Deuce85

Hello all. I am about fou monhs in reovery and i have been isolating myself alot during recovery. I dodge my friends phone calls and dont want to hang out with them. I just do not get excited about anything really. It sucks. I just go to work and then go home and go n my room. I prefer to be alone. Is anyone else like this and could maybe give me sme pointers?

Dee74

I didn't want to see any of my old friends either because they were drinking buddies whose lives revolved around drinking...so I made new sober friends

Have you any hobbies or interests Ttal?

D

Spawn

If you went to a meeting every other day maybe it might help.

jamdls

Hi Ttal, I totally isolated myself during my first year, I don't necessarily recommend it but if you can use the time to improve yourself in some way, work through your issues and/or reasons for your addiction you can come out of this stronger than ever. I rarely left my house that first year except to go to work but I did a lot of soul searching, and researching/studying on alcohol abuse and recovery, I also prayed a lot read the bible; and although I didn't go out much I did have someone that I talked to on the phone most every day often twice a day and this person understood and had been where I was. I learned more about myself and healed more of my old wounds in that year than in the previous 30 years. I think it's most important to be good to yourself and to reach out in some way even if SR is your only outside link read all you can here and post often there is always someone here 24/7 that has been there too.

Boleo

At first it was a good idea for me to isolate myself from my old drinking buddies. However, I had to eventually replace them with sober buddies or else sobriety would have felt like a cross to bare.

If I had carried that cross long enough, I would of had to put it down sooner or later.

Freedom1990

Same here. I had to seek out others in recovery who understood me. AA has been invaluable in my sobriety!

Zebra1275

If you haven't tried AA, now would be a good time.

24hrsAday

first of all congrats on 4 Months of Recovery! i can kind of relate.. when i sobered up this last time i was very sick and was for sure depressed in a major way. Alcohol is of course a Depressant. my Doc put me on some Antidepressants for a while and they worked well. i quit taking them after about 6 months. that may be something to consider.. Also A.A. has helped a Lot too!

Deuce85

I feel worse after i go to aa meetings. Alot of personal issues i have with them.

Soberpotamus

What helps me sometimes is to go to bookstores where there are people. You're not alone but there's no pressure to interact unless you just want to... Plus, there's books and coffee

Also, maybe try getting outside to a park around others and walking/jogging? It also helps you breathe more deeply and sleep better at night

AcceptingChange

i isolated a lot during my recovery. like you said, nothing seemed exciting.
one thing i did a lot of was go to to book stores (like jennie said). i read a lot of books about other people's experiences with stopping drinking.

i'm much better now. i was just with some friends last weekend, and my buddy drank 6 beers during the 6 hours. It didn't bother me at all, and i kept up the talking. A year ago i would have stressed on that, felt cheated that i couldn't have a beer, etc. But now, i have no reaction, just like i have no reaction when someone smokes (which i don't). I feel different now (18 months) than i did in the 1st 4 months. I slept a lot.

It makes sense that all of us get depressed during our first months of sobriety. Alcohol is a stimulant when you first drink it. Think about it; when people go to a bar and start drinking, everybody doesn't just fall asleep. They all get very chatty. If you went to a bar and everybody was drinking codeine/cough medicine, then there would be little conversation. The depressent effect of alcohol comes hours after consumption.
So now, your body is adjusting to you not having this temporary stimulant of alcohol. Your body needs time to adjust. So, one thing that helped me during my first few months was not to get worried that the way you feel after 4 months is a permanent thing. it's not. Your body will adjust to the change, and you'll feel natural energy again. (Though, i do recommend getting some exercise each day, like a walk, and eating pretty good food. That helps a lot).

Your body is adjusting, so there is a lot of uncertainty right now. But i know for me it passed and i regained my interest in day to day life.

Spawn

Try another group.....the idea is to find a group you feel comfortable in.

NYCDoglvr

Sure, this sounds familiar. Getting sober is a huge adjustment and it took me a while to feel comfortable in my skin.

DoubtfulDebs

i felt that way so this time i'm not using AA, have you tried looking on meetup.com for daytime activities at weekends? they're less likely to be drink-related.

Deuce85

The clinic i go to says i have social anxiety and this is brought on because i hurt my dopamine levels while i was using and now nothing excites me. I guess there is some truth to hat. They say he way i get my dopamine levels up is by oing to meetings, but i tried that and i dont like it. I just went by a family members house and i was so nervous and shy and i analyzed my every move.

AcceptingChange

Well, all that makes sense. Except the part that going to meetings will raise your dopamine levels. I fully support going to meetings, but i can't see how that will raise your dopamine levels (just my opinion, i'm not a doctor). Exercise raises dopamine levels a lot. I really have to push myself to work out, but i'm always glad i did afterwards, because i do feel better then.
It's actually a good thing that you're observing the way your mind is handling each of these events. If you can just accept that you are different than other people, and that you get nervous, and try not to judge it, try not to feel bad about it, then over time you'll grow more comfortable with yourself in these situations.

Froglet

Great thread to here someone recovering. I thought I'd share my experiences as well.

When I started to work, I would still be drinking casually, but in the past 2-3 years, the drinking has worsened by a lot. That was a sign for me to cut back, hence me signing up here.

I can relate on the social thing because when you want to change, you are going to have to make sacrifices. Being away from the herd is important. It is what recovery, isolation, and R&R is about. Sometimes it comes at the expense at something you once treasured, but in reality, after the smoke clears, you would begin to realize what you've done before was bad.

I don't know how to meet new friends, that's my issue. I play sports, but that's w/ guys. At work, there is a big age gap, and my other friends are drinkers and party goers.

Reset

I went through a lot of that too. Wanting to isolate, low energy, not getting excited about anything, and some other symptoms. In my case I was diagnosed with clinical depression. Might be worth checking out.

littlefish

If you are shy and feel social anxiety you can always try really big AA speaker meetings. I am not familiar with New Orleans, but I know that many meetings in the states can be very large with people over 100. If you can find a meeting like that, you probably won't be called on to speak as most of the time will be taken up by the introduction and then the speaker.

Some days I am in the mood for meetings like that. I just want to sort of blend in with the herd and be inconspicuous. Other days I am very comfortable sharing in smaller more intimate meetings.