the UK, went home and drank all four, one after another until the craving subsided...it was the equivalent of downing a bottle of whisky.

Proving, despite my being what others refer to as a 'high functioning alcoholic' something I'd been, as a voracious reader, doing since a child!

Regrettably, recovery followed by prolonged and, hopefully, a day at a time , didn't follow until many years later. Until in 2007, a guy passed me a recording of one of ,'Charlie and Joe's: Big Book Study Meetings' which, in conjunction with the book,'Alcoholics Anonymous' I learned the exact nature of my disease/illness of alcoholism.

It was also, as part of that acceptance, a great relief to find, I was not, as I'd previously thought, an addict although I was very, very sick...

I mark my full acceptance coming, together with my sobriety, from the 15th of Feb., 2008 when, as I have come to believe, I had, whilst alone and unaided. And so debilitated by alcohol, I couldn't stand, a 'physical or spiritual experience' - see ,'The Doctor's Opinion' in the book, 'Alcoholics Anonymous.' When the desire to drink alcohol was taken from me...the proof of which is that I'm 'safe, sane and sober' today and can , in sharing my experience, strength and hope, post this response to your thread today....

I hope this assists you and others....

NestWasEmpty

I couldn't or wouldn't accept . I was made to when my Dr gave me 6 months to live if I kept on. If my health & body didn't fail me I'm pretty sure I would still be an alcoholic .
I'm just happy & thankful my body knew more then my brain

Bird615

Working the 12 steps, prayer and meetings were all important. It was still a lot of hard work. In my experience with it, if I wasn't accepting of something I would pray for it. In hindsight, it seemed that conditions would then progress or rather deteriorate to the point where I'd finally had enough and was willing to let go. Hanging on and resisting any more was just too painful.

Pipefish

Your post really got me thinking....tools for acceptance....hmmmm

I'm not sure I've ever really used a tool as such. Acceptance for me seems to be a by-product, of one of two things, and a process, rather than an event.

The first is usually, as a result of being stuck in a groove of some kind - let's say a spot of willfullness, a period of needing to be right all the time (exhausting, not to mention idiotic! :-)), impatience & being very critical (see the emerging trend of my default ways of being here :-)), acceptance will usually arrive as a result of being very tired of the way I have been reacting to life, and how miserable it is making me, and those around me, It's about that instance of recognition, that lets me see, accept and then the change comes, or the grace is given to change. And sometimes it doesn't change, and then I accept that too...not my time yet :-) I'm not sure there are any neat edges to this thing, it just keeps rolling on....

The second is more about time; often times, acceptance of a situation has arisen without my even seeking to be accepting of it. Maybe my focus has shifted, having been so busy just putting one foot in front of the other, and getting on with life (which is a big enough task all by itself) that the situation or person I was getting so bent out of shape over disturbs my peace of mind so much, that you know what, it's a relief to put it aside, and say to God, help me with this, I can't do it on my own.

If there were a tool, it would be that rather marvellous Big Book story 'Acceptance was the answer' particularly page 417. Guess who got home from work and re-read that one a few weeks back? :-) Rumi's Guest House poem is another very good read for seeing where one is with the principle of whatever comes, I'll accept. Easy to say, not so easy to live, but for me, is part of the struggle and reward of being on this journey.

Good luck with the NC/Detaching. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other, and you'll be trudging in some good company :-)

Wish you well

freshstart57

Acceptance for me was learned through mindfulness, learning to sit and be at peace with the present moment, learning to be at peace with what is.