4 years and its getting hard
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 9
4 years and its getting hard
Hi all I'm new to these forums this August was my 4 years and it seems instead of getting easier it's getting harder. I haven't been working my program like I should but have reached out to my sponsor and am doing what I can. I wasn't sure where to introduce myself since I'm not new to recovery just to these forums if this is in the wrong place please move it or whatever needs to be done. I'm looking forward to having a support system again.
Amy
Amy
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: western ny
Posts: 19
second chance
to amy610:I'm new to this forum ,but caught this post.i ended alcohol 6 years ago and recently started again.the first few years were easy,i quit cold turkey but always wanted a drink at social events.i sort of white knuckled staying sober,but I did.then as job pressures,family,relationships got harder,i gave in to drinking.i'm now trying to stay sober with counseling.iv'e detoxed myself twice(which I don't recommend)since I've learned since that some bad things can happen.i like you am not new to recovery,but new to forums.talk to someone you trust about everything.i bared my soul in the last few weeks and it helped.i wish you well!!!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,368
Welcome Amy 
We don't run much on hierarchy here - you'd be welcome in the Newcomers forum if you wanted more response. There's a wide audience there from people with years of recovery, to brand new newcomers.
You could also try the Alcoholism forum.
I hope you'll find some ideas here - I know you'll find support - welcome
D
We don't run much on hierarchy here - you'd be welcome in the Newcomers forum if you wanted more response. There's a wide audience there from people with years of recovery, to brand new newcomers.
You could also try the Alcoholism forum.
I hope you'll find some ideas here - I know you'll find support - welcome
D
Laozi Old Man
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Detroit, MI
Posts: 6,665
Originally Posted by Amy610 
... I haven't been working my program like I should but have reached out to my sponsor...
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Hi Amy,
you mention having a sponsor so I am assuming you are an AA member and at 4 years have taken the steps. A common thing these days seems to be that many folk come to AA, find a sponsor, take some steps, but never get around to being a sponsor themselves.
I don't know if this is you or not, but if it is ,and you are not regularly working with newcomers, then you are missing the whole point of what AA is about.
It is true that originally I went to AA for help, found a sponsor, and took the steps, but somewhere in the process my thinking changed (don't they call that a spiritual awakening?) and I now attend AA to help, to see what I can contribute.
It seems AA doesn't offer very much in the form of human aid, only the knowledge that in order to stay happily sober myself, I must help others. But in so doing, I am rewarded immensely.
you mention having a sponsor so I am assuming you are an AA member and at 4 years have taken the steps. A common thing these days seems to be that many folk come to AA, find a sponsor, take some steps, but never get around to being a sponsor themselves.
I don't know if this is you or not, but if it is ,and you are not regularly working with newcomers, then you are missing the whole point of what AA is about.
It is true that originally I went to AA for help, found a sponsor, and took the steps, but somewhere in the process my thinking changed (don't they call that a spiritual awakening?) and I now attend AA to help, to see what I can contribute.
It seems AA doesn't offer very much in the form of human aid, only the knowledge that in order to stay happily sober myself, I must help others. But in so doing, I am rewarded immensely.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 9
Originally Posted by Gottalife
Hi Amy, you mention having a sponsor so I am assuming you are an AA member and at 4 years have taken the steps. A common thing these days seems to be that many folk come to AA, find a sponsor, take some steps, but never get around to being a sponsor themselves. I don't know if this is you or not, but if it is ,and you are not regularly working with newcomers, then you are missing the whole point of what AA is about. It is true that originally I went to AA for help, found a sponsor, and took the steps, but somewhere in the process my thinking changed (don't they call that a spiritual awakening?) and I now attend AA to help, to see what I can contribute. It seems AA doesn't offer very much in the form of human aid, only the knowledge that in order to stay happily sober myself, I must help others. But in so doing, I am rewarded immensely.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 350
Morning!
As a grateful recovery alcoholic father of three triplet girls (aged 9) I can relate to missing meetings because of the needs of kids -- mine were a high risk pregnancy, needed round the clock care when they came home (4# 3, 4# 9 and 4# 13) - I missed meetings for a long time -- kept sober, kept in phone contact with folks, even invited a group over for a meeting at home once..... Now that they are older, I'm back to meetings and loving it!
It's tough and scary and new territory, but hey, that is what our program teaches us! A daily reprieve based on a spiritual condition - not on meeting attendance, perfect sleep, no worries, etc -- but on our spiritual condition!
Once again I learned that I am stronger and more capable than I ever imagined..
Best of everything ....
As a grateful recovery alcoholic father of three triplet girls (aged 9) I can relate to missing meetings because of the needs of kids -- mine were a high risk pregnancy, needed round the clock care when they came home (4# 3, 4# 9 and 4# 13) - I missed meetings for a long time -- kept sober, kept in phone contact with folks, even invited a group over for a meeting at home once..... Now that they are older, I'm back to meetings and loving it!
It's tough and scary and new territory, but hey, that is what our program teaches us! A daily reprieve based on a spiritual condition - not on meeting attendance, perfect sleep, no worries, etc -- but on our spiritual condition!
Once again I learned that I am stronger and more capable than I ever imagined..
Best of everything ....
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Originally Posted by Amy610
Sorry if I don't reply correctly. I have sponsored and found it very rewarding and helped me and kept me focused. That changed when I faced an incredibly difficult pregnancy gave birth 2 months early and have so many people to work with for my baby. So attending meetings is hard let alone sponsoring. I am hoping to start attending meetings again once it's possible.
There is this saying 'Put AA first" often misinterpreted. What it really means is put AA principles first in all areas of your life. In the situation you describe it is obvious that your family and your baby need you and it is absolutely the right thing for you to focus all your attention there.
Some would have you believe that you ust be at meetings to stay sober, which can make a person feel a bit guilty when something important comes up that requires their time. But its not the meetings that keep us sober, it is staying connected to out Higher Power by living these principles in all our affairs.
Bill tells us that we will hit some low spots ahead and we need to be sure we are in fit spiritual condition if we want to survive them. By the sound of things, you have put in that ground work and, while you have been having a tough time lately, it will get better and you will be OK. And you will come back to AA with more experience and faith to share with the newcomer.
Having been through a few low spots myself, I can witness that each one has ultimately strengthened my faith. I am sure it will be the same for you.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
When brings us to a point where we are no longer able to attend many(or any) meetings, sponsor, etc, we can still move forward in recovery.
Don't underestimate the importance of this forum in the recovery of thousands of people, both through reading and posting. It is a very real way to work step 12. No post is a waste...it helps countless people who can identify with the feeling, and benefit from all the experience and wisdom shared in response to it. This place is sort of a 24/7 meeting, not specifically AA, but very real and healing.
So glad you joined our community! Congrats on your 4 yrs sober!
Don't underestimate the importance of this forum in the recovery of thousands of people, both through reading and posting. It is a very real way to work step 12. No post is a waste...it helps countless people who can identify with the feeling, and benefit from all the experience and wisdom shared in response to it. This place is sort of a 24/7 meeting, not specifically AA, but very real and healing.
So glad you joined our community! Congrats on your 4 yrs sober!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: CAIRO, EGYPT
Posts: 71
doing service
hi amy,
well firstly, great job, 4 yrs sober is a good stretch being sober, I was in exactly the same shoes, as i count more sober days, my job gets tougher, esepecially as i have worked the 12 steps, attended a lot of meetings,. i suggest that you take a service position in your homegroup, and also start taking on new sponsees, it is a great experience, we cannot keep what we have except by giving it away.
this is a cunning, baffling and progressive disease, so all the best.
from cairo,egypt
bob
well firstly, great job, 4 yrs sober is a good stretch being sober, I was in exactly the same shoes, as i count more sober days, my job gets tougher, esepecially as i have worked the 12 steps, attended a lot of meetings,. i suggest that you take a service position in your homegroup, and also start taking on new sponsees, it is a great experience, we cannot keep what we have except by giving it away.
this is a cunning, baffling and progressive disease, so all the best.
from cairo,egypt
bob
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 2
Hi Amy,
You answered your own question. You are not working ur program the way you used to. I actually loved early recovery when i was unemployable, i hit many meetings, Now life showed up. I do put myself on 90 in 90 some times, call 3 to 5 addicts a day, try to share where i am at. To keep plugged in is only way to make it liveable again.
You answered your own question. You are not working ur program the way you used to. I actually loved early recovery when i was unemployable, i hit many meetings, Now life showed up. I do put myself on 90 in 90 some times, call 3 to 5 addicts a day, try to share where i am at. To keep plugged in is only way to make it liveable again.
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