Si25

So I have been 5 days sober. And what a few days it has been.

Last drunk at a Christmas work party. Hugely drunk on wine and then blacked out and told how hilarious I was. Saw the messages/texts I had sent the next day and not a great sight.

Christmas has been hard due to grandparents being ill and being taken to hospital. Spent most of the time in the hospital or sleeping due to stress of the situation or due to depression/anxiety of drinking. Was offered a few drinks over Christmas, which I did not accept, although was very very tempted to use to chill out.

Tomorrow I am back to work for a few days before New Year. I am going to speak to the boss to break the ice since the party. Not spoke to him since. I am dreading being told what I did and hugely hugely scared I will be told I have lost my job. I have worked hard from going to University and love my job but am petrified one stupid night might have cost me this.

I have also been in touch with AA and am looking to visit a meeting either this week or next. Will call the main number tomorrow when I am out the house to not let my parents know I am going again and that I am having issues.

Serenidad

Great job on 5 days! It gets better!

Si25

I am also terrified to go to a meeting. Especially I usually drink to gain courage. And not knowing anyone is very daunting.

Si25

Thanks Serinidad

Soberwolf

Well done on day 5 Si

Soberwolf

Well done on day 5 Si

Soberwolf

Well done on day 5 Si

Soberwolf

Well done on day 5 Si

Gottalife

I too was terrified to go to a meeting on my own without knowing anyone. I never would have got there on my own.

Through phoning AA I got to meet with a recovered alcohlic one on one. I spent an afternoon with him learning about alcoholism and AA and how he recovered. By the end of the day I had a new friend and he took me to my first meeting and looked out for me in the first few weeks while I found my feet.

I could also have gone to the central office during the day. AA members are always visiting and it migh be a good spot to meet someone who could help. Maybe there is a 24 hour club in your area. Also a good place to make initial contact and have a chat. It is certainly much easier if you have a buddy to go with the first few times, and a bit of advance knowledge of what it's all about.

Hevyn

Let us know how it goes tomorrow Si. It'll feel so good to put that episode in the past.

Great job on your 5 days though. Things will get much easier.

Distraught1

In addition to drinking in front of my teenager three nights ago, I TEXTED MY BOSS (about what a great husband he is, nonetheless - at nearly midnight on a work night), AND made a 3-second call to the COO of our company. Why?? Alcohol. I totally understand your mortification. I'm praying they don't address it, but the anxiety of not knowing is sickening. I don't drink often, but when I do, my behavior becomes over-the-top ridiculous. I'm generally extremely inhibited, and alcohol drops all of those guards down, which can be dangerous. I say enough is enough for me. I'm hating myself right now, and that's not a fun way to be. You are not alone, friend.

Si25

Thanks Distraught1. It feels good to know I am not the only one. And also you totally understand that the alcohol has done it and normally you would never act this way. I am thinking of you and hope we can both get over these similar incidents.

Dee74

I hope all will be well with your job, and your grandparents, Si

D

HeadLump

5 days and a commitment to going to AA is a fantastic way to respond to the embarassement and shame of a blackout. Well done, you

Madison6

The doors to an AA hall can, on first visit, weigh a ton. However, very soon you will look back on that moment with gratitude. I love that many of us are worried about not knowing anyone etc, I was the same way as I tend to be fairly shy and have a lot of social anxiety. However, at 10 months in and over 200 meetings I can tell you AA is the last place to worry about! Honestly, it's my favorite place because you really can do or say or be almost anything! I had a friend in the program always refer to it as social kindergarten (in a nice way) just for that reason. Good luck!

messyarts

in a very similar boat. you can do it.