sean186

So its my first time adding on this site. I have been reading these forums for a long time and so much respect and envy everybody on here for there progress. The longest i have gone is 9 days without alcohol and i see ppl on here that have been clean for months and i cant do anything but want that. I am a failure compared to ppl i see on here, im 23 ive been drinking heavy since i was 19 and i hate it. i made a solid resolution to myself yesterday to quit for good and went one day and drank again. I can always stop for a few days then i start again. Drinking has ruined relationships for me with everyone because i am what they would call a belligerent drunk. I was kicked out of my house at 19 because of drinking and it just got worse after that. I got my own place and made it my drunk induced paradise. I cant talk to anyone in my family because they are all drunks as well and to give up drinking i would be a pu$$y. I'm not expecting a life changing event i just want some sober advice.

Dee74

Hi Sean

I can see a lot of reasons for you to recover from your post - it sounds like you've lost quite a bit in your life already?

You're not a failure. I once couldn't make 3 days...I'm closing in on 5 years now, so it's definitely possible to turn things around

I had to make a lot of changes tho - my life used to revolve around alcohol, a lot of my friendships, and a lot of my family relationships did too.

I really wanted to leave the drinking behind, so I had to change a lot of the places I hung out and the people I used to hang out with.

I really had to work towards the kind of life I wanted and the kind of man I wanted to be.

That's why I think supports especially important in helping us make and stick to those changes.

You'll find a lot of support here for sure - welcome!

D

sean186

@dee thats exactly what i worry about man your 5 years sober is it worth it? I go a week sober and hate it. I mean i was messed up before i started drinking so its hard for me to tell myself it be so much better if i was sober.

Dee74

I wouldn't do it after 5 years if it wasn't worth it

I drank for a lot of years Sean - I didn't feel good after a week or even 2 weeks - it took me a few months and some hard work to climb my way out of the hole I'd been digging for myself.

It wasn't easy - I was so used to hitting the bottle and instantly feeling good - and there's not anything instant about recovery...you really need to be patient sometimes.

But I love my life now and I like who I am - so yes it's definitely worth it, man. I personally guarantee it

D

onlythetruth

I guarantee it too, Sean. None of us start on this path happy. It takes time, commitment and perseverance to get better. But it happens, and it is worth it. If I had it to do over again, I would.

Spiderkitty

Sean. I started drinking at 18 and was alcoholic by 19 and knew it. Telling me to not drink was like telling me not to breathe. I didn't hit the brakes, ever. Drank every day til 33 years old. It cost me a lot. Lost dreams, screwy relationships and failing liver and hollow soul. You've never tried being sober & it may be the key to a happy life you never thought possible. It was for me. I have had some gruesome setbacks in the last few years, but I can say sobriety is the best thing I ever did and gave me joys that were impossible and promises them in the future if I stick with it. I would never have been able to do it without AA for many reasons, but if for no other the friends I made there. Why not try it.

Impurrfect

(((Sean))) - though alcohol wasn't my "thing" - though I went through a period of abusing it, crack was what brought me to my knees.

Feeling better took a lot longer than a week or two. I was near suicidal, couldn't see how I was EVER going to get out of the financial/career mess I had made. I've got a little over 4-1/2 years, still dealing with some consequences, but is it worth it? Most definitely.

My life isn't a bed of roses, but it is sooo much better than when I was using. I've been a victim in 2 armed robberies at work, deaths of close family members (including an 18-year-old cousin I just found out about last night), and failing health in other close family members. I'm grateful that I'm not out using, oblivious to what's going on to the people I love and who love me.

It takes time to get to this point, but then you've spent time on drinking. Support is what's helped me the most, and I've gotten a lot of that here at SR.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

NYCDoglvr

Sean .... if I can quit, anyone can. Unfortunately I had to go down, down, down and almost die to "get it" that I'm an alcoholic. Drank basically a magnum of wine per day for eight years. I could not have stayed sober on my own so I went to AA, which saved my life. I hated myself, I wanted to die. But there's a saying in AA: "let us love you till you love yourself". I learned to just not drink today. Frankly if anyone had told me I can never drink again I wouldn't have stayed. But ok, today I won't drink. It was the support of other alcoholics that carried me through the tough times.

You're young and can have a terrific life. Please, never, never give up. While there is breath there is hope.

inpatientcare

Think about your family, your loveones and your future. That seems a good motivation.

zorilla

You're not a failure.One of my big problems was that I never liked myself, and drinking and doing drugs just made me hate myself more.Keep trying and find some positive people to talk to.

soberlicious

No real reason to recover? How do you know that for sure? You have to give it enough time. What if....just what if life could be wonderful? Hundreds upon hundreds of people testify here and other places that life is vastly better without drugs/alcohol. Why would we make this up? You have the power to make your life better. Without the booze, those choices will become more clear. Hell, without the booze just about everything will become more clear. Don't give up on yourself or on what could be.

mikefreak

Very true! And plus you will give yourself a better chance to survive & deal with the peaks & valleys that is life, instead of dying in a ravine.

InsertNameHere

I don't know if this will help or hinder but I used the, its not affecting my life or anyone elses so why should I stop excuse for a long time. I thought, I don't have a wife or kids and not much in the way of family who the hell cares if I polish off 15 beers everynight. 5 years later I am just starting to realize the level of control that alcohol has developed over me. My reason to start quitting was the thought of were is this going to end up? How far am I going to continue charging down this road with a case of beer in the passenger seat? Will it be when I lose my job? Will it be when I stop caring about anything but that beer and the feeling? Will it be when I am 40 and die of a heart attack? Your 23 now you still have a hell of a long time ahead of you, but if you continue drinking as we do how much time do you have until the alcohol truly gets the better of you in a way you can't easily recover from if at all?

Maybe that will help because those were the question that got me started thinking. I have to say I am new to this game as well I only started asking myself those questions this month. I am on day three going on four now, and I can't say that I don't miss it sometimes after all it is an easy out. But I can say that I have read a lot here the last few days and have heard about possible outcomes of continued drinking, none of them good. On the other hand I have read a lot of stories from people talking about how quitting is the best thing they have ever done. I have made my decision of what side of that story I would like to be on in 10 years. Whats yours?

INH

Spawn

"Recovery is living"

During my using and drinking phase I was only surviving.

So I guess the real question is do you want to live or just survive?

As far as your family goes maybe you need to spend some time away from them.

I myself had to cut out 95% of my family because they're toxic opinions and life-style choices do me no good.

Sometimes recovery means making some tough choices....but you need to figure out what's more important to you.

langkah

Drinking limits our prospects for joy and happiness in life. You're not too young or too old to change things for the better, but it appears you cannot put the drink down long enough for your mind to clear.

Why not check for meetings in your town and get enough help from others to make that beginning? I sobered up at 28 and could have avoided a lot of grief had I made the effort at 23. You need not endure more of the drinking life if you get going.

CamilleBelle

No real reason to recover??? Lol im 27... Still hungover, told half my husbands family I have an alcohol prob last night and hes mad about it, have to move cross country in like 4 days and stressing about that... Bet its easier without a headache! There are ENDLESS reasons to recovery... Only one not to... And that little voice is it. good luck to you! I need it to!

murrill

Sean, I was also a bit of a basket case even before I started drinking, and as you seem to have discovered, it only gets worse. I was 30 years old when I finally sobered up, and I was pretty angry that I hit bottom so young. Why couldn't I last into my 50s or 60s???? I would later be grateful that I didn't have to wait so long (not that I could have survived!).
For me it was the 12 steps of AA that finally helped me to make sense of my life. Only the first step mentions alcohol; the remainder are a design for living. I cannot begin to tell you how much that meant to me, for I was really clueless about how to live a fruitful, meaningful life.
I used to try to bargain with myself: I'll quit drinking once I get my life in order. Or sometimes I thought that if I could get it together I wouldn't be so crazy when I drank. Not very rational thinking, huh? But the AA literature reads "...having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps..." Indeed, it was practicing those steps that transformed my life. I joined up with the universal energy and discovered who I was.
I understand your depression, but the fact is that you'll have to quit drinking to find a reason to recover. You 've been thinking about this for a while, it seems, and you've taken a huge step by introducing yourself. There are some people who can do it alone, but I was not one of them. Besides, even if you could, why should you? Find some support...maybe here, or AA or anything else that gives you support. Don't be a stranger.

brokenopen

keep posting on here. i would love to hear more from you. i am 22 years old, been drinking and using heavily since i was 17. i am on day 9 of my sobriety. the struggle is HUGE!

reach out to your local AA fellowship. this can become your safe haven. a place to go to feel accepted & like you are not alone. because you aren't. no one is perfect. and don't strive to be. strive to make progress. keep your self busy. get out of the house. do anything to keep yourself away from the bottle. i know something that really helped me was getting my 24 hour sobriety chip. & at AA they told me, when you're feel like drinking, put your chip in your mouth. when it dissolves, you can have a drink. guess what? it never dissolved. feel free to message me whenever you want if you need support.

switchboard

You have a "real reason" to stop drinking... You want a better and sober life. You want to be one of the happy sober ones. You want that.

And re.: "... because they are all drunks as well and to give up drinking i would be a pu$$y."

..... So be a pu$$y. Don't be afraid of what others think or say. Don't be afraid of being a pu$$y, or of being bored or sad or awake or __fill in the blank__ when you're starting out. And don't be afraid to fail - it's part of the learning process after all ...... OR go ahead be afraid - it's all good - just be sure you know it's OK to be afraid ..... Either way, It's about accepting that it's OK to feel, but it doesn't have to stop you.

Chances are the bunch in your family who drink are not exactly "happy" about their life choices either. Don't let their need for "company" in, or acceptance of, their drinking world keep you from moving your life to a better place.

You're young - this is a great opportunity for you to start toward building a happy life. Show 'em what you got! (And let them be jealous or unsupportive - their feelings can't stop you from being the YOU that you want to be.)

So make a plan .. make some goals .. make a list .. and give it a shot.

I drank 1-1.5 fifths of vodka around the clock ... and never thought sobriety woukd be in my future .. or at least not until I was old and in a home ... But here I am... and it is AMAZING ... and nowhere near boring or scary, like I thought it would be. It's happy and exciting and sexy and I have never been stronger or more confident in my life!

You can do this.

NYCDoglvr

I've been sober over 20 years and yes, Sean, it's worth it. What you get is Hope and self-esteem. I cried daily during the first six months, should have gone to a rehab but crawled in on my hands and knees to AA. I described early sobriety as 24/7 PMS in a full moon, wild mood swings. But even during that period I thought it was worth it ... I never thought it was possible to stay sober. While some people get sober alone, I could only do it with the warm support of AA