drinking again
Member
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: New braunfels tx
Posts: 1
Same Boat
My wife filed for divorce about two weeks ago. I used to think the same things... I don't love her anymore, its not the same as it used to be, we have grown apart, blah, blah. Then, I realized- I HAVE BEEN PROTECTING MY DRINKING! I chose it over sitting with her on the couch. I chose it over spending time with her in general. I chose it over spending time with my kids. Over the last 6-7 years she would "harass" me about my drinking. It would make me despise her and make me "think" I do not want to even be in the same room with her. Well, I saw my 2 daughters for the 1st time in about 2 weeks Friday- for 3 hours. I get to see them Mondays and Fridays from 5-8pm. I look back and I see a loving wife trying to help me. A great mother to my kids. I She put up with a lot. She'd had enough. I quit 9-1. The fog has lifted and I see a beautiful woman that was good to me and was only trying to help me and our marriage. I was blind. I wanted a buzz. She wanted me. But, not the drunk me... I guess what I am trying to say, from experience, is our want/need for a drink completely blinds us from what is right in front of us. Get the blinders off and love her husband. He is not trying to make you feel guilty. He is just trying to live his vows- FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE.
Welcome Nbh to SR. You will find lots of support here. Sorry to hear about your relationship. Mine has actually been improving. Although we are not married, we have been together for 14 years. So I do call him hubby. I last drank on September 6. My sister got married and I was her bridesmaid. And we celebrated. So....Unfortunately I am just wrapping up day 2. I am very committed to giving it up for good this time. Congrats on day 9. Maybe your wife will come around if you can stay sober. Good luck to you No one has posted on here for awhile but I appreciate everyone of you and you all have helped me in your own different ways.
I'd like to hear an update. I don't need to though, because fear that I already know why you haven't been back.
I will tell you that it is clear that will power alone will not get you there. I'm sorry if I'm offensive, but I am direct. You say you're "very committed", but what are you doing about it? Are you in a rehab, an in/out patient program, going to AA, seeing a therapist or addictionologist.
I think you should be more honest with yourself. Admit that it is a serious problem and you are 100% unable to control it. It is a VERY HARD realization to come to. I'm not coming from a "holier than thou" stand point. God knows I've been struggling with alcoholism for 22 years. But your story is all too familiar and almost never does it end by saying, "I'm not going to drink anymore". You wouldn't be here unless you knew there was a problem. And I wouldn't be here if I had all the answers like it seems I'm saying that I do.
You can walk into AA and not say a word. IF they come to you, say, "My name is Mary (or whatever) and I'll pass".
Honesty with yourself is the first hurdle in your way, I'd suggest you leap it.
GOOD LUCK ! It is hard, but worth it !!
I'll be checking in. (c:
I will tell you that it is clear that will power alone will not get you there. I'm sorry if I'm offensive, but I am direct. You say you're "very committed", but what are you doing about it? Are you in a rehab, an in/out patient program, going to AA, seeing a therapist or addictionologist.
I think you should be more honest with yourself. Admit that it is a serious problem and you are 100% unable to control it. It is a VERY HARD realization to come to. I'm not coming from a "holier than thou" stand point. God knows I've been struggling with alcoholism for 22 years. But your story is all too familiar and almost never does it end by saying, "I'm not going to drink anymore". You wouldn't be here unless you knew there was a problem. And I wouldn't be here if I had all the answers like it seems I'm saying that I do.
You can walk into AA and not say a word. IF they come to you, say, "My name is Mary (or whatever) and I'll pass".
Honesty with yourself is the first hurdle in your way, I'd suggest you leap it.
GOOD LUCK ! It is hard, but worth it !!
I'll be checking in. (c:
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