Why?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Charlottesville,VA
Posts: 14
Why?
I have had thoughts of using for over a week now. I thought that if I hung in tight and kept myself close to the fellowship that they would disappear. I'm doing everything that I've done for the past 6 months to stay clean. Why all of a sudden is my mind consumed with such thoughts that I know will ultimately kill me. I don't want to use but I can't stop thinking about it-HELP!!
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: georgia
Posts: 6
What usually helps me when I have thoughts of using is to play back the tape and see how miserable I was and how my life was out of control instantly!! and all of the family and friends I would be hurting but most of all I would be destroying myself. Hold on, go to a meeting, If you don't have a sponsor get one immediately. Pray...Pray...Pray. Call someone now! Thanks for letting me share.
Lynda
Lynda
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Charlottesville,VA
Posts: 14
Lynda,
Thanks for your words, the things you said about go to a meeting-I have and will again today, the sponsor-I have one and call everyday, pray-every minute and I still can't stop thinking. I do play the tape back and that's why I said if I use I will die, I don't want to use but I can't get rid of these thoughts. It's like my disease is playing this game, see how long I can make you think about it before making you want to do it. I appreciate your words of wisdom though, that's why I came here and posted.
Thanks for your words, the things you said about go to a meeting-I have and will again today, the sponsor-I have one and call everyday, pray-every minute and I still can't stop thinking. I do play the tape back and that's why I said if I use I will die, I don't want to use but I can't get rid of these thoughts. It's like my disease is playing this game, see how long I can make you think about it before making you want to do it. I appreciate your words of wisdom though, that's why I came here and posted.
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Posts: n/a
The "why", for me anyway, is because I'm an addict and alcoholic. Its what I think about. It used to be a major part of my life, and my life as it was then revolved around it.
The thoughts will come and go, it's what we do with them or how we deal with them that is important. And if it never goes beyond the thought, we're still ahead for the day.
Practicing recovery, working in our recovery, talking with others about it, trying new or different hobbies, and staying occupied other ways will all help to get us through the thoughts. And it gets easier over time. And the thoughts will decrease over time.
We didn't become "A's" overnight. Getting a good recovery, mentally and physically doesn't happen overnight either.
I'm glad you spoke up, I hope you continue too, and don't give up.
D-
The thoughts will come and go, it's what we do with them or how we deal with them that is important. And if it never goes beyond the thought, we're still ahead for the day.
Practicing recovery, working in our recovery, talking with others about it, trying new or different hobbies, and staying occupied other ways will all help to get us through the thoughts. And it gets easier over time. And the thoughts will decrease over time.
We didn't become "A's" overnight. Getting a good recovery, mentally and physically doesn't happen overnight either.
I'm glad you spoke up, I hope you continue too, and don't give up.
D-
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 423
JSD, you wrote a very compelling and powerful post on July 12, 2004. Amen to what Doug stated - we have a disease, a very powerful disease that we cannot take for granted - ever.
I would ask that you go back an reread YOUR story, and how far you have come. You have learned from many hard lessons...
Why the feelings all of a sudden? Maybe now that you are sober you can begin feeling again - turn that into a positive. You can genuinely feel appropriate emotions that are not drug induced - I'd say you are living life how it was meant to be.
Keep positive and do not live in the past! There are aa lot of people behind you (here included), so take advantage of that support.
Take care,
Dave
I would ask that you go back an reread YOUR story, and how far you have come. You have learned from many hard lessons...
Why the feelings all of a sudden? Maybe now that you are sober you can begin feeling again - turn that into a positive. You can genuinely feel appropriate emotions that are not drug induced - I'd say you are living life how it was meant to be.
Keep positive and do not live in the past! There are aa lot of people behind you (here included), so take advantage of that support.
Take care,
Dave
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
My question would be what DO you do to help keep yourself clean? I know for me it's all about continuing to work what works. We all go through those emotions, feelings, and contimplations, the important thing is to remember where you don't want to go,and why you want to stay where your at.
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: OKC
Posts: 50
When I start to get consumed by using thoughts... I pray to my Hp. I also "play the tape"... all the way to the bitter end... and then I remember what got me here.
The thoughts ger weeker with time... and work. I have 2 years clean and they still surface from time to time. I take them for what they are... thoughts. And... I do not have to act upon them... I have a choice today.
The thoughts ger weeker with time... and work. I have 2 years clean and they still surface from time to time. I take them for what they are... thoughts. And... I do not have to act upon them... I have a choice today.
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: N.Y. N.Y
Posts: 101
I think that it is normal in our recovery that we will think about picking up again.
What works for me is going to AA meetings, especially, if I am in a spot like your in.
Working the 12 steps of AA help me take a look at myself, become humble, honest with myself and to repair any damage thats been done in my life. My attitude has changed for the better and I am looking at things in a more positive light.
Another thing that can have you thinking about picking up again are people, places and things.
If you can change your routine and start to hang around people like yourself that are clean and sober, you will have a better than average chance of staying on the right track.
You are doing the right thing by voicing your concern on the board.
Hang in there, one day at a time.
What works for me is going to AA meetings, especially, if I am in a spot like your in.
Working the 12 steps of AA help me take a look at myself, become humble, honest with myself and to repair any damage thats been done in my life. My attitude has changed for the better and I am looking at things in a more positive light.
Another thing that can have you thinking about picking up again are people, places and things.
If you can change your routine and start to hang around people like yourself that are clean and sober, you will have a better than average chance of staying on the right track.
You are doing the right thing by voicing your concern on the board.
Hang in there, one day at a time.
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