Information vs too much information
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 132
Information vs too much information
This morning on another forum unrelated to recovery a woman posted that since coming to that forum she began to feel like everything she does is wrong.
She gets distracted and confused by the variety of opinions and practices of all the different people, and has lost her confidence, and is overwhelmed.
For some people a buffet is the best thing, pick and choose, go back for another helping of what is good.
I have a friend who has a very hard time knowing her mind and making decisions, then trusting them.
Shopping with her hurts, and it hurts her too. She goes home tired and with a headache, questioning her decisions.
On that forum people suggest that maybe the forum is not the best place for someone with that personality because it paranoias them to have too much information or opinions. They suggest she speak to a specialist.
when there is a subject I feel shakey on somoetimes it is harder to talk to too many people about it. I had that lately with a health issue. Sometimes I here I read a post and think that is what is happening with someone. Most people here are not professionals and don't know us closely. They are people just like us, so yes, listen but don't take any one voice as THE VOICE.
She gets distracted and confused by the variety of opinions and practices of all the different people, and has lost her confidence, and is overwhelmed.
For some people a buffet is the best thing, pick and choose, go back for another helping of what is good.
I have a friend who has a very hard time knowing her mind and making decisions, then trusting them.
Shopping with her hurts, and it hurts her too. She goes home tired and with a headache, questioning her decisions.
On that forum people suggest that maybe the forum is not the best place for someone with that personality because it paranoias them to have too much information or opinions. They suggest she speak to a specialist.
when there is a subject I feel shakey on somoetimes it is harder to talk to too many people about it. I had that lately with a health issue. Sometimes I here I read a post and think that is what is happening with someone. Most people here are not professionals and don't know us closely. They are people just like us, so yes, listen but don't take any one voice as THE VOICE.
Recovered
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,129
I used to be like this...before I found and developed an inner compass. Now I seem to make decisions easily and when I do come up against a tough decision, I have tools to take me through the decision process.
My advice is to pick ONE method to learn this skill and then DO it. The problem many face is that they read and read and read and then don't DO anything. ACTION is key.
My advice is to pick ONE method to learn this skill and then DO it. The problem many face is that they read and read and read and then don't DO anything. ACTION is key.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Paralysis of analysis or creeping elegance are what come to mind with this topic.
I think recovery is even more difficult because there is a lack of trust in our own thinking, since most of us got ourselves into this situation and some are dealing with legit mental health issues.
I followed a program similar to what mfanch is describing. I tried a program ,did not work, tried another, did not work, tried another parts of it worked, tried another parts works...now I have a program that is working. Its a trial and error as we are all different, which is why there are many different programs to suit different learning abilities and needs. I find it particularly therapeutic to have a forum where we can meld and sometimes discuss (argue) about what is working and what is not like SR.
I think recovery is even more difficult because there is a lack of trust in our own thinking, since most of us got ourselves into this situation and some are dealing with legit mental health issues.
I followed a program similar to what mfanch is describing. I tried a program ,did not work, tried another, did not work, tried another parts of it worked, tried another parts works...now I have a program that is working. Its a trial and error as we are all different, which is why there are many different programs to suit different learning abilities and needs. I find it particularly therapeutic to have a forum where we can meld and sometimes discuss (argue) about what is working and what is not like SR.
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,912
Archelon, I am someone more on the opposite end of the spectrum and especially enjoy the variety of responses, opinions, and personalities, so I usually do well on online forums and enjoy the experience. There are times when it gets overwhelming, though...
If you feel that too many people/opinions is too much for you, how about finding a select few individuals (maybe just one or two) that you feel some connection with and can relate to them - and try to interact with them privately, 1:1 (PM function here). My experience on SR has been that first I was only active on a few specific public threads and read selectively. Then discovered a few people whose thoughts and experiences really hit home for me, and started communicating with them via PM. Lots of this for a while but with only 2-3 people, intensely. It was a process... eventually I figured I do benefit a lot from the public boards and started posting all over the map, wherever I saw something interesting or thought I could help. So naturally the PMs lost priority then, but I still do maintain a few connections that seem mutually beneficial and enriching, and where we have things to tell each-other.
There are many people here on SR who tend to stick with their select circles mainly, you could do something similar maybe?
If you feel that too many people/opinions is too much for you, how about finding a select few individuals (maybe just one or two) that you feel some connection with and can relate to them - and try to interact with them privately, 1:1 (PM function here). My experience on SR has been that first I was only active on a few specific public threads and read selectively. Then discovered a few people whose thoughts and experiences really hit home for me, and started communicating with them via PM. Lots of this for a while but with only 2-3 people, intensely. It was a process... eventually I figured I do benefit a lot from the public boards and started posting all over the map, wherever I saw something interesting or thought I could help. So naturally the PMs lost priority then, but I still do maintain a few connections that seem mutually beneficial and enriching, and where we have things to tell each-other.
There are many people here on SR who tend to stick with their select circles mainly, you could do something similar maybe?
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
I agree with both posts above me. The amount of advice can be staggering and it's often conflicting. For example: "Stay close to home early in recovery" and "change your routine" are two of the most common pieces of advice a newcomer will get. Stuff like this threw my brain into the washing machine right off the bat: my routine WAS to stay home. What the heck was I supposed to do with this advice?
I also agree that it's really hard to trust your own instincts for a while. In rehab, I was often told "and look where that got you" when I was asked to describe my daily schedule on the outside. I had extreme self-doubts and I started to wonder if "up" was actually "down", and "red" had been "blue" all along. Freaked me out and led to some severe depression.
I worked in sales for a long time, and one thing I learned early was that a customer becomes overwhelmed if you give them too many options. You are trained to present "Option 1" and "Option 2" - and only bring up other offerings if someone asks for more.
Like mfanch, I was relieved when I began to trust myself again and found my inner compass. I think it's important for folks to know that they don't have to become a different person in recovery - they simply need to find their true selves again.
I think the word "Rediscovery" should become a more common word in the recovery community.
I also agree that it's really hard to trust your own instincts for a while. In rehab, I was often told "and look where that got you" when I was asked to describe my daily schedule on the outside. I had extreme self-doubts and I started to wonder if "up" was actually "down", and "red" had been "blue" all along. Freaked me out and led to some severe depression.
I worked in sales for a long time, and one thing I learned early was that a customer becomes overwhelmed if you give them too many options. You are trained to present "Option 1" and "Option 2" - and only bring up other offerings if someone asks for more.
Like mfanch, I was relieved when I began to trust myself again and found my inner compass. I think it's important for folks to know that they don't have to become a different person in recovery - they simply need to find their true selves again.
I think the word "Rediscovery" should become a more common word in the recovery community.
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Join Date: May 2014
Posts: 132
Originally Posted by haennie 
If you feel that too many people/opinions is too much for you, how about finding a select few individuals (maybe just one or two) that you feel some connection with
I brought this up as a subject about recovery, I am not having that problem here. Sorry to confuse.
I wouldn't want there to stop being so many voices here, but sometimes I see a newcomer feel overwhelmed and feel for them.
I was confused on where to post for awhile, but that is sorted now. I was able to do as you say when I got into recovery. I floundered for a little while about where to go, but then found someone trustworthy and they got me on my way.
we can have AV chatter inside, chatter outside. In recovery we find a clear voice within and without and we get solid.
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