firewalkwithme

Maybe it's just me, but i'm 24 years old...I know i'm an adult and not 16 anymore, but with every aspect (online, past meetings etc), literally everybody I have ran into was generally 35+ years of age... age is just a number and doesn't phase/bug me if we're just talking especially over the computer of if you really absolutely NEED somebody to talk too.... and it is hard to describe this in hopes of not offending the older users here...

but do any of you younger people in recovery ever feel you're the only around doing it? i know in reality it isn't true, but i'm talking in your actual physical world. as far as, friends in real life, no internet/computer. people your age. maybe i'm just ranting a bit, not even sure if this belongs in this thread...but especially with recovery from alcohol, it seems like it is a lot more scarce of younger people and sometimes it just bugs me. i mean this all in a way that revolves OUTSIDE and off the internet...not on this site or such. I'm talking in terms of day to day life not typing away. It is awesome and great to have this site and the internet as a resource, but it just gets pretty damn lonely if you don't mind me being point blank. Finding people my age to talk to is a big battle for sure.

Taking5

Have you tried young people in AA? We have that here in Mobile AL so I'll bet my last dollar it is in Philly.

Edit: not only does it exist but Philly had the first young people group, in 1946:

Southeastern Pennsylvania Intergroup Association-About Us

http://www.noypaa.org/about-young-people-in-aa

firewalkwithme

Yes, that was the first meeting I ever went to. Its nickname was 'Young Mens' and there was nobody besides me under thirty. Forgot to mention I don't do AA.

Draciack

Sure, I'm 23 and it certainly bothered me at first. Not only because I felt out of place and stopped hanging out with my drinking buddies, but I lost that party mentality, started going to sleep earlier, etc. My lifestyle shifted too and often it seemed like I was the only one my age not doing those things.

I had to get some significant time under my belt before I felt more connected to my peer group - more comfortable with myself, my lifestyle, and the things I have to deal with (that most young people aren't even thinking about). But I guess not drinking isn't what recovery is about to me and that's good. I can still go out and have a good time and not even think about alcohol.

But when sobriety was literally the most dominant aspect of my life, it was difficult, and I've seen this issue trip up more than one young person.

But most of the issues were inside of me. Drinking and partying were such huge portions of my life. When I got sober, I didn't even have a clue about my likes, dislikes, and interests. The truth is, I don't know many clean / sober young people with significant time under their belts. But now that I'm sober I can connect more and build healthy relationships with people my age, drinkers or not. It took time though, and lots of work.

Anyway, a bit of a ramble but I hope something in there works for you. Good luck

Arc

Hey Fire,

I see where you're coming from man. I'm 26 -- 27 in a few weeks, but I also have been dealing with addiction since I was about 14. It wasn't only until I was about 18 or 19 that alcohol became my primary problem. It started out for me with weed, opium, ecstasy, cocaine, LSD and pretty much whatever I could get my hands on as a teenager.

I think some people that have addictive natures but don't even know it, are those that don't begin drinking/drugs until maybe college or after they leave home / get a taste of freedom. I knew straight A students in High School that crashed and burned in college once they were around the atmosphere.

I was able to get into bars since I was about 17 or 18 so I had access to all the garbage well before I should have.

That's just how I see it though. Let me ask, at what age would you have first considered yourself an addict? Anyone can answer that by they way, I'm curious, seeing as I have thought about the things in Fire's post at one time or another.

firewalkwithme

I hear you big time Arc...I was in more bars before I was 21 then most people 25-30 will ever see. By time I was 21 I wasn't even interested in going to bars as often.

I knew I wasn't exactly 'normal' with my drinking at around 19-20ish...every so often i'd get them hints within me of 'dude this isn't working out this isn't normal' type things you know? And I tried sobering up before when I was 20, so yeah, I was also having problems long before legal.

Arc

Yup! Me too dude. I didn't care one bit about being able to "legally" go to a bar when I turned 21. Went straight to the casino to play some poker, since it was the only thing I hadn't been able to do until 21, lol.

eaglette

Yes, definitely. I am 23 also. Who chooses sobriety at 23? No one, it seems. We are few and far between, but we exist. I was thinking about that earlier, and I guess I just don't need to go any further with addiction before deciding that I no longer want it as a part of my life. If most people are older than I am before they can come to that conclusion, fine. I am lucky to have found out now that it doesn't work for me.

firewalkwithme

yeah darklight, that is the upside and way to look at it ideally for sure.

mikefreak

Could be worse- I'm 53, & it's difficult to find anybody YOUNGER than me! Yeah age "bugs" me a little!2

ReadyAndAble

Pretty, funny, Mike. I'm 10 years behind ya.

All you youngsters: I'm jealous! Not of your age, but of your decision to quit so early in life. I totally get how hard it must be—when I was in my 20s, everyone I knew drank to excess, and I don't remember one person ever questioning it. That was being a "normal drinker." But wow, the things I missed out on as a result. Going to bed early, rising fresh and ready to roll, being free to drive anyway, do anything, at any hour day or night—you guys may feel like square pegs, but you are going to make the most of these years in a way most of your peers simply won't. And that's not even factoring in the life wisdom that comes with recovery. Better late than never... but receiving those gifts early in life is best of all.

justjo

I just wanted to say to all you young e n s! haha

Its absolutely fantastic that you actually realize at such a young age, that you actually have a drinking problem. I would say that you all are a bunch of very intelligent, honest people. To be that honest with yourself is great.

Oh and yes, the age thing, girls my age dont discuss

JJ

Babez

I know exactly what you mean-I'm 23 and most of my friends from high school are still partying,going to vegas..etc..It does suck from time to time not being able to relate to any of my peers.I can't even talk to my best friend,she has no clue.

pinkgurl87

I get it I'm 23 and I go to this meeting called Celebrate Recovery it's very similar to AA and well everyone in my group is way older then me, heck most of them could be my mom it's kind of hard but i have gotten to know them fairly well and feel comfortable with it, but it's hard not many young people.

pinkgurl87

I definitely know the feeling.

Arc

I guess the most important thing here is, that no matter what our birth certificates say about our age, we realized we had a problem and are dealing with it.

Arc

110% can relate to that. Whether it was kicking the drugs in my teenage years, or the alcohol now in my 20's. Even when I got invites to go places in the latter stages, I'd prefer just staying home with me and my 18 pack.

lizisme

I first started seeking help when I was around 18, I was constantly told I was too young to have a problem (even by some 'health professionals'), that I was just having fun, experimenting etc etc. And I listened to it every time. So of course it just continued down down down down. 26 now and I LOVE that im in my 20s and sober...I finally get it. I appreciate the wisdom and experience from older addicts, I love them for reminding me how lucky I am to be alive and have age on my side...I only have to listen to their stories to realise this. I totally get the frustration though of not being able to also get to spend time with people your own age with the same issues...where are they all!? I guess we are the lucky ones and have been honest with ourselves, admitted that we are powerless to our substance. If we are comfortable speaking up and being honest about our addiction I think we will find there are heaps of young people busting to meet someone just like you, that NEEDED to meet someone just like you, their own age. Anyway...hi!!!!

lizisme

Hey Arc...just noticed your lyrics on your signature. That song played a massive role in keeping me sober. I listen to it most days. Awesome AWESOME album.

Arc

Me too Liz. Me too. Almost everyday. I posted in another thread how ironic it was that I listened to the older Eminem albums when I was getting trashed and high off whatever I could get, as a teenager, and now his newer songs, with him being sober, are a major part of helping me through my recovery.

Incredible album.