Newtosoberlivin

I have been down this road so many times, almost always via AA but spoke up at my meeting today and stated that the reason it has never worked for me before now, is because I had to realize I CANNOT DO THIS ALONE, as much as I want to and as used as I am to doing everything myself, I cannot do this one solo. It doesn't work with just not drinking. Not solving the underlying REASONS for my drinking before is the key to not taking it up again.

So after the rather lengthy solioquy up there, how does one ACQUIRE a sponsor? I made it clear in my first meeting back yesterday that I need one and am actively looking for one as I am eager to start working the steps asap. I got a few phone numbers, do I just call these folks and ask one? Do I wait to someone to volunteer? How does this usually work?

I do plan to add to my "routine" on Monday and attend a step meeting that covers the first three steps in addition to the regular weekday noon meeting that I now go to. Would that be a good time to bring it up again? I am very unclear on how to get one, but I desperately want and need one.

I plan to attend a few regular open meetings this weekend as well as I am trying to fill the time up with meetings rather than the old pattern of "yeah, I can drink until oblivion Fri-Sun since my dd is with her dad!". I need to gear up on the non-drinking resources instead.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated and thanks very much!!!

Sugah

Ask. I suggest listening in meetings, showing up early and staying late and listening some more (some folks are good talkers but aren't necessarily good walkers, and it works the other way, too -- some folks lead good lives using the principles, but trip all over their tongues when they share). And remember, you don't sign any contracts. If someone isn't prepared to take you through the steps, you can always choose someone else.

Peace & Love,
Sugah

CarolD

Before getting an AA sponsor...please read this.....

Alcoholics Anonymous : Pamphlets

Many meetings keep that on the free literature rack...so you can get your own copy.
Before I agree to sponsor....I sit down with the proscpect who has asked me and we go over it together..

Forward we go side by side

Newtosoberlivin

Thank you ladies!!!

GettingStronger2

I agree with the advice you have been given. Go to meetings and listen. Try to meet some people before and after, let them know you are new to recovery. I would add, when you decide to ask someone to sponsor you, make sure that person goes through the steps as written in the Big Book.

Good luck!

sugarbear1

It's time for humbleness. As you so eloquently wrote, share that you can't do this alone. Ask your higher power to put who you need in your path. Ask someone to help guide you through the steps.

Prayers sent your way!

wantthistostop

Newtosoberlivin, thanks for asking this question as ive also been wanting to know!

However, im wondering can we get 'internet sponsors' i.e someone on this site that you can correspond with and use for that support on a one to one basis, as well as still using the pages and member interaction for support? (hope that makes sense)

I ask simply because its not so easy for me to attend actual groups - which is why im using this option. Could someone please let me know - thanks guys.

sugarbear1

AA online chatroom has meetings
Try that for online sponsor

keithj

I'd start by introducing yourself on the 12 Step Alcoholism or 12 Step Addiction forum. There are a number of guys that know how to work the Steps that post regularly there.

LoftyIdeals

Newtosoberlivin...thanks for this important thread. I struggled with that for 28 yrs in and out of AA. Brought it up more than a few times, but didn't have any takers. This time around, after almost giving up on AA for a different program, I just found a sponsor last Sunday night. For me, it happened to be the first guy who offered his number at my first meeting back. However, it was not because of that. The following Tuesday, I went to a speaker meeting, and he happened to be the speaker, much to my surprise. Our stories were similar enough that I thought we'd hit it off. He then was gone for a week on a spiritual retreat, so, last Sunday, when he returned, I handed him my number, and asked if we could talk at his convenience. He called that night, and agreed to be my sponsor. It happened to be his 23rd sober birthday.

But, as others said, I listened first. Not only was his story one I could relate to, but that he had significant sobriety, a positive attitude, and a dedication to AA. All of that was evident by the third time we met. For me, it was also important he be Christian, but not a zealot. Both true.

We have not met 1:1 yet, as he left on vacation this week. But, I look forward to having coffee when he returns and discussing how this thing works.

Carol...thanks for the pamphlet. I didn't know it existed, and it should be of help!

Good luck, and prayers, newtosoberliving!

sugarbear1

Keep attending meetings, listen with an open mind. Pray that your sponsor be put in front of you, when it is deemed necessary. Sometimes we just need sober time and sober thoughts!