Redmayne

What recovery means to me In recovery which has lead,for me to a now prolonged period of sobriety,lasting well over six years! That said with no sense of complacency, only to well aware that there was a time when I thought I'd never go a day without a drink inside of me....

I realise, that amongst the gifts sobriety has brought me, it's also provided a subtle change in my outlook on life.Perhaps best described in the quote made by Frank Costello, played by Jack Nicholson, a Boston Irish gang boss in Scorcese's film 'The Departed' who said,

"I don't want to be part of my environment. I want my environment to be a part of me," he actually said, in the second sentence," I want my environment to be a product of me, " for all those purists out there...

As I've no wish to pursue the life of a criminal gang boss or boss of anything of anyone or anything, other than me, I've tempered that quote a little...

In appreciating the subtle difference between the first and second sentence, I can, atthe same time see the difference between my life as an alcoholic, always in a state of denial, trying to kid myself that,'Hell, everybody drank and I was no different that anyone else," fat chance! Involving my always trying to 'fit in' and be part of my environment, to the person, in sobriety, I am today, where my environment,wherever that may be, is part of me and I no longer have to try to be anything, other than my safe, sane and sober self...

Alcohol may be ,'cunning, baffling and powerful' as it says in the book 'Alcoholics Anonymous', but sobriety in it's sheer subtlety, honesty and integrity and all that provides, beats the hell out of that!