Stardawn

I am getting ready to quit alcohol but im scared about recovery. I dont know what it feels like and its hard for me to imagine life without a drink. Can anyone help me with the feelings of being sober? I just want to know what its like.

bbthumper

Ive been sober for about 4.5 years now. I can tell you that sobriety is no longer a struggle. I feel content. Life has its ups and downs but its been years since I last wished that I could have a drink.
I used to be very uncomfortable when I didnt drink. I was anxious, depressed, bored, felt inferior to everyone, was irritable, angry etc. Several drinks used to fix that, but they became less effective and I needed more and more my problems piled up as a result.
I got sober through AA and am loving it. Like I said, there are good times and bad, but I am grateful to be sober through all of it.
Best wishes to you. A better life awaits you!

Natom

It's really a mixed bag. I have more good days than bad. Probably a ratio of 90:10. But when I have bad days I get through them. The first months are tough but they do get better.

Natom.

Stardawn

Thank you for the responses, im worried that i may relapse on my bad days. Did you guys do anything to prevent you from relapsing? Thank you so much for your help.

bbthumper

Sure thing.
I surrendered to the idea that I couldnt do this on my own. Left to my own devices I will drink. My past proves that.
I started attending AA and then submitted to the process which is summarized by the 12 steps of AA. THe obsession to drink was strong at first. It was difficult to get through the first couple of weeks. But somewhere in there I was relieved of that obsession to drink. I had tons of support from folks in the meetings
Having worked the steps I am able to sponsor other alcoholics and help them. That is the best relapse prevention out there if you ask me.

THere are many programs of recovery . AA was my answer. Im sure you will hear of other options as well.

Take care.

hypochondriac

I always though being sober I would feel too conscious and have thoughts racing round my head all the time. Turns out it's really serene and relaxing. I think drink caused all those manic thoughts I had and then got rid of them when I drank, but being completely sober is pretty chilled. It's nice x

hamabi

Sobriety was unfamiliar and scary in many respects...kind of a new world. Doing mundane things completely sober was often like doing them for the first time. Things I hadn't noticed I began to be aware of, like I'd been wearing blinders for years. Colors after a while were intense and there were new shades. Occasionally just visually the world would overwhelm me with life's intensity now that my trusty buffer had been removed.

"Did you guys do anything to prevent you from relapsing?"

I did anything that make sense to me in order to not relapse, no restrictions. I never wanted to chance going back to living half a life. I still feel that degree of commitment to this life.

I understand your fears. I can assure you that you won't fly apart without a drink, that the drink is not holding you together. The opposite is true, though that is invisible to you now.

fini

Stardawn,
yeah, i was scared, too. very. didn't know what anything would be like without drinking, not least of all me. hadn't been without that for decades.
and was terrified i might find out that drink was indeed holding me together. but Hamabi is right about that, of course

what's it been like? mixed bag, as Weasel says, for me. not really bad DAYS, but certainly bad moments, or a bunch of moments crowded together. i have distinct memories of feeling overwhelmed by feelings i didn't want to feel, and realizing that this was one place i really wanted to drink. to escape being in what is, so to speak. and restlessness at the very beginning, too, being lost , feeling kinda naked....

but hey, there was that everyday excitement and elation that i was really doing this, that i was making it and adding days together. every morning a "wow!"...that kind of stuff.


did i do stuff? yes, daily going on a forum, and a weekly meeting. i loked for and found a secular place to join, and am still active there. i read lots about sobriety and came clean with a couple of people who were important in my life. its hard for me to imagine life without a drink. yes. was for me, too. it's one of the things i did: put effort into just that imagining; changed the pictures in my head to weird-looking foreign-feeling ones without drink in them.worked on putting that in positive frames.

hm....there's no real way to get ready for how something feels, i'm thinking. you just eventually have to do it and then be willing to be with how it feels. feelings change, and that's always helpful to remember.
worth it? oh crumbs yes, resounding yes!
great idea to come here to help get ready...how do you think you'll know if/when you are?

least

I love it! I feel the peace I haven't felt in a long time. I can do anything I want and not worry about getting arrested or in an accident or getting in trouble or hating myself. I wake up feeling good and usually go to bed the same way.

My first three months were sort of rough but I found it got better when I started practicing gratitude every day. I start each day feeling grateful and end each day the same way. It makes a big difference for me.

freshstart57

I was scared to death of having to face my cr@ppy life without getting drunk, but I finally made that leap. That was when I learned that my life was pretty darned good, but all the alcohol I poured down my neck was responsible for 95% of my troubles. Most of my issues simply went away because they were directly caused by my drinking. It wasn't all skittles and rainbows being sober, but I learned that I could apply my natural abilities to the remainder of my problems, and I fixed most of em, dognabbit.

It was like what Hamabi said, it was like this fuzzy fog lifted from all of my senses. My sight, my hearing, touch, smell and taste all got sharper. I learned to just sit sometimes because there was so much new to enjoy.

My depression and worry about almost everything just lifted up, I felt smart and good and strong again, just like I remembered when I was small. Simple things now give me a feeling of peace and contentment.

I feel like I am trying to write a travel brochure, telling you to come and visit the Land of Sober. You just have to do it, and see for yourself. You will never regret it.

FBL

That was pretty much my experience as well. I couldn't put it any better than that.

FinallyFinished

For me, day 1 was probably the hardest. A lot of mental anguish and just spent a lot of time feeling bad about the person that I've become.
The first week was confusing with a lot of emotional ups and downs.
Weeks 2,3,4.... everything is improving other than my energy level, sex drive, and appetite. I have none of those, but lots of everything else.

Generally, I feel at peace with myself for the first time in ages. I really believe that everything else will eventually work itself out.

You can do it! It's really not so bad. I think that the only thing that you REALLY need is to want to stop more than you want to drink. After that, it seemed to fall into place for me.

LadyinBC

I've been sober for 6 months now and it is wonderful! I won't lie it was hard at first and I couldn't imagine not drinking. It scared me that I wouldn't have "my friend" anymore and I didn't think I would make it this far. I really didn't.

Losing my alcohol was like losing a friend and I had to go thru a greiving process. I think most people do. Yes, I still do think about it, but the urges don't come along as much as they use to. I'm tryin to keep my life simple in the first year. Simple and uncomplicated! And I'm loving it!

Michele01

If you want to quit drinking there are many resources available but actual is you yourself. many people fear about the life if they will not drink but you can overcome it emotionally. Your strong will power. Your loneliness is the biggest evil in these situations so, always be with your family as family is the biggest support of everyones life.

mydee19

Hi Stardawn,

Every day I am grateful that I am sober, I no longer have to wake up desperate for a drink or a drug. I wake up not feeling the insanity of that though I won't lie... It's tough, recovery is hard, sometimes really hard but I truly believe you need to want it enough for yourself and to also seek help from those who are in the same boat as you (may it be AA or other programs out there).

AA worked for me and I stay close to the fellowship but I was also very broken and very desperate that the thought of picking up made me feel worse rather than better.

Just hang in there and remember when you are having a bad day, remember it's just a bad day, it does not dictate your tomorrow.

Stay strong and know that everyone here is here for you.

Lots of good vibes your way!

Happier

In my experience, it feels peaceful. Drinking was causing me much regret and stress. I do not miss those days.

The first month was difficult for me and for my wife. Just a lot of emotions and changes but as I look back, I see it as a growing process. An eye-opening process that taught me much about myself. I am still learning but I now have no desire to drink. That isn't to say that those silly thoughts don't pop into my head sometimes. It is just that now, I stepback and rethink to myself, "man, that was a stupid thought. I am not going back there!"

I remember some very good and happy times in the days before I started drinking. My life is slowly starting to "feel" like that again and I am grateful.

tehmazzyland

Hey Stardawn. For me, being sober is - different.

As other posters have said, there are good days and bad days, but you'll find that each bad day you get through without a drink makes the next good day so much better.

How to get through the bad day? Well, there's all sorts of ways for all sorts of people. Long walks, computer games (that's my old favourite), finding a meeting, cleaning the house properly, sitting in a corner with sad music on crying until sleep arrives (done that a few times), trolling the internet and posting random stuff on random threads to random people on random sites - hell, even having a good ole flame war over nothing important (don't do this on SR course!)....

...But the unifying theme is that no matter how bad things are, they would only be worse with a drink. That's the truth that got me through each bad day, the various methods of getting through only worked after that truth was acknowledged.

But - it is SO worth it. The first time you have a bad day, but you see it out sober, you will feel awesomely liberated.

It's worth sticking at it. It really really really is.

50BER

It's perfectly Ok to be scared, if you weren't, I'd think you probably have not given it much deep thought. I too could not imagine life without a drink....drinking was woven into every part of my day, routine. It was as normal as getting up on Monday morning and going to work....I planned everything around drinking without even thinking about it, I worried about situations that did not involve drinking and became angry if something that required sobriety interrupted my plans (drinking).....Sobriety is a MAJOR disruption to what your life is, what you are accustomed to, how you live each day, your comfort and your routine. You are going to stick a huge wrench in the spokes of your life.....yea, that's going to be hard.

It's Fricking AWESOME!

TheEnd

It doesn't feel like much of anything, it's really hard to put into words. Being sober is just the way I live my life now. And if someone could explain it to you, it doesn't mean you will experience it just like them. Best thing to do is just try it out for yourself. Were you this aprehensive about trying alcohol? What do you have to lose?

That being said, it can be pretty awesome, but you would have to try it to find out.

Boleo

I agree. Most of the time sobriety just feels neutral. Not that neutral is bad... It is way better than obsessing over when and where I will get the next drink.If I had to put it into words, it would be;

Neutral feels natural.