relapse in terms of AA
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 13
I was discussing this the other day with a sober friend. It can be a double edge sword. Some people are so ashamed if they have long term sobriety, and people look up to them. The thought of letting everyone know, starting from day 0 adds fuel to their stress, and causes more harm them good. Some never come back b/c of it..
For others it can be a motivating force that helps them through tough times, by continuously hitting milestones etc...
My view is it is up to the individual entirely.. No one else. If someone is sober for a period of time and slips, the sober time isn't ruined or thrown away.. Realise you are human, and accept that, and do your best to get back on track...
I don't thinks its anyones business if someone decides a slip doesn't "wipe out" previous successes. The important thing is you learn from it, and don't shame yourself for it. Its your sobriety that is important.
For others it can be a motivating force that helps them through tough times, by continuously hitting milestones etc...
My view is it is up to the individual entirely.. No one else. If someone is sober for a period of time and slips, the sober time isn't ruined or thrown away.. Realise you are human, and accept that, and do your best to get back on track...
I don't thinks its anyones business if someone decides a slip doesn't "wipe out" previous successes. The important thing is you learn from it, and don't shame yourself for it. Its your sobriety that is important.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Posts: 2,775
Originally Posted by awuh1 
...My question to you is this. When it comes to stating your sobriety date, out loud, where other people will hear it, which date is more likely to keep you sober? Which date is more likely to help someone else to stay sober? You know the exact truth, it's what you do with it that matters.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 106
Originally Posted by Dee74
Actually, I think intent makes a big difference.
If I absent mindedly took a sip, I can't see how thats relapse. If I intentionally took a sip, for the taste, in moment of 'what the heck' or whatever, then yes, I'd call that a relapse.
I'd hope not to find myself in that situation tho - I have no business holding anyones alcoholic drink - it's safer that way
It's one of those to thine one self be true deals I think, Daisy
(for the record I'm not a 12 stepper)
D
If I absent mindedly took a sip, I can't see how thats relapse. If I intentionally took a sip, for the taste, in moment of 'what the heck' or whatever, then yes, I'd call that a relapse.
I'd hope not to find myself in that situation tho - I have no business holding anyones alcoholic drink - it's safer that way
It's one of those to thine one self be true deals I think, Daisy
(for the record I'm not a 12 stepper
)D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2011
Posts: 61
Isn't it fair to say that how you conceive of your sobriety is up to you? It's yours, and yours alone. Whether you consider a sip a "relapse" or not is purely subjective. I've had many sips of alcohol since getting sober (my wife drinks) just for the taste of it and it's never been a problem. For another person, those sips might lead to some serious cravings.
If it's helpful for you to reset the date, do it. If you don't really consider this a big deal at all (and I kind of find it insane to think of it as anything other than a completely meaningless event) then keep it at the same date. If someone pressures you into thinking about this in a way you find uncomfortable, f*ck 'em.
If it's helpful for you to reset the date, do it. If you don't really consider this a big deal at all (and I kind of find it insane to think of it as anything other than a completely meaningless event) then keep it at the same date. If someone pressures you into thinking about this in a way you find uncomfortable, f*ck 'em.
Recovered from Hopeless State
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
Take cover Jimbo. I sense a storm coming and I don't mean the potential one in you. For the record though, my "sobriety date" varies depending on point of view. I don't know exactly what my "sobriety date" is. Nor do I care. I know I'm sober and steadily getting soberer. I also understand the risk in taking a sip.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 8
I have wondered the same thing! The days to me count and if I slip I feel like a failure and it makes it hard mentally to get back on track knowing day 57 is now day one AGAIN! But I also look at as yes I messed up but I need to get back on track and tomorrow is a new day and everyday I don't drink is one more day i get to be here for my family!
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
a "true" relapse? Since when does time sober have anything to do with how well we are? I know people with decades who are nuttier than squirrel poo. 
Don't beat yourself up about it. It is in the past now and you've got to keep moving forward. Counting time won't keep you sober. Its just a number. Like age...you're only as old as you feel!
I know people with decades who are nuttier than squirrel poo. Don't beat yourself up about it. It is in the past now and you've got to keep moving forward. Counting time won't keep you sober. Its just a number. Like age...you're only as old as you feel!
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,025
Originally Posted by awuh1
My question to you is this. When it comes to stating your sobriety date, out loud, where other people will hear it, which date is more likely to keep you sober? Which date is more likely to help someone else to stay sober? You know the exact truth, it's what you do with it that matters.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Boston, Ma
Posts: 188
I have a few sponsee's and one took a sip of a drink at a wedding, knew exactly what she was doing and the other had someone put something in her drink at a party and she tasted the alcohol right away, and threw the drink out.
The first one relapsed.
The second one did not.
I agree with Dee, its all about intent.
And as far as your ego telling you that it was just a sip of alcohol and you still have the time sober that you had previous to that sip. Sorry, nope.
We all know what that is....
EGO = EASING GOD OUT.
Be grateful for whatever genuine sober time you have, it gives you the perfect opportunity to work this simple program.
H.O.W. = Honesty, Openminded and Willingness.
The first one relapsed.
The second one did not.
I agree with Dee, its all about intent.
And as far as your ego telling you that it was just a sip of alcohol and you still have the time sober that you had previous to that sip. Sorry, nope.
We all know what that is....
EGO = EASING GOD OUT.
Be grateful for whatever genuine sober time you have, it gives you the perfect opportunity to work this simple program.
H.O.W. = Honesty, Openminded and Willingness.
Recovered from Hopeless State
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New Jersey, USA
Posts: 2,156
For me, my true sobriety date is when I first felt sober. I had already not had a drink for a while. I remember the exact moment it happened but really couldn't say the exact date. However, my sponsor just today assigned me my official date so that works for me too
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