Redmayne

Oneof the most useful books in my possession at the moment is Richard Bach's,'Messiah's Handbook - Reminders for the Advanced Soul.'

One of the useful aphorisms to be found in it says,'It's called a default belief, when you agree to rules, before you think, when you go along because you're expected to. A million of those in a lifetime unless you're careful.'

Now 68, I awoke this morning thinking that until today my life, from the age of 8,when lifes events had me taken from my Grandparents home, had been a bad dream and if it wasn't it was a life riddled, more through circumstance than choice with a succession of default beliefs.

Including all of my personal and professional relationships and my 30 years suffering the effects of the disease/illness of alcoholism. Which,perhaps oddly enough took its grip on me in my early 30's.

In all these, other than my drinking, I left taking what talents and abilities I had available to me, with me. Often at a cost to my dignity, self confidence, materially and financially. What was most puzzling was that, setting my drinking aside, I was often most successful in my four various careers, with a bright future ahead of me. Said not by me but by others....

Whilst still, albeit as previously mentioned, at some cost retaining my own ability to be my true self. Often based on my own self reliance and experience, which as in most people, feed and support each other. Both learned from my Grandparents and in my teens at what is now referred to as a military academy.

Of course the proudest of my achievements was to get into recovery, ultimately leading to what is now a prolonged period of sobriety. A day at a time, with no rom for complacency.

This both providing evidence of a life lead that was never as it was planned, and thereby by default belief. As I never left my desire to drink alcohol,it left me. When I had what I have to accept and believe, here being no other explanation being forthcoming, then or now, ac 'psychic or spiritual experience' when I was so debilitated by alcohol I didn't think I'd see the sunrise the next day!

Fortunately, in recovery the way my life has panned out the chances of my falling foul of falling prey to any default beliefs in personal or professional relationships are now very limited.

My son, his family and I keep what is known in legal terms as a 'watching brief' on each other coming together for the appropriate social occasions, which doesn't interfere with their busy professional working lives, or mine.

In my personal and professional lives I had 1,000's of colleagues and acquaintances and a few relatives. All now gone, disappeared in,'the mists f time'...

All this has left me with the feeling that my life in recovery can begin anew without let or hinderance of the appearance in any shape or form of any 'default beliefs'. So much so that I can trust in myself and my own abilities together with my belief in the God of my understanding in simply being the person I was always meant to be....

Confirming my belief that in recovery none of us can ask for more than that and that's not a default belief.

TheGamer

Very touching post.

Glad that you're doing so well. I think that it might help you to reconsider alcoholism as a disease, persay. No actual scientific evidence exists to back up the idea, not even in neuroscience. Basically our brains are a highway of neurons that vary in their ability to mold to new patterns and behaviors and one of those can become dependancy, which leads to a loss of balance in homeostasis. From there, the body reacts by balancing the high you gave it. Alcohol is much harder to kick I think than my DoC, opiates. Especially since in extreme cases it can be fatal during withdrawal.

Regardless of your methodology, you're clean, and that's what matters most! I just don't think addiction is a real thing. I mean, there's just no evidence, it's just something people say. I think it'd help you, but that's just my own thought and you are entitled to your own belief despite my babbling.

Keep on rockin in the free world!

Redmayne

I've no objection to any form of constructive comment or criticism in any area of my life, but I often find that anything that contradicts logic and experience should be abandoned....

TheGamer

Agreed! Everyone is different too and what may work for one may not work for another. I'm glad you have found a method that works for you.

Redmayne

....and many others to, best not be selfish about what is an insidious, self destructive,life destroying disease/illness whatever your views are...remember, principles before personalities....

TheGamer

Yup. The ultimate goal - despite ones approach - is sobriety.

As a man of science, I completely sympathize with your statement: principals before personalities; what's observable, repeatable, experimental and open-minded to inquiry. In science, we always accept the possibility that we could be wrong about the fundamental causes of what we observe. The beauty of it all is that we can correct ourselves when wrong and in the case of human physiology, personalize our medical treatment of dependency to cater to each individual. Perhaps once more research is known, we will fully understand the mechanisms of dependency and its effect on the brain. Until then, we have to be brave, open-minded and willing to let others grow the way they feel best and most comfortable. I am myself and I love myself, I don't want to see myself lose my life to my dependency, which is why I am so excited to begin outpatient treatment on monday/tuesday.

Some may choose spirituality, some may choose science and some may choose their gut feeling among other approaches; but the sought-out result is always the same:

Sobriety

Redmayne

Well, as it says in the book 'Alcoholics Anonymous','Live and let live,' I think there's even a suggestion in there that science may one day provide an antidote or cure to alcoholism. Certainly any suggestions from others in that regard are always seen as welcome, just have to hope they work on a long term basis...that's the secret really.

Redmayne

Just as a matter of interest, you having described yourself as a man of science, the book 'Alcoholics Anonymous' (4th Ed.) has several notable entries by your colleagues. All notable health professionals of their generation.

To be found in,'The Doctor's Opinion', 'Doctor Bob's Nightmare', 'The Medical View on A.A.' and The Lasker Award....which may interest you.