Does drinking/drugging really stunt maturity?
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 1,254
Originally Posted by bitmap 
My understanding is yes this is true...I originally started drinking at 13, but was sober from 18 until my early 40s...however sometimes I still feel like I am acting 13...
Many say the true test in life is how one handles defeat and failure and not overly lofty goals. The talking heads seem to harp on coping skills. The immature one here is hanging on to dreams, goals and behaviors a teenager would normally have. The axiom young at heart does not apply here.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Location: Boston, Mass
Posts: 1,004
Great question YoungAndClean! I definitely feel like I have a lot of growing (up?) to do. This is one of my big reasons for getting sober. In the past 10 years I have done very little to improve myself or to progress in life. I'm now 41 and still in pretty much the same place I was at 30.
People always think I'm younger than I am. I do look young, but I'm beginning to see that maybe the way I act reinforces that. I have my moments, mind you, but all in all I AM pretty immature.
Going to keep an eye on this thread, it's something I've thought about too.
People always think I'm younger than I am. I do look young, but I'm beginning to see that maybe the way I act reinforces that. I have my moments, mind you, but all in all I AM pretty immature.
Going to keep an eye on this thread, it's something I've thought about too.
New Life Sober
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: Noblesville, IN
Posts: 777
Drinking alcohol does not automatically make an individual mature or immature. It depends on an amount of consuming. If you drink to the point you can't stand up and form a total fool of yourself, you're almost certainly not all that mature. But, if you drink alcohol maturely and in control then it doesn't compose your immature. In the same way, say no to drinking doesn't indicate that you are mechanically grown-up, or mechanically immature. If you want to drink Alcohol/or Drugs because you like how it makes you feel then you're very immature. If you make an informed decision to refrain from alcohol based on truthful information, then yes, you're probably quite mature.
I thought it was cool how it makes me feel, until I started to drink a lot more then I couldnt handle, my daughter recorded me, I would look at all my text that i text people, and it almost destroyed my family. So my decision was to quit drinking period and I feel matured about my decision to change how my life was.
I thought it was cool how it makes me feel, until I started to drink a lot more then I couldnt handle, my daughter recorded me, I would look at all my text that i text people, and it almost destroyed my family. So my decision was to quit drinking period and I feel matured about my decision to change how my life was.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 6,666
Same here, gonna follow the answers as it it something I've been thinking about.
Alcohol does play havoc with your emotions and a lot of us started out young.
And ended up drinking a lot and often. I would say its a yes probably?
http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net...77594_700b.jpg
Alcohol does play havoc with your emotions and a lot of us started out young.
And ended up drinking a lot and often. I would say its a yes probably?
http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net...77594_700b.jpg
Member
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 296
Who knows. I have heard that in AA rooms all around the world, from the 1975 to now!
I hear many falsehoods in AA rooms. I choose to disregard falsehoods and stick to facts!
Many times, I have to leave the room and go for a 10 minute "bathroom break" for some of the stuff people spew in the rooms.
I hear many falsehoods in AA rooms. I choose to disregard falsehoods and stick to facts!
Many times, I have to leave the room and go for a 10 minute "bathroom break" for some of the stuff people spew in the rooms.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: Seattle, Washington
Posts: 149
As you wrote macomago >>> "Like many things, there is no one size fits all, the answer is contingent on many factors. For me the factor behind my maturity, or lack of it was my family and upbringing. Alcohol was but a symptom. "<<<
The question is rather ambiguous, due to one size doesn't fit all.
Yes, drinking and drugging are symptoms, just as non-substance addictive behavior, e.g. gambling. Many a non-addict has or has had mental / emotional issues due to their upbringing. Some attend Al-Anon and / or ACoA and take the same 12 steps as AA's and NA's etc., for their recovery
The question is rather ambiguous, due to one size doesn't fit all.
Yes, drinking and drugging are symptoms, just as non-substance addictive behavior, e.g. gambling. Many a non-addict has or has had mental / emotional issues due to their upbringing. Some attend Al-Anon and / or ACoA and take the same 12 steps as AA's and NA's etc., for their recovery
Member
Join Date: Jan 2015
Location: Indiana
Posts: 503
10000000% ABSOLUTELY!!
My son topped maturing in many ways back in high school. He's 25, well-educated, and has a lot of good things going for him. But, maturity?? No. We contend that he is always at least 5 years behind his peers. I'm sure a lot of it was alcohol and pot, coupled with enabling. His counselors now address this in his IOP and they are spot on.
My son topped maturing in many ways back in high school. He's 25, well-educated, and has a lot of good things going for him. But, maturity?? No. We contend that he is always at least 5 years behind his peers. I'm sure a lot of it was alcohol and pot, coupled with enabling. His counselors now address this in his IOP and they are spot on.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: San Pedro, CA
Posts: 24
I can only speak for myself but yeah I would say the ten years of heavy pot smoking and drinking was a huge waste of time and I don't think I did much growing emotionally in that time... of course there were other factors...I worked in the family business and looking back I can see the enabling/codependent/manipulating that was going on.
Not blaming my family, it was my choice to stay in that situation.
Not blaming my family, it was my choice to stay in that situation.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
Main drinking got started around 13. Stopped drinking at 22. To say I had the emotional maturity of a 13 year old would be an insult to 13 year olds. Zero emotional intelligence, not a lot happening in the intellect department, and a head full of crazy ideas, bigotry and ignorance. Malnutrition, legs and arms like matchsticks.
Mmmmm. Spiritual, mental, physical illness? That about covers it.
Mmmmm. Spiritual, mental, physical illness? That about covers it.
Redmayne
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Manchester, England, UK.
Posts: 1,543
The inner citadel of the soul...
In my 30 year drinking history, followed by what is now over 7 years sobriety. Appreciating was what some refer to as a 'high functioning alcoholic', enhanced by, setting my drinking aside, I twice lost everything, except my son and my ability caused by the self centered, irresponsible actions of others, in my personal and professional life.
Which caused me immeasurable pain and suffering, the benefit being, even when still drinking, I learned to change my perspective on many things, including myself. I'd firmly endorse the view that drinking stunts emotional growth.
In recovery, landmarks for me in the return of emotional growth, started a couple of years ago when I recognized and accepted that we all, at any one point in our lives, exist in our state of minds.
Wherein, as I learned recently, through reading the Introduction by Stephen J. Costello, Ph. D. of Patrick Usher's book,'Stoicism Today:Selected Writings' dwells the inner citadel of the soul, described thus...
'In the end, nothing can really touch the soul, our inner citadel. Much is within our power and province. And the rest? The rest belongs to God. It is His business not ours.'
Reading this provided a great leap forward for me in my emotional growth providing refuge, healing and strength against all external elements, both past,present and future...giving me a feeling so long absent in my life, both practically, physically and emotionally, that at last I was home in the inner citadel of my soul, where no external influences, whatever their nature can enter...
Providing the emotional growth that was both lacking and stunted in my drinking days.
Which caused me immeasurable pain and suffering, the benefit being, even when still drinking, I learned to change my perspective on many things, including myself. I'd firmly endorse the view that drinking stunts emotional growth.
In recovery, landmarks for me in the return of emotional growth, started a couple of years ago when I recognized and accepted that we all, at any one point in our lives, exist in our state of minds.
Wherein, as I learned recently, through reading the Introduction by Stephen J. Costello, Ph. D. of Patrick Usher's book,'Stoicism Today:Selected Writings' dwells the inner citadel of the soul, described thus...
'In the end, nothing can really touch the soul, our inner citadel. Much is within our power and province. And the rest? The rest belongs to God. It is His business not ours.'
Reading this provided a great leap forward for me in my emotional growth providing refuge, healing and strength against all external elements, both past,present and future...giving me a feeling so long absent in my life, both practically, physically and emotionally, that at last I was home in the inner citadel of my soul, where no external influences, whatever their nature can enter...
Providing the emotional growth that was both lacking and stunted in my drinking days.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 347
28 years old myself. just got 4 years last month. i would say it did stunt my growth. i started drinking at 13 and smoiking weed at 14. the amount ive grown in the last 4 years is easily 3 or 4 times what i grew while using. i may have even regressed in some areas.
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