SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

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-   What is Recovery? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/what-recovery/)
-   -   Are you an alcoholic? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/what-recovery/327151-you-alcoholic.html)

matt4x4 03-26-2014 09:14 PM

Are you an alcoholic?
 
No one can say if you are or if you are not.

Only you can decide if you are alcoholic or not.

The thing I noticed with myself is, if I am questioning it, I probably am. I do not go to AA meetings for the coffee.

freshstart57 03-28-2014 05:59 AM

I drank for 35 years and became dependent on alcohol, even addicted to it, but I quit. I don't question it either, so, no.

Joe Nerv 03-28-2014 06:32 AM

According to most definitions including my own, absolutely. According to some of the definitions by people here at Soberrecovery, absolutely not. :)

aasharon90 03-28-2014 06:54 AM

I'm and Alcoholic in recovery. And meeting
with a good cup or 2 of coffee made by fellow
recovery members is DELICIOUS...!!!! Oh,
and a platter filled with yummy cookies or
treats give it that extra touch of flavor. :)

23 yrs. built on a solid, strong foundation
built with steps and principles as a guideline
to follow.

RobbyRobot 03-28-2014 06:57 AM

No one can own my alcoholism for me. As for people correctly calling people alcoholic, that routinely happens around the world timelessly again and again. People can also be wrong of course. The chickens come home to roost when some sober time has been accomplished, and a return to drinking becomes an option. Usually the option when played out is by those who dismiss identifying with being alcoholic. When the drinking again goes sideways, and the drinking option is shelved again for a time, the question becomes circular and nothing changes if nothing changes. And the beat goes on.

I own my alcoholism not because I quit drinking, but because I failed at quitting too many times to not be anything else but a chronic alcoholic as described and suggested by AA. I own my alcoholism as an illness because the living solution to my alcoholism works much to well for me to be anything else but a chronic alcoholic who is now recovered from same.

amishlady 03-28-2014 07:48 AM

The question I've been asking myself for the past 13 days while sober. Am I really an Alcoholic, do I really need to quit drinking all together? I've taken test and the results show I am and I know in the past I have drank too much, blacked out, thrown up etc. I guess I've always considered myself a binge drinker, but drinking more and more lately. Until March 15th when I drank too much and put my boyfriend and I in a ditch. Thank God we survived and didn't hurt anyone else!! I'm trying to look at it as a second chance and so we quit drinking. We've never tried this before and it's going good for the most part but...we will be kid free this weekend and it has always been our pass to yuck it up...worried about this weekend. And still trying to justify it's ok to have a couple at home this weekend when the boys are at their moms....crazy right? And then I ask myself...who determines if I'm an alcoholic and how and why can't I have just a few. This is harder than I thought!!!

freshstart57 03-28-2014 02:12 PM

Amishlady, there are plenty of alcoholics who never quit drinking. There are also lots of people who are no longer comfortable with their level of alcohol consumption and have decided to quit for all sorts of really great reasons.

So therefore, the question you asked, 'Am I really an Alcoholic, do I really need to quit drinking all together?' is really two separate questions. I think the way forward is to answer the second question first - Do YOU need to quit drinking altogether? That question is the one that addresses behavior. The first question is about a subjective label and labels don't change behavior.

ReadyAndAble 03-28-2014 03:05 PM

Experience has shown me that I cannot drink alcohol safely, enjoyably, or controllably.

Call it whatever you want. The name we give a thing does not change the nature of the thing. :)

jdooner 03-28-2014 06:20 PM

I actually relate to the term addict more than alcoholic. Alcohol was one of my many addictions that go back to my youth. I exhibited compulsive behavior and mindset since I can remember and would uses substances and behaviors to pacify my wants and needs. I have always been anxious and drugs and alcohol were the only means to be present. This worked until it did not work. Now I am learning to be present and comfortable in my own skin sober - this is no small feat.

Am I an alcoholic? I drink for emotional purposes only to get drunk never for the taste. I know that drinking will result in undesired consequences but I did so anyhow for twenty plus years. This is my basic definition of addiction and alcoholism is a subset of addiction, so I would have to say yes if I am being honest with myself.

Of course I could lie to myself, which I did for most of my life but I know where that got me...

RobbyRobot 03-29-2014 03:06 AM


Originally Posted by amishlady (Post 4555463)
And still trying to justify it's ok to have a couple at home this weekend when the boys are at their moms....crazy right? And then I ask myself...who determines if I'm an alcoholic and how and why can't I have just a few. This is harder than I thought!!!

Justifying why can't you just have a few is creating the hardship since its throwing away your ownership so as to duck out on your responsibility to not again put your lives in the ditch.

Wanting to drink isn't the real challenge here. Making up the rules so that the option to drink is always on the table is the real problem. As long as drinking can be justified as a doable solution, then its likely that option will sooner then later be taken.

This is one of those things that even when we are aware of how crazy justifying whatever comes off as, the want to still anyways satisfy ourselves with drink is a huge red flag on being alcoholic when we think we have absolute rights to play with fire.

Addiction ambivalence in all its glory.

There is no way out of this without feeling uncomfortable. Eventually though quitting becomes comfortable for the long haul while drinking only gives back short term comfort and even that is at cost.

There are no real alternatives to ownership. I hope amishlady you make the best choices for YOU.

matt4x4 03-29-2014 07:38 AM

Addict and Alcoholic are one in the same. Both mean the exact same thing.

freshstart57 03-29-2014 07:54 AM

BINGO! My way of thinking too, Matt. I am not addicted to anything, and it's a great feeling.

Raider 03-29-2014 08:09 AM

I'm an addict. End of story.

Aellyce 03-29-2014 08:31 AM

Definitely an addict but I try not to let this be the center of my universe (even though it may seem like it is considering that even my job is related). I'm also a lot of other things. Alcoholism and some other addictions have been some of my challenges but they do not define me.

ru12 04-06-2014 03:03 PM

I don't drink alcohol. I used to abuse alcohol, I don't now. That is enough for me.

GunnyL 04-06-2014 03:49 PM


Originally Posted by matt4x4 (Post 4557275)
Addict and Alcoholic are one in the same. Both mean the exact same thing.

I agree, at least for me. While I am alcoholic in the physical sense, in my mind I'm a whatever will kill my emotions addict.

Fortunately for me I was either too scared, wary or whatever God was protecting me, I never went beyond pot, pills and booze.

matt4x4 04-06-2014 08:19 PM

Alcohol is a drug.

LadyinBC 04-07-2014 12:40 AM

There is no doubt in my mind that I'm an alcoholic. I will be one for the rest of my life. Admitting this to myself was like a weight being lifted. I didn't have to struggle with the "am I one or not" anymore.

SoberCAH 04-07-2014 03:15 PM

If I am not an alcoholic, I would hate to see what it takes to be one.

Yes, without any shadow of a doubt, I am an alcoholic (of the hopeless variety, for that matter).

flujays 04-08-2014 04:23 PM

I've been drinking too much for over 20 years. I was able to successfully not drink through all 3 of my pregnancies which gave me a false sense of security. I've only been asking myself this question for the last 2 years. It has got to the point where it doesn't matter any more what I label myself. I know that I must not drink anymore because I want to see my children grow up and I want to be a positive presence in their lives. At the moment they still argue about who gets to sit next to me at the dinner table. I'm truly blessed with these kids. I've tried many times to stop drinking and finally went to AA 6 months ago. Just this week I feel like I turned a corner and now have not had a drink in 5 days. I got a sponsor and go to meetings, albeit not as many as I'd like to go to, but as many as I can. I get up and tell the group my name and say I'm an alcoholic, but I haven't quite mastered the first step yet. I get the unmanageable bit, I couldn't manage my emotions around my children and the fear of their future without me if i continued to drink. I couldn't manage the sense of impending doom and black cloud over my head, like watching a slow train wreck. I feel like the pilot of a jumbo jet that's spiraling out of control in a deadly head spin towards the earth... and all of the passengers aboard are my family, people I love and adore. I know I'm the only one who can pull up and save us from a fiery crash, but I don't know what button to push and I have a blindfold on. That feeling tells me I must not drink anymore. So now I say I'm an alcoholic whether I'm one or not because it would be much safer for me to say I'm an alcoholic and be wrong than to say I'm not an alcoholic and be wrong.


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