Do you think self-identifying as an addict is detrimental to recovery
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Though I posted on this thread a while ago, I haven't kept up with it (my bad), but was drawn to it today. I am without a job, the last company I worked for was bought out and I got the "bye bye".
A friend, who knows my history, told me of a possible job. She told me she thought it would be "beneficial" to tell the boss my history. I trust her, so I did, though not the gruesome details. Today, I met the guy, he doesn't have an opening right now, but it's pretty obvious that he DOES want to hire me as soon as he does have an opening. He came to the place I do volunteer work to bring me the application (after I had talked with him).
I've struggle for 5 years over whether to divulge my past or not. How do you explain going from a highly certified RN to working at McDonald's? I found out that it depends on the person and situation. I'm blessed that I had a friend give me the head's up on what she thought and she was right. Do I tell EVERY potential employer my past? No. If I get the feeling that it's okay to reveal my past I will.
I'm not the person I was 5-1/2 years ago, strung out on crack. I did find out, however, that someone saying "I really appreciate you being honest with me" because I went by my gut and my friend's advice is a freeing feeling.
I'm a recovering addict, but that's not all I am. I am trustworthy, reliable and loyal. I will have to go with my gut feelings on whether to reveal my past in the future. I can only pray that my life in recovery speaks loud enough to drown out my past.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
A friend, who knows my history, told me of a possible job. She told me she thought it would be "beneficial" to tell the boss my history. I trust her, so I did, though not the gruesome details. Today, I met the guy, he doesn't have an opening right now, but it's pretty obvious that he DOES want to hire me as soon as he does have an opening. He came to the place I do volunteer work to bring me the application (after I had talked with him).
I've struggle for 5 years over whether to divulge my past or not. How do you explain going from a highly certified RN to working at McDonald's? I found out that it depends on the person and situation. I'm blessed that I had a friend give me the head's up on what she thought and she was right. Do I tell EVERY potential employer my past? No. If I get the feeling that it's okay to reveal my past I will.
I'm not the person I was 5-1/2 years ago, strung out on crack. I did find out, however, that someone saying "I really appreciate you being honest with me" because I went by my gut and my friend's advice is a freeing feeling.
I'm a recovering addict, but that's not all I am. I am trustworthy, reliable and loyal. I will have to go with my gut feelings on whether to reveal my past in the future. I can only pray that my life in recovery speaks loud enough to drown out my past.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Originally Posted by miamifella
Do you think self-identifying as an addict is detrimental to recovery?
I think there are many recovery-related questions like that, questions where the truth is a matter of individual experience. Ironically, those are the topics that seem to provoke the biggest debates on SR—the one's where there's no right or wrong answer, just personal experiences.
Originally Posted by Impurrfect
I can only pray that my life in recovery speaks loud enough to drown out my past.
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Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,722
Originally Posted by ReadyAndAble 
I think... that what I think doesn't matter. I mean, it matters to me, but not to you. All that matters is what you think.
I think there are many recovery-related questions like that, questions where the truth is a matter of individual experience. Ironically, those are the topics that seem to provoke the biggest debates on SR—the one's where there's no right or wrong answer, just personal experiences.
It comes through loud and clear here, that's for sure. Best of luck with the new opportunity, Amy.
I think there are many recovery-related questions like that, questions where the truth is a matter of individual experience. Ironically, those are the topics that seem to provoke the biggest debates on SR—the one's where there's no right or wrong answer, just personal experiences.
It comes through loud and clear here, that's for sure. Best of luck with the new opportunity, Amy.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Knoxville, TN
Posts: 92
Originally Posted by stillsleeping
...I don't see addicts vs non-addicts. I didn't see our thread as being a brawl at all, but a group of people wanting to understand, and "telling us it was time to go to bed" were my words of thanks to Dee.
I do see some stereotyping and misinformation. I am an alcoholic. It's not a badge of honour, but it is something that I am. Admitting to it means that some people have preconceptions about me that can be hard to deal with. And, yeah, it bugs me to know that some people don't consider me to be normal, and to know that I've done things to earn their classification of me.
I'm not proud of being an alcoholic, and I've only told a couple of people I'm in recovery. I hope I tell more people as time goes on.
But all that's complicated. You asked whether self-identifying is important? It's ten to one in the afternoon here. If I hadn't identified myself as an alcoholic I'd be w&nkered by now.
Normal people can drink alcohol and not have their entire lives crumble because of it. At least that's my opinion. If other people have different opinions, that's fine by me.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Kinston, NC
Posts: 5
I can't tell you what is true for you, but I can share my experience and hope that it helps you figure out what you're looking for.
I am an addict just as much as I am female. It's simply part of who I am. It's in the way I think and the actions I take naturally. I am an addict because I overindulge in ANYTHING that makes me feel good. I have no idea what normal people feel like because I've never been anything but who I am. I do know that a lot of people told me, "Well why don't you just stop?" That suggests that I think differently from them because that was simply not possible for me. I had to have people in my life that I could rely on constantly and a set of principles that I can practice on a daily basis to keep me from going back to getting high. I must be different from other people because if I wasn't then they would have suggested this a long time ago. The only people who ever suggested that I live the way I am living now were other people who identified as addicts. That leads me to believe that I am an addict too.
I am an addict just as much as I am female. It's simply part of who I am. It's in the way I think and the actions I take naturally. I am an addict because I overindulge in ANYTHING that makes me feel good. I have no idea what normal people feel like because I've never been anything but who I am. I do know that a lot of people told me, "Well why don't you just stop?" That suggests that I think differently from them because that was simply not possible for me. I had to have people in my life that I could rely on constantly and a set of principles that I can practice on a daily basis to keep me from going back to getting high. I must be different from other people because if I wasn't then they would have suggested this a long time ago. The only people who ever suggested that I live the way I am living now were other people who identified as addicts. That leads me to believe that I am an addict too.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 929
I am alcohol dependent in early remission.
I am an addict.
Those words are for me, my Doctor and this forum.
Admitting I will always be an addict, but in recovery is a means of keeping myself honest, but is no one else's business.
I am an addict.
Those words are for me, my Doctor and this forum.
Admitting I will always be an addict, but in recovery is a means of keeping myself honest, but is no one else's business.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
I try not to call people names, including myself. I think the word "alcoholic" is pejorative, but regardless of that, I haven't drank in almost 2 years. Most definitions of "alcoholic" found in a DICTIONARY mentions something about consuming excessive amounts of alcohol. Obviously since I don't drink alcohol, I can hardly be an alcoholic. I know that AA has its own definition and use of the word, but I'm not AA and I don't agree with their use the word in that fashion. If it helps someone to do so then have at it. If calling yourself an alcoholic helps you stay sober then call yourself one. Call yourself a toad, a door knob, or a monkey if that helps. But please if you have a history of abusing alcohol, stop drinking it.
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: New York City
Posts: 154
Originally Posted by GrowingDaily
Reading many threads & comments here, including the 'normies' threads in the family forums, there seems to be a strong culture of 'us vs them' in regards to addicts vs non-addicts. In some instances it seems like it's almost worn as a badge of honor by some.
Not only do I not want to consider myself something apart from normal, I don't think doing so would be accurate. Nor do I think seeing myself as abnormal would be conducive to improvement.
Some of us are certainly predisposed to such behavior, but IMO addiction is something that can claim nearly anyone. And 'normal' people... they have their problems too, and they have problems dealing with their problems. Just like us.
I'm curious what other people's thoughts are. But personally - I see myself as being just as normal as anyone else. Like any other human on this planet, I have my own set of problems that I have to work through. My problems may be different from Joe Blows, but that doesn't make him any more normal than me.
Not only do I not want to consider myself something apart from normal, I don't think doing so would be accurate. Nor do I think seeing myself as abnormal would be conducive to improvement.
Some of us are certainly predisposed to such behavior, but IMO addiction is something that can claim nearly anyone. And 'normal' people... they have their problems too, and they have problems dealing with their problems. Just like us.
I'm curious what other people's thoughts are. But personally - I see myself as being just as normal as anyone else. Like any other human on this planet, I have my own set of problems that I have to work through. My problems may be different from Joe Blows, but that doesn't make him any more normal than me.
In any event, I don't think there is much of an "us vs. them" mentality among healthy recovered people. It's more like "us AND them." And the "them" people still have plenty of problems, some just as serious as addiction. They are just different.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Surrey, BC
Posts: 3,282
"Do you think self-identifying as an addict is detrimental to recovery"
No. That is my reality. I can never say I was an alcoholic or use to be an alcoholic. I will always be one and I can't become complacent. Some people can't eat fat or sugar, or nuts, I can't drink booze.
No. That is my reality. I can never say I was an alcoholic or use to be an alcoholic. I will always be one and I can't become complacent. Some people can't eat fat or sugar, or nuts, I can't drink booze.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 15
There is no reason not to believe that a person can admit to a problem of addiction, enter recovery, move through a recovery phase and maintain a healthy lifestyle, without having to self identify as an addict. I guess it all depends on the persons belief in what addiction is.
If I don't think it's a disease but a maladaptive behaviour response to life events then the addiction can easily be ended in a short to medium recovery phase and then a healthy lifestyle can be entered and maintained.
I am particularly interested in nondual teachings. I get the sense that these teachings point to the idea that almost everyone on the planet is an addict. They are addicted to the idea that they are an individual entity, seperate from everybody and everything else. This for me is a game changer because addiction then becomes a matter of degree and is not something special or unique to people who self identify as an alcoholic or addict. For me this negates the "them" and "us" distinction.
The interesting thing for me is I have attended 12 step meetings and found the faults in them. Since my affinity with non duality has begun I can see the great similarities between the non dual teachings and the 12 steps so I am once more engaging with the program and also expecting that one day I shall leave the meetings.
If I don't think it's a disease but a maladaptive behaviour response to life events then the addiction can easily be ended in a short to medium recovery phase and then a healthy lifestyle can be entered and maintained.
I am particularly interested in nondual teachings. I get the sense that these teachings point to the idea that almost everyone on the planet is an addict. They are addicted to the idea that they are an individual entity, seperate from everybody and everything else. This for me is a game changer because addiction then becomes a matter of degree and is not something special or unique to people who self identify as an alcoholic or addict. For me this negates the "them" and "us" distinction.
The interesting thing for me is I have attended 12 step meetings and found the faults in them. Since my affinity with non duality has begun I can see the great similarities between the non dual teachings and the 12 steps so I am once more engaging with the program and also expecting that one day I shall leave the meetings.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Des Moines IA
Posts: 377
Lots of alcoholics stop for a few months or a few years before resuming alcoholic drinking. Many never liked being alcoholic and want to leave that in the dust right now.
During the time they are abstinent it doesn't really matter which words they like the very best to describe themselves. Any will do, and ultimately it changes nothing other than making themselves feel better for a while.
So I'd not be against a nondrinking alcoholic terming themselves presently-avoiding-that-which-is-the-awful-thing, normalpersonyoubetcha or recovering abbynormal, or made up names like fusswiffy, or wikiwompa.
Let them use their imagination while they don't drink to anything they find pleasing. Any drinking and again the term applied to them will be again narrowed down to one. When an alcoholic drinks, normal is the last word that will be applied to them.
During the time they are abstinent it doesn't really matter which words they like the very best to describe themselves. Any will do, and ultimately it changes nothing other than making themselves feel better for a while.
So I'd not be against a nondrinking alcoholic terming themselves presently-avoiding-that-which-is-the-awful-thing, normalpersonyoubetcha or recovering abbynormal, or made up names like fusswiffy, or wikiwompa.
Let them use their imagination while they don't drink to anything they find pleasing. Any drinking and again the term applied to them will be again narrowed down to one. When an alcoholic drinks, normal is the last word that will be applied to them.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: highland beach, florida
Posts: 649
I have read most of the posts on this thread and found it very enlightening!
Speaking for myself only "Normal" is an all inclusive word. We are all a part of normalcy. None of us are perfect we all have our issues, so in that sense WE alcoholics are normal people.
We are Alcoholics, there are others who are non-alcoholics, but they may be physically abussive, ocd,anorexic, fat , skinny, smokers,liars, (you get my drift)
These fralities ARE THE NORM!
I always Identify myself as a "recovering" alcoholic. I will be RECOVERED when I die sober. Until then there is always the possibilities I could drink again.
I do not need to identify myself to everyone I meet. I do however seem to have a keen sense of others with problems, and to those I will bring my recovery into the conversation. I find they open up more about their own concerns, and know I will not be judgemental--I mean how can I judge them, I'm a drunk.
Surprisingly I believe recovering alcoholics are among an" enlightened few." Special in that they have had to examine themselves under a microscope, if you will, and have come to love themselves in spite of their imperfectness.
I know I am my own best friend, because no one will know me or understand me as well as me . That feelings allows me to be perfectly happy just hangin with myself. I am not sure I would have come to this awakening if I never had a reason to look at myself like we alcoholics have too.
Most people are shocked when I tell them this , because I am about as far away from the picture of the "drunk" layin in an alley with a bottle in a bag---You know the one that's pictured in the dictionary of some people who actually believe that is what we HAVE to look like to be considered a "drunk".
.....but that's just my take on the sibject.
Speaking for myself only "Normal" is an all inclusive word. We are all a part of normalcy. None of us are perfect we all have our issues, so in that sense WE alcoholics are normal people.
We are Alcoholics, there are others who are non-alcoholics, but they may be physically abussive, ocd,anorexic, fat , skinny, smokers,liars, (you get my drift)
These fralities ARE THE NORM!
I always Identify myself as a "recovering" alcoholic. I will be RECOVERED when I die sober. Until then there is always the possibilities I could drink again.
I do not need to identify myself to everyone I meet. I do however seem to have a keen sense of others with problems, and to those I will bring my recovery into the conversation. I find they open up more about their own concerns, and know I will not be judgemental--I mean how can I judge them, I'm a drunk.
Surprisingly I believe recovering alcoholics are among an" enlightened few." Special in that they have had to examine themselves under a microscope, if you will, and have come to love themselves in spite of their imperfectness.
I know I am my own best friend, because no one will know me or understand me as well as me . That feelings allows me to be perfectly happy just hangin with myself. I am not sure I would have come to this awakening if I never had a reason to look at myself like we alcoholics have too.
Most people are shocked when I tell them this , because I am about as far away from the picture of the "drunk" layin in an alley with a bottle in a bag---You know the one that's pictured in the dictionary of some people who actually believe that is what we HAVE to look like to be considered a "drunk".
.....but that's just my take on the sibject.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Calgary, Canada
Posts: 69
I feel that some people just can get easier addicted to some things than other people. And these things are different for different people too. There are from time to time articles popping up about people dying while playing internet games because they can't get away from the computer.
I believe that recognizing your weaknesses is one of the wisest things you can do in your life, and overcoming or even trying to overcome these weaknesses will make you better and stronger.
I believe that recognizing your weaknesses is one of the wisest things you can do in your life, and overcoming or even trying to overcome these weaknesses will make you better and stronger.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: west coast.
Posts: 52
Very interesting. Found it also very educational.
Me? I am a recovering alcoholic, I am a diabetic, I am a cancer survivor.
Which one is the real me? All of them. I am also very rotund, (sounds better than fat).
I don't go around announcing to people I meet about the diabetes and the alcohol (now, I am proud to be a cancer survivor so I shout that to the world). I do wear a medic alert bracelet and have a tattoo on my wrist about the diabetes. Why the tat? I fly, a lot. On occasion the rare TSA person wants that clunky bracelet off. So, got the tat in case I keel over in the line.
Not going to announce about the alcoholism. I will bring it up only if someone wants to go for a drink, or says they are in AA. If for a drink, I usually say "I will have a cola/coffee instead". If they push, I tell them, and then don't go. That simple. For me.
Am I ashamed of it? No, as I am working very hard on it. But, there is still that stigma in the general population.
Me? I am a recovering alcoholic, I am a diabetic, I am a cancer survivor.
Which one is the real me? All of them. I am also very rotund, (sounds better than fat).
I don't go around announcing to people I meet about the diabetes and the alcohol (now, I am proud to be a cancer survivor so I shout that to the world). I do wear a medic alert bracelet and have a tattoo on my wrist about the diabetes. Why the tat? I fly, a lot. On occasion the rare TSA person wants that clunky bracelet off. So, got the tat in case I keel over in the line.
Not going to announce about the alcoholism. I will bring it up only if someone wants to go for a drink, or says they are in AA. If for a drink, I usually say "I will have a cola/coffee instead". If they push, I tell them, and then don't go. That simple. For me.
Am I ashamed of it? No, as I am working very hard on it. But, there is still that stigma in the general population.
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