Is having one drink and then stopping a relapse or cause for celebration?
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 7,097
For me it would be a relapse. I've done it a few times. Just had a couple and though hey I can do this. the next night it was 3 or 4,then a bottle then more till I was back drinking at least a bottle a night. It just creeps up. There is no 'cure' other than abstinence for me anyway
Life the gift of recovery!
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Home is where the heart is
Posts: 7,061
Judging by my past history it would not be cause for celebration at all.
My history was that I would get to a point in my drinking where my life was spinning out of control or something bad would happen so I would swear off alcohol. I would then quit for a period of time, once for a year.
After a while I would decide it was safe to try and drink again because I could not possibly be an alcoholic if I could quit drinking like that for a while, right? At least that is what I would tell myself. So I would say to myself "ok, you can have a drink but just one". So I would have just one. Then maybe do that again but eventually my mind would say "well you have done just fine with one drink so there is no reason you can't have two." So two it would be and for a few times two would be ok. But eventually my mind would say "well you have done fine with two so why not three because often people have three drinks at a party, a bar, or at dinner, right? Plus I can't be an alcoholic because I was able to drink just one or two." So I would try the three drink thing. I might even be successful for a time or two at just drinking three but somehow it would develop into that same uncontrolled drinking that I had before stopping for that period of time. Which in turn would lead right back to bad things happening in my life as a result of my drinking.
It took me many years of trying that experiment before realizing that I just can not drink, not even one because one always eventually leads to more and more leads to self destruction. For me drinking one lead to wanting two which led to wanting three which led to wanting more and more. There is an obsession that starts when I put alcohol in my body. Having proved to myself over and over that the obsession is real is enough proof for me that I do not need to try the just one drink experiment again.
My history was that I would get to a point in my drinking where my life was spinning out of control or something bad would happen so I would swear off alcohol. I would then quit for a period of time, once for a year.
After a while I would decide it was safe to try and drink again because I could not possibly be an alcoholic if I could quit drinking like that for a while, right? At least that is what I would tell myself. So I would say to myself "ok, you can have a drink but just one". So I would have just one. Then maybe do that again but eventually my mind would say "well you have done just fine with one drink so there is no reason you can't have two." So two it would be and for a few times two would be ok. But eventually my mind would say "well you have done fine with two so why not three because often people have three drinks at a party, a bar, or at dinner, right? Plus I can't be an alcoholic because I was able to drink just one or two." So I would try the three drink thing. I might even be successful for a time or two at just drinking three but somehow it would develop into that same uncontrolled drinking that I had before stopping for that period of time. Which in turn would lead right back to bad things happening in my life as a result of my drinking.
It took me many years of trying that experiment before realizing that I just can not drink, not even one because one always eventually leads to more and more leads to self destruction. For me drinking one lead to wanting two which led to wanting three which led to wanting more and more. There is an obsession that starts when I put alcohol in my body. Having proved to myself over and over that the obsession is real is enough proof for me that I do not need to try the just one drink experiment again.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 53
Cheers nandm, it does sound similar to what I feel and brings up the interesting concept that one leading to two isn't necessarily just within the time frame of one night, but very much applies over a decent period of time too.
Myself, I'm more than sure I could have just one (not get merry however) and put it away, however, could I keep it at one and apply it over a decent period of time? I really not too sure about that at all, I'd say quite likely not.
Personally however at this moment in time, I'd regard getting drunk as a relapse and wouldn't beat myself up too much about having just one drink.
As folk say though, everyone is different and everyone's recovery is different.
Myself, I'm more than sure I could have just one (not get merry however) and put it away, however, could I keep it at one and apply it over a decent period of time? I really not too sure about that at all, I'd say quite likely not.
Personally however at this moment in time, I'd regard getting drunk as a relapse and wouldn't beat myself up too much about having just one drink.
As folk say though, everyone is different and everyone's recovery is different.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Toronto
Posts: 318
Meh, I could get away with 1-2 on a single night and not make a huge deal of it, but I am the same as most on this post, I have no idea if that would last.
Based on my history I would probably just start making excuses again for the 1-2, then have 5-8, then probably just go to the store and get a bottle and finish that the next day.
But having said that, I do base a full relapse on getting drunk and I have had just 1 or 2 and quit again. It just was pointless though and there are more flavorful beverages then alcohol.
Based on my history I would probably just start making excuses again for the 1-2, then have 5-8, then probably just go to the store and get a bottle and finish that the next day.
But having said that, I do base a full relapse on getting drunk and I have had just 1 or 2 and quit again. It just was pointless though and there are more flavorful beverages then alcohol.
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,431
If you can honestly have one or two and then stop for four days, then you may not be an alcoholic.
Personally, I find speculation can be dangerous - I think it's best to simply share my experience.
It's probably not good form to quote yourself either - but I will anyway
Originally Posted by me
When I was trying to get a handle on my drinking, not getting drunk was an achievement, a victory - it was hope to me, somewhere deep in me, that hey maybe I could control my drinking whenever I wanted....at the very least it was proof I was 'getting better'...
If I really looked back at my history I'd have seen the times when I drank 'like a gentleman' were the rare exception, not the rule.
I had 100s, maybe 1000s, of times where I got wasted and embarrassed or hurt myself or others - but I'd always go back to those handful of times where I'd had a glass or two and 'nothing happened'.
I really wanted to be a normal drinker, so I guess it's not surprising I clung to those few nights....but I'd always return to my normal pattern of drinking.
Looking back now, the truth was I was a blackout alcoholic drinker who sometimes had a 'normal' drinking experience - it was blind luck, not good management.
Please don't fall for the same lies I did for all those years.
Alcohol and I have a disastrous relationship. My drinking caused me immense pain and suffering, and it damn near destroyed me and all I loved....
if I drink - even one or two glasses - it's anything but a triumph.
If I really looked back at my history I'd have seen the times when I drank 'like a gentleman' were the rare exception, not the rule.
I had 100s, maybe 1000s, of times where I got wasted and embarrassed or hurt myself or others - but I'd always go back to those handful of times where I'd had a glass or two and 'nothing happened'.
I really wanted to be a normal drinker, so I guess it's not surprising I clung to those few nights....but I'd always return to my normal pattern of drinking.
Looking back now, the truth was I was a blackout alcoholic drinker who sometimes had a 'normal' drinking experience - it was blind luck, not good management.
Please don't fall for the same lies I did for all those years.
Alcohol and I have a disastrous relationship. My drinking caused me immense pain and suffering, and it damn near destroyed me and all I loved....
if I drink - even one or two glasses - it's anything but a triumph.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 414
A relapse does not simply consist of the act of putting alcohol through your lips.
A relapse begins with the thought process that happens well before you actually drink.
What did you gain by having that one drink? It may have ended well, but is your life better in any way now that you drank it?
You have far more to potentially lose than you could ever gain from just one drink.
A relapse begins with the thought process that happens well before you actually drink.
What did you gain by having that one drink? It may have ended well, but is your life better in any way now that you drank it?
You have far more to potentially lose than you could ever gain from just one drink.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
I'm a binger ,
There were lots of occasions i could drink and stop , be on stand-by all week and not drink .
The moment i had free/down-time i used to chase oblivion and i chased down-time so i could binge as often as possible . It was that kind of obsession .
Personally i don't think it's useful for me to have one drink , i don't see the point, i never have even when i used to drink i quite often had a lemonade if drinking was off the cards for some reason .
Nowdays why would i want to flirt with something that caused me such strife .
I gave up smoking and i don't see "having a drag" as anything good .
It's done, it's over, i've moved on from even contemplating ever smoking, drinking or doing drugs again .
Bestwishes, M
There were lots of occasions i could drink and stop , be on stand-by all week and not drink .
The moment i had free/down-time i used to chase oblivion and i chased down-time so i could binge as often as possible . It was that kind of obsession .
Personally i don't think it's useful for me to have one drink , i don't see the point, i never have even when i used to drink i quite often had a lemonade if drinking was off the cards for some reason .
Nowdays why would i want to flirt with something that caused me such strife .
I gave up smoking and i don't see "having a drag" as anything good .
It's done, it's over, i've moved on from even contemplating ever smoking, drinking or doing drugs again .
Bestwishes, M
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 70
This is an interesting discussion. To take the question further, can having one or two drinks and then stopping be NEITHER a relapse nor a cause for celebration? For example, let's say I have a glass of wine in a moment of weakness, and then realise how very stupid a choice that was and stop, recommitting myself to sobriety. How should I view such an episode?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 53
mecanix, I've said and felt many of the same similar things. I gave up smoking too and I don't think to myself 'oh I'll just have one drag'. Alcohol is no different I suppose, it's just another drug, I don't think to myself 'oh I'll just do a bit of heroin'... that would be nuts!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
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Originally Posted by kizzie 
This is an interesting discussion. To take the question further, can having one or two drinks and then stopping be NEITHER a relapse nor a cause for celebration? For example, let's say I have a glass of wine in a moment of weakness, and then realise how very stupid a choice that was and stop, recommitting myself to sobriety. How should I view such an episode?
As to the answer to your question, I'm not sure, that's the one I'm trying to find out too. : )
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Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
I don't think it's all that unusual that an alcoholic can gain some semblance of control for brief periods of time. I tried all different kinds of experiments over the decades but they all failed after a while. I tried limiting my number of drinks in a social gathering, at home I would draw a line on the bottle and say this much and no more. I'd switch to beer and say one 6 pack a day and no more. I could always do those things for a while but in the end they never worked.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Melbourne, Australia
Posts: 70
Originally Posted by Jojo69
It's a little befuddling isn't it (well at least to me) the notion of having to beat oneself up, see oneself as having failed, for controlling ones intake and not getting drunk. I can see the reasoning behind that though.
As to the answer to your question, I'm not sure, that's the one I'm trying to find out too. : )
As to the answer to your question, I'm not sure, that's the one I'm trying to find out too. : )
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Thread Starter
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Originally Posted by kizzie
Ah, I see. I think I misunderstood your initial question. I interpreted 'a cause for celebration' as a cause to see a victory for controlled drinking, but now I think you mean celebrating the fact that you saw the risks and stopped yourself going down that very slippery slope. Correct me if I'm wrong.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
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I started smoking again when I was in rehab. At first it was just one or two per day. Can you guess what happened next? I am pretty sure that's how it would go if I had just one drink. As Charlie said above, I have nothing to gain and everything to lose by having that one beer, not to mention only a reckless state of mind would put me in that situation in the first place. So yeah it would be a setback not a celebration for me.
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Originally Posted by BackToSquareOne
I don't think it's all that unusual that an alcoholic can gain some semblance of control for brief periods of time. I tried all different kinds of experiments over the decades but they all failed after a while. I tried limiting my number of drinks in a social gathering, at home I would draw a line on the bottle and say this much and no more. I'd switch to beer and say one 6 pack a day and no more. I could always do those things for a while but in the end they never worked.
I could be wrong, but for me I'd say as soon as I'm tipsy (3 or 4 drinks) I'm pretty much on a one way trip to oblivion.
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