DawnIsJustAGirl

You know I didn't expect it be easy at all, but I am finding it getting harder and harder as the days go by. Is that normal? It seemed like I was fine in the begining but now I find myself relaxing on the people I have around etc. I have to quit being friends with this one person because I know she will cause me to use again if I am around her. I don't know, I don't really care that much about her so it's not a big loss. Other than that I have been clean for 3 weeks I think. That is a long time for me anyways. I just really wanted to know if anyone else had that experience of it getting harder and harder as time goes by.

Dan

Hi Dawn,
The sooner you stop believing that anyone or anything has the power to make you use, the easier recovery becomes. The only person that can make you use is you. That's why we work a program of recovery. To fix us. That we become willing to go to any lengths to get clean means that we are first and foremost honest with ourselves.
It does get better Dawn. I hear from a lot of people that the 3-4 week period is a hard one for some reason. It was for me. We are feeling better physically, and we may be listening to that little voice inside our head a little too much.
Hang out with some clean people.
Catch some meetings.
Tell on yourself.

KelKel

Hi Dawn
Dan is right on the money$.
It is a huge adjustment for the mind, body and soul when a person decides to stop using whatever they are addicted to. It will pass and it will get better.
Please don't isolate, reach out to others and share. Keep coming to SR.

mackat

heh dawn
i looked for an NA meeting that had the kind of energy i had and the kind of recovery i wanted. helped me stay connected to others...
mackat

dotcom

hey dawn,

give it time dawn. it seems hopeless but you will rock on! time heals all wounds (or at least makes their scars a little less visible).

hugs,

dot

Gooch

There are definately periods we seem to go through rough spots.. Even after years of not using, some days, maybe some weeks can seem like it feels like it's just not working. Those are the days (and weeks) where having other addicts to share with can make all the difference in our being able to perservere through the tough times.

You just reminded me how I got through my 3rd week. And that reminds me that of how I got through my 3rd year. And this morning I was really let down by a family member, ( there I go putting expectations on others again) but your post reminded me that I'm only responsible for my side of the street, and I can't change them or make them clean up theirs.

Keep coming back Dawn.

Timebuster

Hi Dawn

I know how you feel. I was doing great and hanging in there until I hit 30 days. I call my first 30 days my smiley days. Smiling all day but dying inside. Once we stop using it dont stop there. Now its time to do the work. We have suppressed many feelings in our life with drugs. And these feelings are not going to go away by them selves. We have to take action and make choices if we want to continue the path to recovery. I need positive people around me. I need to be with the winners. I need to talk about how I feel. There is know better medicine then the ear of another recovery addict. Share, dump, scream, yell and if you need to cry. Get feedback take suggestion You will be surprised that each day it gets better and better. We have a lot to learn about our selves.. We the recovery addict are the most beautiful, humble and giving humans that I ever met. And know one but our selves can take that away from us.

God Bless
Timebuster

ButterflyChaser

Hi Dawn, don't worry, what you are going through is normal, just stay STRONG!! You can do it!! another thing, don't associate yourself w/people who you think would make you have the erge to use! ((((((((((((((Dawn))))))))))))))))))))

thrubeingcool

hey dawn.
i was a bit concerned myself when i finally quit for good at how easy it was. easier than it had been in the past anyway. i also now have an incredibly supportive husband, that helps.
but like you, i've found it's gotten harder with time. it's been two years for me, with two relapses in that time. i become very frustrated when i wake up some mornings wanting it back all over again. my old lifestyle and habits i mean. i can't understand why after all this time, the desire is still there.
this is the first time in my recovery that i've seeked help. i was so relieved to find this website. it's just the kind of thing i need. i've also set up counseling for myself. sounds like this is the place for you too.
keep it up. it's well worth the efforts.
KiM

namommy

Dawn,

Welcome to the recovering world. Some days we can just breeze through, and other days you just want to scream. That's what living life on life's terms is all about. Hang in there, things do get better once you have the tools. The only way to get the tools is to stay clean, go to meetings, stay clean, call your sponsor, stay clean, get a support group, stay clean, work and live the steps, and did I mention stay clean.

You hang in there, you are certainly on the right path just by posting how you feel.

Love ya

Laurie D

2stop

(((((((((((((Dawn)))))))))))))))
For me the pain I was growing, making progress actually, but as a die hard addict my old ways of thinking and perceiving my world dictated I stay close to the bottle..of pills, and medicate myself into oblivion. After 20 some years of popping moew pills than any human should even be aware of..I just about doped myselfd into a coffin, wanted to many times...as the withdrawals went on I wanted to die even more, what I didn't realize it was my old ways dying, noy my body or soul..I was awakening, and it hurt, was unfamiliar, petrifying..but using ws even more painful and frightening, the paaranoia, the psychotic breakdowns, the near physical death from end stage narcotic addiction... got really ugly for me, as it does most of us...but we make it. WANT it more than you NEED it. It WILL get easier, but for me it got really really tough even aftre stopping stopping using. Keep a support system around you, pray, commit to YOUR recovery, YOUR life...YOU desrve peace and happiness. It's yours for the taking. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Hang in there, okay? *Warm, Healing Hugs*

garyblanchard

Dawn,

Early recovery can be very rough. When you think about a child who is just learning to walk, every step takes tremendous physical and mental effort. Years later, you walk without even thinking about it.

Keep connected, keep focused, and keep workiing. It will get better as time goes on.

LnFRWngHrs_30

About two years ago I ran into a friend of mine--who use to be one of my old drinking and drugging buddies--I had been in recover for 2 years at that point. This friend went through the same rehab I did and took me there when it came time for me to enter treatment. She was clean and sober for about 90 days before she relapsed--the reason she went to the rehab was because her boyfriend at the time could not stand her drinking and drugging. We ended up hanging out that day--she began drinking in front of me, I had to make the decision to leave her to go her own path, and myself mine for the soul reason this is a matter of life or death for me as a person. As I told her I was going to go--she ended up getting very upset and how AA/NA had taken her friend away. I was not the person she had once known. I had to let her go, I only saw her one time after that and she never even spoke to me, and thats okay--I pray for her and thank her for the help she gave me to lead the life I live today. Difference between her and I--she didn't want recovery and even stated to me as such--I want recovery, and this is where we divided. I still love her and pray maybe one day she will make it back--I am not going to return to the pain that I once knew--just for today, 24 hours at a time, one day at a time...and that meant changing playmates, playthings as well as playground. Its growth, and sign that higher power is looking out for our best interests.