Get a bigger boat! What tools do you use to support your recovery efforts?
 

I love this quote from Jaws where, after seeing the shark for the first time, Brody says to Hooper, "You're going to need a bigger boat."

jaws clip: "You're going to need a bigger boat" - YouTube

It came to mind when I was reflecting on what tools I needed to support my recovery.

At present I'm focusing on getting better coping skills. I read that if bad/uncomfortable things happen and you don't have sufficient coping skills, you are likely to turn to alcohol/drugs to relieve the stress. I think that's very true for me, so, focusing on getting better coping skills for work related stress.

What tools do folks use in their 'recovery boat'?

I have found an amazing therapist. I see him once a week. My therapist specializes in addiction. I find it interesting that he is a big proponent of AA and has helped me return to AA.

I have found an AA home group I feel safe in and I attend once per week. I work my steps with my sponsor one to two times per week.

I am on SR daily, which is useful because for work I trace extensively and right now cannot do the above until I return to the US.

I am genuinely intrigued by this disease and the mind, os I am reading as much literature, medical and otherwise on addiction - the science the sociology and biology of it.

I am building a sober life with my wife and children. I am choosing and prefer to live my life sober. It is only recently that the appeal of a sober life is now greater than my life that involved drugs and alcohol.

My most important tools for recovery are a white flag (for surrender) and a jackhammer (for moral cleansing).

Years ago I heard "Don't drink and change your whole life" to be a tool I disliked in the first year or so but it ends up to be fairly accurate for many of us. After many years I still get to 4+ meetings a week because I still have a built in forgetter that remember whens will keep at bay just in case.

BE WELL

In my case, I needed bigger decision making tools. My old tools - logic, reason, diligence and tenacity just weren't working anymore. I can no longer directly manage my life anymore .

My new tools are spiritual principles that "attract" power into my life. I my not have any power myself, but when I put out an SOS call, aircraft carrier class boats come to my aid.

:abcj:

Improving life skills in general seems to be a common thread among those in recovery.

My tools: my Catholic faith and its spirituality; daily prayer and scripture reading; and some connection to recovery activity.

Hi,
When I wake up I lay there a minute thinking of my day, thanking my HP for my life today! I love going to my meetings because I just know I'll feel even better.
If someone needs something a ride, an ear to listen, I figure I can do that, geez.

I bring books to every meeting I go to. Been doing that almost as long as I've been sober. I just leave them on the table outside the meeting room. We have a lot of homeless people come to my meeting. It's a big turnover. I've always taken a book with me whenever I leave the house. So, early on I had an "ah ha" moment. Books can travel easily, and they bring happiness. I get my books, all used, via a secret fairy. Now, I'm known as Ms, Fields ( cause of the home baked treats I bring to my meetings), and the woman who brings the books. Being of service in this way( and other areas as well) , brings joy. I wouldn't be doing this if I were still using. :ring. Bobbi

I get a bit peeved with people who complain that people in AA aren't helping them, aren't available, can't get a sponsor etc. Like it's some kind of right and obligation that perfect strangers drop everything and fall all over them to help.

I am grateful to AA, but I'm aware that it's not the only recovery tool I need. If I rely too much on one thing, what happens if that thing is no longer available? I don't want all my eggs in one basket.

Exercise is probably my biggest one.

One of my most important tools is reframing or rewording thoughts in my mind. I listen to what I am saying to myself and do a reality check to see if that is accurate to the actual situation.

Like my brain says "I can't handle this"...so I reality check and reality is "I don't want to have to deal with this now."

My brain was in the habit of saying "I wish I was dead"...reality check "I wish I didn't feel this feeling."

My brain is used to doing all or nothing, black and white, high drama...and putting those spins on things wasn't doing me any good. Reality...well, makes it real. Gives me something I can actually address, and brings me back down to earth.

Ooooh that's really smart advice, Threshold.

I use the thought of having to endure those horrific three days of withdrawal as a major tool.
It's great to know that it's not a mandatory experience.
I also use peanuts.
I love peanuts.

i think my most important recovery tool these days is finally understanding i'm not in charge. thy will not mine. turning it over takes so much of my anxiety away. i pray every morning before i start the day. lately my short prayer - i give you my day, please lead the way, in his name i pray. amen

I can't say how useful learning about and looking into Schema Therapy was for me during my last stay in treatment.
For those that don't know, "schema" is based on the personality-formed-in-early-childhood model of psychotherapy (and I'm sure that's what they call it as well!) and is studied by having the patient answer a heap of questions and then assessing the answers according to the rules. I can't post links because my post count is too low, but it's all online. Look for the Young Schema Questionnaire and the Early Maladaptive Schemas list.

-If you want to do it, follow the link and answer the questions, then review your answer groups (which are separated in the questionnaire) and pick the three or four that contain the most Fives and Sixes (in real life it's a bit more complicated, but that's the general idea). Then make a note of the two-letter code associated with these answer groups and look them up on the Maladaptive Schema list.

It's tempting to read the schema descriptions and think "no s**t, I could have told them that" but, like accepting powerlessness, acknowledging the base impulses of your personality can be very liberating, in that you soon start noticing them come into play; and once you can see that, you can start to change it.

For instance, I scored very high in MA (Mistrust/Abuse) which means I, whether I like it or not, mistrust people because, subconsciously, I assume they are going to abuse my trust and me. Now that I know this, I can start to heal, because I can recognise the mistrust rear its head and question whether the awful feeling in the pit of my stomach is valid or not. My girlfriend scored huge in EM (Enmeshment) which was ruling her family life and gradually, without us realising, creeping into our life together (which is a short step to CoDependency) and we are working to fix that.

Give it a whirl.

I'm only 21 days sober but I have found a release in exercise. But.. The idea of a bigger boat appeals to me. :-)

Here are some of my tools. They've all worked for me in some time of need:

1) AA meetings
2) Talking to another alcoholic
3) Cigarettes
4) Ice cream
5) A psychiatrist (just starting to use that one)
6) Asking for help -- this has been a huge thing for me to learn
7) Allowing myself rest & relaxation -- see above
8) SR lots & lots
9) Brief meditation every day
10) Sex
11) Taking steps to build a fuller life with people and interests & values

Wish, I had the right words to say or a magic pill I could give you all to help you on your road to recovery.

I've seen so many people struggle through out the years on here and real life.
While I might not be able to give you a great source of wisdom with a definitive answer, most of the posts I read on here are painful reminders of what it was like for me.
I have a firm belief in a God. This belief has helped me stay sober for 5273 days.
I'm not telling you have to have faith in God. Maybe just maybe, you can find recovery without it.

Good list C2!

6) asking for help is something that I fought for a long time. Go to meetings, fine. Rely on God, fine. Do the steps, don't drink, get active, take care of myself, spiritual reading and growth - in early recovery I was committed. (still am and these are some of my tools!) But asking for help? Not really.

The reason I wanted to comment on this is because my inability to ask for help was a road block to the deeper work I had to do and very nearly led to relapse. I think a part of me still thought I needed to be in charge in some way and asking for help meant, to me at that time, that I was failing. Now I feel much differently about it.

The ability to ask for help is a show of courage and strength, even when we feel whipped. Especially when we feel whipped! Not asking for help was my disease, I think, trying in desperation to keep me insane. Almost worked too. Now I do ask for help, but not easily. Really encourage people to make it a bigger part of early recovery. I think it makes the foundation of recovery that much stronger. And then it can't bite you in the ass later like it did me!

It's in my boat now!

What tools? the 12 step program out of the book. Which is apart of recognizing my character defects and working on them.