Wise, hopeful, compassionate ...
Redmayne
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
Wise, hopeful, compassionate ...
In my recovery I gain a lot of guidance , on a daily basis from the words of Max Ehrman's poem,'Desiderata' (1927) the Latin translation meaning 'desired things', which, taking an overview of the complete wording of it, translates into, 'wise, hopeful and compassionate. Although there is much on offer for anyone either trying to or in recovery to add to and enhance it. To much to reproduce here, but highly recommended.
I find it particularly helpful when, as often happens, given the circumstances that reflect my life's history, not all caused by my 30 years of drinking as a 'high functioning, real alcoholic' cause me to feel my life has no proper perspective to it and is in a state of flux.
Evidenced in an objective, constructive assessment offered by a highly qualified acquaintance, himself both a Consultant Surgeon and Psychologist. Who in making a proper assessment of the selfish and irresponsible actions of others which caused huge loss and trauma in my life, distanced it from my drinking.
I sometimes still find great difficulty in piecing all those parts of my life together as one, and all the pain and suffering it caused me sometimes outweighs the other making keeping them and my life as it is now. In which I still metaphorically speaking, bear the scars affecting all areas of my life, at times, difficult to balance...in a constructive, meaningful way as I try to make spiritual progress and lead a more fruitful existence.
Which really should be easy I know, but how do you 'sweep away the wreckage of the past', when the past has been annihilated? All that's left being a gaping crater together with my sense of both loss and wonderment as to how I survived it all ?
Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the gift of sobriety but I can't be grateful or considerate of a past that robbed me of my life, not one but twice that doesn't even allow for those responsible to say their sorry, let alone make even modest reparation from all that they deprived me of.
That relies on me and my belief, note not faith. Belief is someone or something you personally believe in, faith is what others ask you to believe in, big difference. Together with the God of my understanding, otherwise I wouldn't have even have the opportunity to at least try top be wise, hopeful and compassionate...
I find it particularly helpful when, as often happens, given the circumstances that reflect my life's history, not all caused by my 30 years of drinking as a 'high functioning, real alcoholic' cause me to feel my life has no proper perspective to it and is in a state of flux.
Evidenced in an objective, constructive assessment offered by a highly qualified acquaintance, himself both a Consultant Surgeon and Psychologist. Who in making a proper assessment of the selfish and irresponsible actions of others which caused huge loss and trauma in my life, distanced it from my drinking.
I sometimes still find great difficulty in piecing all those parts of my life together as one, and all the pain and suffering it caused me sometimes outweighs the other making keeping them and my life as it is now. In which I still metaphorically speaking, bear the scars affecting all areas of my life, at times, difficult to balance...in a constructive, meaningful way as I try to make spiritual progress and lead a more fruitful existence.
Which really should be easy I know, but how do you 'sweep away the wreckage of the past', when the past has been annihilated? All that's left being a gaping crater together with my sense of both loss and wonderment as to how I survived it all ?
Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for the gift of sobriety but I can't be grateful or considerate of a past that robbed me of my life, not one but twice that doesn't even allow for those responsible to say their sorry, let alone make even modest reparation from all that they deprived me of.
That relies on me and my belief, note not faith. Belief is someone or something you personally believe in, faith is what others ask you to believe in, big difference. Together with the God of my understanding, otherwise I wouldn't have even have the opportunity to at least try top be wise, hopeful and compassionate...
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