cbk

Hello everyone. Don't really know how things work here, this is my first day on this site. My husband is a recovering alcoholic/addict and he has been sober for 2 months now. We've only been married for 9 months and we are already talking about a divorce. I haven't been the supportive wife like I should be. I've only attended 1 AA meeting and last night was my first alanon. I love him very much and I'm really glad he's not using anymore. I don't want our marriage to end!!!!! I don't really know what I should do. Any advice?

Tanis

This is a hard one and one I am not really qualified to help with I am sorry to say.

I am finding that being sober brings a lot of changes especially to relationships.

All I can really say at this point is keep communication going between the two of you and go to meetings (and keep posting here). There are better people here than me who can help you.

Doug

Whoa! His addictions and recovery are not your responsibility. Or your fault. Or about you. Try to take it easy on yourself.

You went to an Al-anon meeting, trying another might help you, as well as visiting our Al-anon forum here.

You'll find your not alone, others have been there, and the only thing you can do, as well as the best thing you can do, is take care of yourself and get the help and support you need.

Addictions affect the whole family, not just the user.

Welcome to SR, keep posting!

Chy

Yes, it's not your responsibility to make sure he remains sober. I'm glad he's trying though. Understand, it's a slow process, we have a lot of healing to go through, and sometimes the emotions can be a little out of whack. If it's meant to be you both will persevere through this, but please continue to go to Alanon.

Magichappens

Hi cbk,
There is a great Al-Anon forum here. There are a lot of people who are dealing with and have dealt with very similar situations. You are welcome to browse the posts, or post your own. You can vent, share, and learn. It is a really big part of my Al-Anon recovery. My husband is sober. I know it is very hard for you both right now. Just try to focus on taking care of you, and allow him to focus on taking care of him. Seek some people that can be supportive of you now, because it takes a while for newly sober people to get some balance and be able to give of themself. It will take some time for you too. Don't beat yourself up for not being the fix for the problems you two are having. Give it time. Begin to heal. Come visit us when you want. You aren't alone. Hugs, Magic

dini67

Hi there,
My sponser always told me to not make any major decisions or changes in the first year of recovery. See if you two can stick it out and go to as many meetings as you can to help support your husband. I still have hard times with my guy but we are commited to making it work and it has gotten better but the first couple of years of sobriety were hard on our marriage. Good luck.