AudreyAna

It's been three weeks since I drank, and while at first I was feeling really good, and healthy, now I am realizing all the emotional issues I'd been covering up. I had no idea how much anxiety and depression I was avoiding by drinking, and now it's all coming back!

I'm actually really scared that I have a panic disorder, I've had three major panic attacks in the past two weeks, two were this week. One resulted in me hurting myself (which I haven't done in ages), and the other was at work, which was thoroughly embarrassing. I'm so scared of it happening again, and I don't know how to handle it.

I've started recalling a lot of incidences like this from my childhood and in high school, leading up to my serious drinking. I've been really suicidal on and off for two weeks, but I'm hoping it'll get better..?

How have you guys dealt with this sort of thing? It made me realize how strong my need to drink was, how much pain it helped me repress.

Rosiepetal

Well done on 3 weeks.
It may pay to go to your doctor to discuss the physical affects you are having alongside the emotional ones.
I'm sure others will be along to offer advice.
Sorry for your discomfort, we are here for you.