I don't want to have to acknowledge it.
 

Reflecting on my recovery to date, followed by a prolonged period of sobriety, one day at a time!

I recall the words of an investigate journalist here inn the UK, herself a recovering alcoholic. When she said, speaking of certain dignitaries, 'I don't mind being aware of their existence, but I don't want to have to acknowledge them.'

I now find myself taking the same view of alcohol, in that expressing the same feelings. I don't mind being aware of its existence, but I don't want to acknowledge it.

And certainly not in its self destructive, insidious form that it took in my life.

Which reinforces the suggestion offered in the book 'Alcoholics Anonymous', that it's ok for me to go anywhere, where alcohol is present. Provided my primary purpose is to be there for any other reason than to drink it !

Although I must admit, applying this principle, in the early years of my recovery. I still felt a certain amount of discomfort in the presence of alcohol and those drinking it...

But, as the song goes,'For a moment we're here, then we disappear. Like dragonflies.' Those feelings of discomfort no longer exist.

Dragonfly Touch down
 

I agree that at times we can allow ourselves to go to some places where alcohol is probably going to be. Yesterday I attended such an event and found to my surprise that I was far more interested in the beautiful, creative art surrounding me, then the tall, lovely woman offering wine. It didn't interest me. Now, will I repeatedly attend occasions where alcohol is present and most folks are drinking it? No. but like you mentioned the dragonfly, I can touch down gather in what I need and fly off to a secure place.

One small business enterprise I own is involved with entertainment at wedding receptions. I am engaged with wedding guests frequently who are intoxicated. This interaction has a way of reinforcing my sobriety by witnessing abhorrent behavior.

So I suppose this is a level of hypocrisy that keeps me sober?! Not that long ago I would have joined right in with these party revealers. Maybe it's only hypocritical if I were still drinking and found the behavior objectionable.

Anyway, I fall into the sick and tired of being sick and tired category. Just supersaturated with booze. I find drunks boring - including review of myself in the past.

How do I (we) ever think that was fun? Who was that guy???