Recovery without the Steps
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 13
im not sure about AA. Though I see it works for many, like faith in the Bible gives some people hope. I have done very well with how I got sober. I started reading Eckhart Tolle, Mark Nepo, Marianne Williamson, Gary Zukov, Deepak Chopra, too many to list 5 years ago. The alcohol was more of a symptom of my need to disconnect and escape. Once I got in touch with that and the realization of what I was missing out on, the desire to drink dissipated. It is like a bad marriage, I was glad to let it go and get to living life. I now focus on what I love about life, all the wonderful experiences I have waiting for me. Seeing the flowers bloom in the spring, sitting under a large shade tree in the summer, hiking around waterfalls, walking in a beautiful snow storm, playing a round of golf. Just so many great things I can do with my time and energy. I put booze in the same category as my ex-husband. I fully accept that I made the choice to bring them into my life and made the choice to take them out. Been there, done that. I am here so obviously I think it is important to never forget what I've been through.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 200
Originally Posted by Mentium 
Thank you all for your comments. I am still of the view that AA has the tendency to view addicts as having 'done wrong'. I do agree that an inspection of one's character and personality - an inventory if you like - to explore why one might be prone to addiction is an excellent idea and one I will be pursuing via one or more of the links kindly suggested above.
My local AA group is very relaxed in terms of outlook and I think it will be possible to use Step 4 in this sort of way. Thanks again all.
My local AA group is very relaxed in terms of outlook and I think it will be possible to use Step 4 in this sort of way. Thanks again all.
My experience and many other recovered alcoholics exeperiences is that ALL 12 steps work.
The 4 steps gets rid of some fear, resentments, and takes a look at harms done.
The 4 step is not intended for us to beat ourselves up, and removing our shortcoming is best for our recover. Just do it.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Some 12 step literature likens the step 4 inventory to a store's inventory. It's not about right and wrong...the store takes inventory to see what it has on the shelves.
They can use the numbers/results to determine what's selling, what isn't, whether there is theft in a particular area, where things have come up missing, where there is a puzzling excess...and then make good decisions based on that info and balance the books...
Step 4...is pretty much the same thing. Some people do seem to use it essentially to dig up dirt on themselves, but in the programs I did...it was just an inventory, information I could use to move forward smarter, and take care of any debts and losses...freeing me to truly move forward.
I uncovered good stuff too! Biggest thing I learned was that reality/honesty are my friends NOT the enemy, NOT something I had to obsessively run from.
While in active addiction, I thought sobriety meant putting a big huge, red NO sign over my life, now I realize it is saying YES to life.
Instead of hiding my shortcoming, making the most of my talents, strengths etc.
They can use the numbers/results to determine what's selling, what isn't, whether there is theft in a particular area, where things have come up missing, where there is a puzzling excess...and then make good decisions based on that info and balance the books...
Step 4...is pretty much the same thing. Some people do seem to use it essentially to dig up dirt on themselves, but in the programs I did...it was just an inventory, information I could use to move forward smarter, and take care of any debts and losses...freeing me to truly move forward.
I uncovered good stuff too! Biggest thing I learned was that reality/honesty are my friends NOT the enemy, NOT something I had to obsessively run from.
While in active addiction, I thought sobriety meant putting a big huge, red NO sign over my life, now I realize it is saying YES to life.
Instead of hiding my shortcoming, making the most of my talents, strengths etc.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Central Massachusetts
Posts: 2,051
If you believe that a spiritual malady underlies all your problems then the 12 steps are very useful. If you just want to stay abstinent then a whole bunch of other approaches are probably sufficient.
Recovered
Join Date: Jun 2009
Posts: 1,129
I did the "sober by association" method, as I call it, and had almost 5 years of clean-time.
BUT I have a physical, mental, and spiritual malady. Alas, the day came when I drank again. Until I worked the suggested program, I was just hitting the social hour at the local AA hall, hoping to glean a tenacious hold on something that I could not get by meetings alone. There are also two fellowships WITHIN AA. I became happy, joyous, and free when I joined the "fellowship of the SPIRIT" (page 164 BB), that I obtained by having a spiritual awakening as the result of working the steps.
BUT I have a physical, mental, and spiritual malady. Alas, the day came when I drank again. Until I worked the suggested program, I was just hitting the social hour at the local AA hall, hoping to glean a tenacious hold on something that I could not get by meetings alone. There are also two fellowships WITHIN AA. I became happy, joyous, and free when I joined the "fellowship of the SPIRIT" (page 164 BB), that I obtained by having a spiritual awakening as the result of working the steps.
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