Fallenangel2013

Hi ,
Today I'm struggling with my hangover from alcohol.
I have been sober the past year after many blackout episodes , people hurt and life of regret .
I went out with some colleagues from my career path and started drinking again !!! I had over 5 pints of beer and I'm totally hating myself right now .
Although I didn't get black out drunk or make a show of myself I feel riddled with guilt and very depressed for drinking. I'm ashamed of myself for being weak and indulging in alcohol.

The reasoning behind my relapse was severe anxiety / panick attacks . I have been plagued with these and depression for the past 7 years now. I recently graduated from postgraduate degree and managed to stay sober for the entire year.

Right now I could really do with some advice and support , I can't talk to my family as I feel so ashamed of myself

pinkdog

Dear angel, don't beat yourself up. You stayed sober for one year. That is awesome. You know how to stay sober, start back up. You will feel better. Have you ever tried "urge surfing" you might want to google it. I use this method to handle anxiety. I don't have panic attacks anymore. And/or a trip to the dr to address the depression. You can do this. Very best to you.

Fallenangel2013

Thanks for your prompt reply .
I have never tried urge surfing but will most definitely give it a go. I am on meds for depression.
My problem today is this guilt and shame I feel like I can't look at myself in the mirror I really hate myself right now for drinking and can't shake the feeling at all.
You are right in that I can start back up again.

mecanix

Hello and welcome fallenangel ,

Aint no shame in getting back up .. staying down is the problem .. hope to see you round on the forums .

Bestwishes, m

Boleo

FallenA;

Could you define "Path Less Choosen" for me?

13unluckyforsom

Don't be a hater - as long as you get up again and start again then you have no need to beat yourself up. You are disappointed in yourself which is ok but just look at the good you have done. it WELL outnumbers one wee slip up and you know in yourself it was just a mistake and that's just human nature - go and do something positive and just kick that guilt because it will drag you down if you let it. You had a slip up - so what! Just please don't let it consume you. You've been doing amazing and the fact you came on here and shared this means that you have the backbone and strength for one more day. One day at a time.

ando68

Hi FA,
Sorry to hear about the relapse you had but good to see you posting about it. As the previous posters said, " no good comes from beating ourselves up ". I hope you can turn this into a positive learning experience for yourself and move forward with a renewed attitude . I wish you well and hope to see you around.
Ando.

Fallenangel2013

Thanks to everyone for the possitive messages it really helps a lot .

"The path less chosen"- is my adaptation of The road not taken by Robert Frost.

13unluckyforsom

Hope your feeling better about things today

Fallenangel2013

I'm feeling a lot better and getting on with my research for university thanks to everyone for the support

AlefVavResh

Shame. I know it well. We all do. Keep reading and posting at SR. It is a great community. Welcome.

Fallenangel2013

Thank you everyone