Mark75

Well, the thing is, AA doesn't work for everyone, lots of people don't want AA, and people go back out after being in AA. No one has really proven anything in AA except those of whom have found success have proven that it works them.

Saying that it's the only, well there is no proof of that either. Implying pending failure to those who have recovered without AA, I think is where you will cause people to feel offended, though many who have recovered without AA have heard it before, and I think are past that and are probably just rolling their eyes and thinking, "Here we go again, another AA telling us that AA is the only way to recover."

Attraction not promotion, you know.

It is OK with everyone here to say "I love AA, it saved my life and I am happy, joyous and free!".... I say it a lot and no one has flamed me for that.

I think, that from my experience here, I had to take the cotton out of my ears and listen and learn... ... I just wished I had put in my mouth more often, LOL.

Maybe you'll be more at home in the 12 step section... Please check it out, I wished more people would post there... I am a fellow AA, welcome to SR and keep coming back!

Exploring

9one1 - I think varying opinions are welcome around these parts. Your post came across as though you were stating fact. I think that is why it was questioned.
All the best!

9one1

I apoligize , i can truly say it was NEVER MY INTENT , i tend to get caught in the moment and lose sight of the fact that , AA has saved MY LIFE and has worked FOR ME , not everyone else, i can be a jerk at times and that post all of you are reffering to , I WAS BEING ONE, only after reading it and getting the replies and realizing " hey they're right that was a little much" i hope this site and forum can forgive me, i was wrong and for that , i'm sorry.

Coop


PS: Mark75 - You really helped me open my eyes, i ,too am a friend of Bill W , thank you for letting me know once again im not alone.

Mark75

You are forgiven.

Gerbil

Thanks for posting this question and your concerns, because I feel the same way. I am unsure about how to recover. I have relapsed several times through AA, and on my own. My longest period of sobriety was on my own. I have grown a lot through AA, and made some much needed changes, but I feel like I have also become fearful from the warnings AA members give me about there being no other way to stay sober. You're either in or you're out. I get kind of fed up with the terminology of AA and the slogans. Yet, sometimes I have found refuge in the same annoying slogans. Seriously, the serenity prayer and one-day-at-a-time help. But I am distrustful of doing the 12 steps with someone. Anyway...I can't help you answer that question. But I wonder about it, too.

Dee74

Welcome Gerbil

You've found a great place for encouragement and support.

I didn't know what to do or where to go when I first came here.... but I'm eternally glad for the advice, the understanding and the hope I received here

good to have you with us

D

9one1

Sobriety , FOR ME , has been awesome, i don't know where i would be if it was not for AA, i have a great sponsor who is constantly telling me to think of others first and your chances of staying sober increase, he's almost 9 years sober so he must be doing something right, i knew about AA back in the early early 90's but you couldn't tell me anything , i had all the answers, which got me in trouble on here tonight LOL ,i couldn't accept my alcoholism until i was pretty mangled and even then i still fought the illusion that nothing was wrong and i could drink in safety when everything around me was proving me otheriwse, i had no alternitive so i tried AA, very defensive and closed up yet i knew i had to do something, well the long and short of it was i wasn't ready to get sober, i heard about, but didnt try, SMART recovery, however i knew deep down i wanted to still drink and of course all the trouble that came with it, i never made the connection, until june of this year, in a word HORRIFIED and subjected my poor wife to my disease for the last time - I HOPE - ireached out to someone in the program who was there for me the last time i tried getting sober, i went to a meeting about 10 minutes from my home and god willing i have been sober since, AA is NOT for everyone its definitely for me, i guess because it's all i knew throughout the years , plus i was never really interested in anything else and in my area AA is everywhere so you couldnt make an excuse that there were no meetings to go to , day / night all around the clock and honestly i hated AA in the first few weeks because i knew i had to, yet again, stop drinking , for whatever reason i have lost the desire to drink, i pray everyday / everynight to god, my higher power , when i pray i have a good day and when i don't , you guessed it i have a bad day, no kidding either , finally i'm a grateful guy today because i'm sober and if i continue to do what is suggested to stay sober i will be ok, i know my sobriety is an unmerited gift and losing that won't take much, i only need to become complacent and get away from meetings and the day will come that i will drink however if i do the opposite my life will get better and i will continue to grow and thank god i have that oppurtuinty because for a long time i made the choice to suffer because i knew there was a way out , i wasn't grateful and i didn't care about anyone, i find relief in going to AA, i take care of my outside issues and as a result i have a pretty good life, and for that i'm grateful....

onlythetruth

Well, often, when we find the approach that fits us, that works for us, it can be a bit of a "Eureka!" moment. I know that when I found SMART Recovery--even though I had been sober for years--I felt that way (actually, my exact feeling was "where WAS this when I first quit drinking?"...because, for me, AA felt like swimming upstream).

I think the key is not to take this feeling too far and decide that what is the answer for US must be the answer for all. Because that is dangerous.

I sometimes am told that folks who criticize a recovery program are "killing alcoholics" by dissuading them from finding the answer. But if this is true, then it is just as true that proclaiming one way as the only way is "killing alcoholics"... because it can dissuade people from looking for a different way if that is right for them.

I am vocal about this because I am someone who got caught in the "one size fits all" world that had an almost absolute monopoly on the recovery world when I quit drinking, and, as a result, spent years in an ill-fitting program thinking there was something wrong with me. I know the pain that this caused me, and never want that to happen to someone else.

Choice, and respect for the different ways people find their way out of the ditch: that is how we can help each other. Not by proclaiming our pathway to be the only one that works.

FBL

When I decided to get sober, I looked at all the options and decided to do it my own way. I confided in a few close friends and family members and eventually found my way here.

I've been told by some here that there's no way I'll stay sober without a set program, or that I'm a "dry drunk", or that I was never really an alcoholic to begin with. Well, it's been over 3 years now, so I guess I can stay sober. Nearly 30 years of drinking, including drinking 12-18 beers a day EVERY day for the last 10 years, told me that I was an alcoholic. I'm happier now than I've ever been in my adult life, so that tells me I'm not a "dry drunk".

Bottom line is we're all trying to get well and it shouldn't matter how we do it, but the fact that we DO do it!

9one1

Formerbeerlover - Awesome , I couldn't have said it any better myself, If you're replying to my post and how I was being factual I was wrong for that and I apologize to you directly and of course others, good for you that you've been sober 3 years, it's hard work but yes we do have our own path , I wish you ALL THE BEST on your journey, take care.

freshstart57

It's not your fault, 9one1, you simply repeated what you have been told, and had no reason to question it. Now that you know there is so much more to sobriety than your private experience, you are in a great place to learn about other SR members and what has worked for them. It can add to your understanding of addiction and this can be a good thing.

Congratulations to you on your sobriety, and best wishes for continued success!

Mark75

We AAs have benefited from hearing the experience strength and hope of non-AAs in their journeys in recovery. I have found some tools that fit very well in my AA tool box. Learning about AVRT from freshstart57, and others who use that method, has been particularly useful to me and has some similarities to the AA approach, especially the first step, though sans spirituality.

2granddaughters

Please Google and read AA's "The Doctors Opinion", "How It Works" and "The Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous".

If those documents speak to you then AA is likely your answer.......

If you can't/don't relate then I wish you the best in your chosen recovery program.

Bob R

9one1

Life is good and i have to , i must , attribute it to AA, i know i have to do the work to stay away from a drink , but AA has shown me that i don't have to drink even if i want to, for a long time life was not so good, there are no coincedences (did i spell that correctly) that i have a great out look on my life because i don't drink a day at a time, i joined this site and i know "it's not my fault as i was only speaking on what i was shown" to expand,if you will,my recovery,i'm actually excited about life today, i actually looook forward to the day and not think of it as a burden like i so often did in the past, my higher power, who is god, has shown me in so many different ways that my life can become amazingly free from so much,namely alcohol,also, and this one is a huge, freedom from the bondage of self, when i was actely drinking i was so paralyzed with fear and doubt that i couldn't get sober and now that i am its a freedom i can't rightfully explain to you unless you experience it for yourself, if i'm fortunate ,tonight i will be able to pass the message on to the alcoholic who still suffers as i'm going on a committment with my group, i am so blessed , i hope i continue to be grateful otherwise circumstances can get rather ugly for me therefore if i surround myself with positive people, and thank god for another day of sobriety / recovery i simply cannot fail, life is good.

DoubleBarrel

One reason I like it here best is that AA meetings don't have an ignore feature.

CoachK

One doesn't need to be an alcoholic to attend an open AA meeting. You can't say you will work the 12 steps without understanding AA. Take a friend or support person and check out several different open AA meetings. Be prepared to be greeted with a hug or a firm handshake. Get all the preconceived notions about 12 stepping out of your head. Listen and observe. When you find a place you're comfortable with begin. No time limits, no strings attached. For once you have the right to make it all about you.

Dee74

welcome to SR Coach

D

Charon

I attended daily meetings for several years. In the end I found out that you can't force yourself to believe. Try to convince yourself that the earth is flat, for example. So, AA is definitely NOT for me. I couldn't buy the dogma, the worship of Bill Wilson and Bob Smith, nor the ritual. I took a pass on the Catholic Church when I was very young as well. I no longer attend meetings and honestly, I feel better off for it.

soberlicious

AA, nor any program, is necessary for successful recovery from addiction.

9one1

@ Charon - You're absolutely right AA is not for everyone, and thats your right you don't have to go to AA to stay sober, there are MANY other resources out there for people that think they're having problems with alcohol. Whatever choices you make i truly wish you well, we ALL deserve to get sober, afterall we're good people and don't let anyone tell you otherwise.