hankfrank

I realize now that it's the double whammy of alcohol and internet porn that really did me in about ten years ago. It was always the same pattern...tough week so I deserve some me time...oh wife went to bed...Great! Open a bottle of wine (sometimes vodka!) and off we go into fantasy land...Then wake up super groggy and can't function well with the family...What the XXX? Why is it so hard to break this habit...I guess because my brain is wired now to crave this (and I hate it). I haven't hit rock bottom (no DUI, loss jobs, etc) but why should I wait until I do. I'd love to be able to think that I can drink in moderation (and sometimes I do have a stretch where I do) but I always fail and go over the edge. I just need to believe in myself and start a new road...I'm better than this and I hate the shame and guilt of having to hide this from everyone around me. I tried going to AA but I didn't like it.

I'm looking forward to reading everyone's stories here for the inspiration I need.