justsomeone

Low

That is so great to read justsomeone, I have 86 days today after being sober for 10 years then relapsing... congrats to you. It took me many years to get back, and I am so thankful. I hope you are finding your journey as exciting, rewarding and scary at the same time, that I am. All the best.

justsomeone

Thanks Low! Congrats on your continued journey. I wish you all the best!

sethmerrkin

You're going to hear your story if you start going to meetings. One of things that helped me the most was realizing that all of these problems I thought were unique to me were in fact common alcoholic problems. Isolating, for example, is very common among alcoholics. Shutting down your interactions with others because it's too overwhelming is something I did all the time.

justsomeone

Thanks sethmerrkin. I'm slowly starting to realize that my problems aren't unique. It's giving me a glimmer of hope that there is a way out of this fear based life I've lived for so long.

dSober

Lol, FAR from it! There ain't nothing unique about you, or me. Well, fingerprints and SS#, maybe, lol.

justsomeone

Yup! I've even been playing the 'I'm even more sick than other alcoholics' game. "No one has social anxiety as bad as me!" That thought comes up often. But the more I reach out the more I see myself out here. I feel like I'm gaining strength to deal with all these thoughts trying to keep me down.

It's a slow climb out of that 'poor me' attitude, but it's happening.

Jason913

Go to aa Just Someone. I was a daily drunk from 20-24 then I quit drinking....but used every party drug I could get my hands on and smoked pot daily. Then I realized I needed to get back to drinking. It was semi controlled for 10 years with more out of controlled than under control in the 10 year stretch. 34-38 wide open drinking and drugging. I found AA just over 3 months ago. I wish I had found it back when I was 24 rather than substituting mood altering substances. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. Arrest it as soon as you can. I found eliminating drink and drugs completely is the only way to go. Good luck.

dSober

Keep up the good work Jason!

justsomeone

Thanks Jason! Your history sounds very similar to mine. I just finished step 2, and I'm feeling good about it!

Ken33xx

If you don't mind my asking what lead you back out?

Did it start by drifting away from meetings?

dSober

For me, meetings helped educate me about AA but didn't get me sober for long. Working hard at convincing myself to surrender, then doing it, per the steps, did and so far is keeping me that way.

up2shenanigans

Congratulations on your 83 days. I'm new to this site and yours was the first post I read. For two years I have been wanting to reach out for support, but live in a community where I counsel many members of the population, both church and secular community.

Being honest with others about my struggle with alcohol came back to damage me in a big way, while offering nothing in the way of support and recovery. My response to the backlash was to go stealth and drink in private.

I began doing what you did, isolating, not leaving the house, sending my son to the grocery store for food so that I wouldn't buy beer.

Today I found this site and your encouraging post. I'm not ready to join a face to face to group, but I did schedule an appointment with a recovery therapist that I will show up to. I'm very excited about my sobriety journey and the hope that it brings.

Thank you for your inspirational post.

dSober

I would also recommend picking up a copy of "Alcoholics Anonymous", a.k.a. "The Big Book". It was written in 1939 and is in it's 4th edition. AA is talked about a lot here and I think it's pretty likely your therapist will mention it as well. It's all based on that book. Also, you don't have to "join" anything. I think the best way to start is to find an open speaker meeting, somewhere, and just go and listen. Chat with other's before and after if you wish.

dSober

P.S.

Orange County AA Meeting Directory

up2shenanigans

Thanks dSober. I have The Big Book and have been to a few meetings. I appreciate your post.

justsomeone

Thanks up2shenanigans! I'm glad that you're reaching out too. I really didn't think others understood the social isolation part, but the more I'm out, the more I see others going through the same thing.

I've been attending some online meetings. I know that they can be used to keep us isolated if we depend on them too much, but I've found that they are helping me get out of my shell a little. I even went out to brunch with an old friend. This is someone I haven't spent time alone with (I met her through a friend). And it was actually nice!

I hope you keep coming back!

Sobriety is now at 97 days! Almost fell a few times, but I've made it this far!

Dee74

Congratulations someoneelse

welcome to SR up2shenanigans!

D

dSober

Don't let step 3 hang you up like it did me; for several long, miserable, declining years. When I finally discovered MY Higher Power was within me along, I got past it. I believe my Higher Power is my conscience. Whatever works... but that's what finally worked for me. I just have to do what my conscience tells me is right, even if inconvenient After that, the rest has been a refreshing walk in the park.