Fishy

I am only day 3 but I really want to recover this time and will do whatever I possibly can do to do this. I guess I just need confirmation that I am not the only person needing to make changes in my life. I don't want to seem daft if I make these changes and still fail.

I was wondering what big and small lifestyle changes did others do for their life for recovery? How long did it take you to do it? How many days sober did you do it?

jaynie04

I cleaned. Not in a "rip the room apart" way that I would have in the past. But a drawer at a time. It gave me a good feeling to finish something. But I also really tried to pay attention to the way I was feeling, if I started to feel overwhelmed I left the project alone.

Overdoing was part of the reason I used to turn to alcohol. I would go and go to a point I was depleted and alcohol would be what I would "reward" myself with.

I have 62 days today. I think cleaning a drawer at a time was a good parallel for a day at a time. Before I knew it I would have a whole cabinet cleaned out....

Congratulations on 3 days!!!

Boleo

I tried for years to put a patch on my old life but failed miserably. Finally, I traded in my old cloths for a whole new wardrobe.

alphaomega

I had to put myself first. Something I was absolutely not used to. I thought I was responsible for cleaning up everyone's messes. Emotional, relationships, financial. I felt guilty if I didn't make someone's life easier. The guilt cause the shame. The shame caused the drinking.

So I realized that I was killing myself trying to do this. The only way I could continue in the manner everyone had been acostomed to was to drink myself into oblivion. Because I was so miserable. But then, slowly I let these other people take responsibility for their actions and choices. I was taking their life lessons from them !!!

It's still a work in progress as I'm chartering new courses. But I've realized , I'm all I've got.

Threshold

I made the decision to not do anything destructive. Even if that meant doing nothing at times, at least I was not losing ground.

Kept my mind busy. Recovery forum. Recovery books. Meetings. Listen to audio books while doing household chores...fill my time and mind with new ideas. Clean house...literally and figuratively. Even of relationships that were clogs rather than mutually beneficial.

I have noticed a tendency in my culture that encourages us to maintain relationships at all costs, as if it is some noble act that proves maturity. I found that "nurturing" purposeless relationships (of ALL types) was a waste of my emotional resources. This meant opting out of junk mail, cleaning out my "contacts" list on my email. Unsubscribing from various email newsletters, sales pitches etc. I was amazed at how much that tedious junk was draining me.

I put a moratorium on buying things. Anything that was not consumable I stopped purchasing. So, food, books, music, clothing (unless it wasn't needed) were ok. But just saying "ooo, isn't that cute, clever blah blah" was no longer a valid reason. Got rid of all my clothes that didn't fit or that I didn't wear.

Got something to take care of. A plant, goldfish etc. Something that requires a little bit of selfless responsibility.

Praying/meditating/inspirational reading...taking time each day to inject thought, energy, time to the care of a positive part of my brain. Strengthen THAT "muscle". I found some neat guided meditations on youtube. I started learning about the meaning of Tarot cards, not as fortune telling tools, but the symbolic meanings, the stories in the cards that relate to situations in life.
Found a bunch of online sites that have activities, practices etc that encourage me to new ways of viewing and addressing life.

Asked around, used Pandora, etc and got into some new music.

I guess it essentially boils down to, cutting the junk out of my life, and finding new ideas and practices to fill it with. Heck, the old way wasn't working, so I tried new things...with the condition that they be positive things.

seahorse661

The thing that helped me most was to get up 30 minutes earlier and spend that time drinking a cup of tea and either reading something recovery-related, journalling my thoughts and plans for the day or even just sitting in the garden listening to the birds waking up. It was time for me, before the frenzy of the morning started.
My days started and continued more positively!
I became more selfish in some ways - stopped visiting friends just because I felt obligated to, stopped doing the chores that my daughter should have been doing. That way, I ceased adding to the resentful, self-pitying thoughts that always seemed to fuel my desire to drink

LadyBlue0527

I planned ahead of time for what I knew to be my toughest times. This would be Friday and Saturday nights. I've been to the movies more in the past 90 days then I have in the past 10 years. Saturday night is my night with my sponsor so I knew for sure I wasn't going to drink then!

Keeping your mind busy is key.

doggonecarl

I didn't got to any activity that featured alcohol as a primary element: office get-togethers, company parties, holiday-themed parties and cookouts.

Didn't go to bars, didn't hang out with drinking "buddies" at all.

How long did it take? As long as it took. I didn't go to a live concert until I was sober 2 and a half years. I haven't been to a bar in almost three years and don't miss it.

That's what I didn't do. What I did was I joined a church. I also made SR one of recovery focal points. I work my recovery daily.

hellomynameis

I have tried in the past to quit and really wasn't motivated to get past this uncomfortable part I am in right now - Day 8 sober -
I started going to NA meetings and that has made all the difference to me

I have started COOKING for myself and trying really hard not to obsess over the little things although this has been really hard to do because I didn't care that stuff didn't get done when I was using

I think the number one thing I noticed as I am coming closer to my second weekend sober is that I need to stay busy but I also need to listen to my body

Stress and tired feelings are a big big trigger for me and so I am working to ID when those things are coming on before they knock me over

I used when I was Hungry Angry Lonely or Tired (HALY) and that was become always!~

bigsombrero

Basically, early recovery is a time to keep things simple. Stay Off The Booze. Don't take on anything too complicated.

However, a lifestyle makeover is eventually in order, and you can start by changing your routine and start forming new habits. Very basic stuff. For example, alcoholics who were social drinkers and party-hearty should probably practice staying at home and enjoying alone time. On the other hand, isolated drinkers should probably try and leave the house and stay active.

I started out as the former, but ended up as the latter. I knew that isolation was bad for me, but I didn't know how to socialize without alcohol, either. So I bought an old-fashioned wall calendar and hung it in the middle of my kitchen. I would make sure and write down everything I did that day, even the LITTLE things. Because LITTLE THINGS are important. "Went to cafe, grocery store, park, and rented movie" - simple stuff like that. I never used it as a "TO DO" list - but rather as a "WHAT I DID" list. It was a nice, easy, visible way to actually see progress.

Keep it simple.

alphaomega

I ask learned how to say no thank you. And if that wasn't received, say NO.

An example of this : I'm an actor and have been studying for a role that I really wanted for a while. I had every intention of auditioning this week, a few months ago.

I realized I can not take on the additional stress right now despite my friends thinking it would be best for my recovery. I finally said - I CAN'T RIGHT NOW. I JUST CAN'T. I'm too fragile and need to focus all my energy solely on recovery.

It felt good to be true to myself and accept my current reality. Which is just NO.

UnixBer

Here's a little list:
* started watching movies / some tv-series
* started reading books, paid visits to library
* started a solid physical exercise routine (one of the best changes)
* avoided bars and all nightlife related to alcohol
* avoided drinking buddies as well as possible
* paid attention to diet and nutrition, added some vitamin etc. supplements, green tea, garlic...
* connected to friends online (not the drinking kind) <- this has been kind of helpful.
* started learning to live in a more relaxed manner, not to worry or stress about things. (as it doesn't do anything good).
* videogames and game-development (programming, design, graphics excluding audio) according to mood... and all kinds of things that come to mind.

And those little things are indeed propably the most important. Such as cleaning and feeling good about task done.

mecanix

i never was a big goer out or having friends round person .. So i just have more time for hobbies like music , being with my family , reading , work ..

my one big lifestyle change i took up after 3 months or so sober was coming to SR and trying to ring out the freedom bell for others

Bestwishes , m

Boleo

I had to learn a lot about boundary's for when I went out and meditation for when I stayed in.

LadyinBC

Definately agree with this and that is what I did in the beginning. My goal was simply to stay away from the booze and go to daytox. In a way I was lucky as I was on stress leave at the time and only had to concentrate on that.

Around 3 - 4 months I also decided that I wasn't going to go back to my job. It was a high stressed one and I just knew deep down that I would probably use it as an excuse to drink again. And I just hated it anyways.

I also ended up moving in with my daughter and her husband as I was scared to be by myself. I was a by myself drinker. It was a win win for both of us, less bills to pay for both parties. Of cousre they had conditions and the big one was no drinking and if I did, I was out.

I also stayed away from parties and pubs as sometimes my drinking would start there and I would end up drinking even more when I got home.

I still try to keep things simple even today. No sense stressing myself out by complicating everything. Something I am good at!

LadyinBC

This is also what I did. Got myself a kobo and ended up downloading tons of books written by alcoholics. It was a godsent I tell you. Finally, something I could relate to.

I wish I would have found this site when I first quit, I think it would have helped me a lot. I didn't find SR until I was about 5 months sober.

Ngokpa

I've made a lot of changes, but not all at once. At first I just did whatever it took to stay sober, which meant going to a lot of meetings, and treating places that had alcohol as if they were radioactive.

When I got some work and couldn't go to as many meetings, I said the Serenity Prayer a lot. I couldn't relate to theology all that well; but that was better than the thoughts I would be having otherwise.

I also tried to eat reasonably healthy without getting too crazy about it. I think sugar can be a problem, but there were a few times when having a candy bar cut through an intense desire to drink.

Eventually, I got involved with service--running meetings. There were times when I wanted to drink but decided I couldn't because I had a meeting to run.

Of course I thought a lot of this was crazy, but often that drinking wasn't. It took a while to get my priorities straight.

cleaninLI

Recovery for me has meant a complete lifestyle overhaul.

The first thing I did was take some personal leave from work. My job and stresses that came with it were a huge trigger from me. I know not everyone is able to do this. I am fortunate to be in a situation where I am not the sole supporter of my family.

Another thing a did was spend more time with my kids in a stay- at-home-mom sort of way. Cooking nutritious dinners, playing games with them, taking them to parks/beaches, reading books to them and just being involved in their day to activities. While I was using I did the bare minimum and did not take time to really enjoy and get to know my kids. In the past, most of what I did for or with them was out of obligation. I was doing what was expected of me to fill my role as "mom". Now I do those things because a want to and enjoy my role as "mom".

Another thing I did was to keep my life simple. As the op mentioned cleaning out 1 drawer at a time. I did the same. .(mine as well as my kids) I got rid of all clothes I either never wore or that no longer fit. I reorganized my house as well as my life. I've gotten back to living a simpler sort of life. I started taking a daily walk or bicycle ride whether in my neighborhood, at the park or along the beach. Also, I have been taking the time to really appreciate the beauty of the world around me. I go outside and absorb, using all senses, my surroundings.

I am shopping less, paying closer attention to sales and coupons. I used to think nothing of a picking up a Starbucks coffee or a bottle of soda while rushing to work. Now, I take the time to make coffee at home or put soda in a thermos to take with me on the go. I also hand wash my car at home rather than driving through a car wash. Basically, I'm wasting less and taking better care of the things a do own.

I've have also become much more spiritual. Im taking time to meditate and give thanks for the things I'm grateful for.

Hyu12

Hi, Good for you to make it to day 3. I am on day 6. I recently started running after work. Its kind of hard to run and drink at the same time. best wishes to you.

Fishy

I am now day 8 and still going strong.