Restless1

I slip sometimes and it feels awful to have to lie. No way would I take white chip and be humiliated . So I don't take any chips. I guess total abstinence should be goal but I like mental vacation every month and careful. Any other secret slippers out there ?

Dee74

I'm not in AA but I think it's about way more than the white chips Restless.

As long as I was up for 'secret vacations' I was still feeding my demon and keeping myself in the cycle - and then my shame (and my pride) stopped me from reaching out. I was doubly screwed.

don't you see it that way too?

D

Restless1

I don't know this topic took off in thread slips and white chips though, but slips were not that fun and had a helpful side to them that remind me its not all that fun anyway to drink then feel sick later.

wiscsober

No...honesty and complete abstinence....living life of continuous sobriety.

tomsteve

im not very smart, but it seems that if I were to be starting a thread about these "secret slips" it wouldn't be a secret.

the only person I was ever foolin about drinkin was the man in the mirror.

mfanch

"Sober" is more than abstinence for me. It's about emotional sobriety, too.....integrity. I can't have physical sobriety without mental sobriety, which I don't have without a spiritual solution.

I don't even THINK about drinking anymore. My problem has been removed. How? Taking the 12 steps with a sponsor. I highly recommend it.

Db1105

I'm either getting sober or getting drunk. Planning a chemical mental vacation is not getting sober for me. It's either all or nothing.

breath

Numbers don't lie, statistically your goal is impossible. Sobriety is a better and cheaper alternative for me; financially and socially. Why not get some fellowship is Sobriety and give it a try?

Take care.

Threshold

No one around me cared if I was drinking, so I didn't have to do it in secret...but I did learn that the only one I cheated was myself.

That was a stage of denial for me, telling myself that it was fine if I kept drinking. I didn't care about chips, or letting anyone else down. I can lie to everyone else, but if I'm not honest with myself, things aren't going to get better in my life, because I'm not committed to change.

And I have to keep telling myself this daily, because it's not just about slipping drinks now and then, there are so many ways that I lie to myself or say "just this once" or "this time it's different" and "it's no big deal" and then i keep getting the same returns on my crap investment.

whosetoblame

you didn't slip, you moderated your drinking. Slips are for someone who has quit.

DrSober

Why would someone go to an AA meeting (or any meeting where abstinence is the requirement for attendance, like Lifering) and have moderation as a goal? There are Moderation Management meetings out there and online. Doesn't make sense.

I am in this for 100% sobriety. I decided before I got sober that I wasn't going to do this half-assed. If I'm here to be abstinent / sober, that's what I'm going to do.

deeker

whoops double post

deeker

Not gonna lie I have played that game before in the past but the time between mental vacations got close and closer till I was drinking every day in a very short time. But sometimes we have to hit our own final bottom and I am not gonna judge anyone. When they are ready they are ready.

It's not my life but I hope you don't face serious consequences for your choices. Then again those consequences may be the very thing that helps you in making a decision instead of just playing with the idea. God Bless!

Jsober

I agree with DB. It's all or nothing. Sobriety is living on life's terms without chemicals. Ask yourself, what am I escaping from? Really think about it. Try to just sit with it without escaping it. You will see that it will pass on its own in its own, in its own time without chemicals. You will grow from facing it and coming out on the otherside. Repeat and continue to grow.

hypochondriac

I don't know what to say except go all after school special and say 'you're only cheating yourself'... Taking a 'mental vacation' is just staying in the same pattern of behaviour and isn't really moving forward. What are the reasons you quit in the first place? If all your problems are fixed by just drinking once a month then what's the problem, why do you have to be secret about it? If you have any guilt related to drinking once a month then maybe there is a reason for that. What do you have to loose if you loose your sobriety?

LadyinBC

I am either all in or all out. I can't just take a day "off" and drink because for me, it will last days. I can't even secret drink, I live with my daughter and her husband and they would kick me out if I did. That is their tough love to me and one of the conditions when I moved in with them.

I needed to be accountable to someone and if I lived by myself, I am not really not accountable to anyone.

So far this has worked for me and has taught me that it is not all about me all the time.

MsJax

I have no more slips left in me. The last one lasted over 4 years. Continuous sobriety only for me.

zbear23

Congratulations on your one year anniversary. It's a big deal: most of us never attain one year of continuous sobriety. And I suspect your focus on accountability has been crucial: it certainly was for me. You see, I like to lie to myself and excuse myself for violating my principles.
I've made myself accountable to people, like a sponsor, who I can trust to have my best interests at heart and who won't hesitate to be honest with me. It's may be an inside job, but thank God for outside help.

Alraihani

Secret slips? That's like im not trying to kill myself anymore but i like to cut my thighs once a month.

fini

Why would someone go to an AA meeting (or any meeting where abstinence is the requirement for attendance, like Lifering)

oh, but that's not so. abstinence is not a requirement for attendance at either LR or AA; a desire to quit drinking is.