Redmayne

It's probably true to say of me, as the late and eminent Psychologist,Carl Rogers theorise I'm one of those people, now 67 and nearing 68, who has lead a 'rich', full life of experiential learning. Knowing both great triumph and disaster in equal measure, whilst still retaining the enthusiasm for new experiences. Which apparently has me as a 'fully functioning person.'

This description includes the fact that in the 1990's, I managed to 'lose' everything, and I do mean EVERYTHING!!! Twice, other than my son, whom I raised from the age of 10 yrs, (he's now 33) as a single , unsupported parent and my ability?

Of course, whilst these episodes, as was eventually some years later pointed out to me by someone far more qualified than I , were brought about be the selfish, irresponsible actions of others, whom it was suggested were and still are suffering from a mental disorder.

I wouldn't for one moment sway away from the fact that I'm undoubtedly a 'real alcoholic' of a type described in Chapter 3, 'More About Alcoholism' and that both ,'The Doctor's Opinion' and the suggested 12 Step progamme of recovery described in Chapter 5,'How It Works' in the book, 'Alcoholics Anonymous' played a significant part in my eventually getting into recovery and what is to date a prolonged period of sobriety, dating from the 15th Feb.,2008, then aged 61!

Also accepting that whilst I'm a 'real alcoholic', I could perhaps be described as a 'high functioning' but nevertheless, alcoholic having at least during this time, and before pursued four successful professional careers none of which were concluded on the basis of my alcoholism, although there's little doubt in my mind it played a contributory factor....

So, I'm now left in then position where I live, in both instances in a modest , secure environment, something that I hadn't done for many years until I arrived at my present location in 2007 enhanced with an equally modest, but nevertheless guaranteed secure income that will last me the rest of my days.

Other than that, not wishing to belittle others or my own sobriety, I have nothing, no problem. I f the definition of being affluent is having everything you need, not what you want. I'm affluent....


The only problem I have now is, given I suffer the illness/disease of alcoholism and am one of the small, about 8% of 'real alcoholics', compared to many of those generally referred to as alcoholics and without wishing to take anything away or demean or belittle anyone. Goodness knows the pain, suffering and desolation that surrounds our disease/illness, touching all involved....

I wonder where both generally, in society and beyond, where do I 'fit in' and do others feel the same?

freshstart57

I don't find I'm suffering now in the least, especially from the illness/disease/malady/pick-your-synonym of alcoholism. While drinking, I suffered plenty, but now, I have a rich, varied, challenging and fulfilling life. If there is something about it I don't like, I can either accept it or change it. I could do neither of those things while drinking.

What is your problem now exactly?

Redmayne

Obviously I've given you and perhaps others the wrong impression, I'm not suffering, nor do I have any immediate problems, thanks for your interest... I suppose what you could say is that I'm trying to gain some form of emotional balance on those life changing, for better or worse, events in my life that all overlaid each other, but are not linked together or related.... i.e. sparing you the details that the two, metaphorically speaking , 'tsunamis' that hit my life in the 1990's when I twice lost everything.

Which after the first one literally meant that I stepped off a 'plane from the US, with my son, the clothes we where wearing , and nothing else were related to my drinking...

Nor could you say, at the time I was relieved of my alcoholism by having, given no other explanation has been forthcoming, a 'spiritual or psychic experience' that by then, in 2008 it was related to previous events...

There is no relationship or linked consistency in any of these events, yet whilst I've met and known of alcoholics who through their alcoholism have lost their lives, wives,children, finances, jobs, cars etc., etc. I've yet to meet or hear of someone in recovery who has lost everything in their lives three times, only one of which might, note I say might be related to alcoholism...

Boleo

I have experienced both "The Principle of Favorability" and "The Dark Night of the Soul".

I have experienced the best of sex, drugs and rock-n-roll... as well as the living Hell of DT's.

I have had both a homeless experience and a Spiritual Awakening.

I have been both a real alcoholic and am now a recovered alcoholic.

If I had it to do all over again, I would not change much (except I would have invested in Google stock).

silentrun

That sounds rough Redmayne. You survived it all and are sober today. Are you trying to figure out where you "fit in" or figure out some meaning to all of it?

Redmayne

The simple answer to your questions is, yes. I wondered, setting aside the pain and suffering both I and many others endured as the result in my case of my inherent alcoholism in my 'drinking days.' Now long since passed, over 6 years and all being well, never to return.

If, more through the selfish, irresponsible actions and behaviour of others, although I accept that both I and my alcoholism must have played a contributory part, simply by being there and being subject of the events caused by them.

Had, perhaps encountered anything similar, although I wouldn't wish it on anyone...

As for wondering where I fit in, enhanced by my spiritual beliefs together with Buddhist philosophy/psychology, same thing really ...I find Richard Bach's books, 'Illusions The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah' and the later 'spin off' or 'lost' book from that,'Messiah's Handbook - Reminders for the Advanced Soul', which is more a book of useful sayings and aphorisms, most useful and, for people ;like me, highly commendable...