9one1

I didn't drink growing up, both parents were alcoholic dad died when i was 4yrs old , i witnessed alot of what booze did to my mother and i was afraid to drink, but very curious

as to what it tasted like, needless to say i never touched it, anyway when i was 20 i decided to go in the Navy and make a life for myself, I no sooner graduated from boot camp and

decided i would go out with the boys and have "a few" well i blacked out that night, got arrested and was put on restriction for 30 days, during those 30 days, by looking back

on it now i obsessed over how i could not wait to drink again regardless of blacking out, after the 30days i went out again to have "a few " only this time this night was very

uneventful, anyway i continued to drink alcoholically,putting peoples lives in danger in the process,the navy enabled me because each time i got in trouble they essentially slapped me

on the hand and i was never held accountable for my drinking nor my behavior yet i was well aware of this and i vividly remember saying "screw it if they don't stop me from drinking I'm not gonna stop either" so i kept on drinking only now i didn't care if i got in trouble or not

as long as i could drink that's all i did care about, god takes care of fools and drunks because for whatever reason i stopped drinking result of having a seizure,i didn't drink again until i

was honorably discharged e 14 months later because i was terrified to think my drinking was the cause of the seizure, well it was not the cause, got home from being in the military

for almost 2 yrs but convinced was out as a result of my alcoholic drinking, i started drinking again as soon as i settled into my apartment with a fervor and continued to drink like a

pig for i don't know how long but it was for at least 7 years,in and out of detoxes and rehabs knowing when i got out i would dink again, i just wasn't ready to get sober, the disease had

me by the throat and wouldn't let go, my life was spent going to court several times and a 30 day stay at a state prison with Hardin criminals and STILL i got out and you guessed

it, I drank again, the disease of alcoholism has ruled, ruined and destroyed my life throughout the years and i chose to almost always to drink again, at one point in

my life in 2001 - 2006 i managed to put five years together and my life was pretty damn good however i made the choice to drink yet again because i became complacent

and got away from meetings, it was that simple I'm not the type of person who can afford to not go to meetings otherwise the day will come when i will become spiritually sick and

lead me right back to the throws of alcoholism, today I'm not willing to take that chance, yes i had a traumatic, horrific childhood, i was sexually abused by my own mother and in foster care not to mention, physically and psychologically tortured in the military now did that set me up to drink , and ultimately become alcoholic, maybe, I'll never know, what i do know is my past no longer owns

or consumes me, i have alot of issues and my own personal hell still creeps up every once in a while but i don't have to drink ,Alcoholics Anonymous has shown me I'm not alone in

my search for peace of mind and recovery, what a freedom that is to know you're just another alcoholic trying to stay sober one day at a time,and for that I'm grateful, tonight i

will get on my knees and thank god for another day of sobriety, of course tomorrow will be no different, I'll ask my higher power to keep me way from a drink, drug, and substitute and help me to be a better person today then i was yesterday and to ask not to hurt another human being, most importantly to not be self centered, self self absorbed and self seeking, as an alkie we tend to think of ourselves first, in AA we are shown to think of others FIRST, my sponsor tells me this ALL THE TIME and the more we do this it will become second

nature, anyway my intention tonight is to share a little bit about myself and in the process let others know that we ALL have trials and tribulations but we can get through them with help from

others and also let others realize they can get sober no matter what you've been through in life, finally life on lifes terms can really mangle you at times and if you're an alcoholic

and you don't drink during those times you're a success, and don't let anyone tell you differently.. God bless all of you.

Coop

BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF NO ONE ELSE WILL BE, YOU'RE WORTH IT!!!

9one1

36 Views, no replies, is it that bad?

DarkDays

Maybe timezones ?

I wish you all the best, these forums are full of advice on recovery and staying off AlcoHell forever.

9one1

Thanks dark days for your support i appreciate it immensely as i put alot of emotion and thought into my post, god bless if you want, keep in touch my friend.

Coop

DarkDays

No probs sir This Post get more attention later in day.

Stay around keep posting.

9one1

What a waste of time i spent on this post to have over 80 views and barely any replies!!

WHATEVER

Black

This is a fantastic post and a very sad one also. Life can be very difficult for us all 9one1 and I can see from you post you have had very hard times in you young day. Things do happen that lead us right back to the throws of alcoholism, but we can over come it again and again until we are free.
I have tried for years to get away from booze and have been looking on these boards since 2007 and only posted my first message for help yesterday.
Good luck and best wishes to you.

soberjim

9one1....I personally liked the post. Thank you for taking the time to write it...

Obviously you have been through a great deal of hardship in your life, and you have pushed through and succeeded.

You post reinforces to me how powerful and destructive alcohol is...

You've been sober since June 15th correct?

I am glad you are doing better

Jim

AlwaysGrowing

Just having a little fun!

On a serious note. Loved your post. Once I got on my knees and asked God to take this from me each night I was able to get and stay sober. Now 21 years later still sober and have Him to thank for it.

AG
Former Marine

9one1

@ Jim i have been sober since June 15th and its been a ride to say the least, i went through a lot of trauma growing up but for whatever reason i knew one day it would stop , and it finally did, then i discovered booze and it took away all the pain i endured yet it also caused alot of pain as well, anyway i might be almost 4 months sober but i am taking my sobriety dead serious this time, i cant afford not to, life is to short, i wont even get into the misery i caused my poor wife, thank you so much for replying to my post , i guess i was putting expectations in it regarding others commenting and once again i failed, my sponsir tells me if i put expectations in others i will almost always fail because they're human, he's so right, anyway Jim you take care and thank you for your kind words, they mean alot.

Coop