Scrubmuncher

Well,,, I've been thrown a lifebelt. This morning I was thinking I was going to be either homeless, in the nut house, in a depressing Hostal or hospital. Looks like my family are giving me a final chance to make this right, be the person they know I can be.
My parents are allowing me to stay with them for the near future, my partner with my daughter are prepared to have me back once they have seen I have conquered the booze (that is truely my last chance to ever live a normal family life and be a full time husband and father figure).
I am desperate to make it this time. I know every time is the last time, but for some who have experienced a real last time, I want to hear from you.
What do you do differently to really crack it. How do you make yourself not want a drink after a tough days work, a hot summers day, in times of stress or my biggest worry, when invited out and everyone else is drinking and on a different wavelength through booze, how do you ignore the urge? What turned you off liking alcohol?

My final chance to save my sanity:day6

Mark75

Hi...

Have you considered AA?

Anna

Hi,

I needed to believe deeply and completely, that alcohol was no longer an option. Then my brain began to discover healthy ways to deal with life's issues.

Scrubmuncher

I tried it but being around other drinkers ended in me drinking more. I may need to try to find another form of actual support, personal support.

keithj

I had a spiritual awakening as the result of AA's 12 Steps. That ended the cycle of disappointment, regret, irresponsibility, and self-hatred I had going on. It also led to peaceful, contented sobriety.

Although a lot of support can be found in the fellowship, the program of AA is not a support group. It's a set of specific and precise actions that bring about a psychic change sufficient to overcome alcoholism. For good and all.

Dee74

Did you look at the recovery links I gave you, scrub? there were a lot of options there....both recovery group based and NHS.

Basically what I did was open myself up to possibility of at least trying anything that was suggested - I nearly died from my drinking....I never wanted anything as bad as I wanted that sobriety.

If you identify with that - don't rule anything out.
D

Hollyanne

Why are you willing to be around other drinkers in a pub but not in AA?

JTele

Being in the profession I'm in (musician), I'm around drinkers frequently, many of whom are friends and many of whom are just patrons or attendees at an event. When I decided to make the decision to become sober, I also had to make the decision as to whether or not I could give up a lifestyle that I created long before becoming a drunk. Since playing music is truly a passion for me, I chose to remain living in my current lifestyle, but in order to do that, I had to confront my situation head-on, and it wasn't easy. Funny thing is, once I stopped drinking, not only did I find comfort and support from my friends, but I also realized that I was the one with the severe drinking problem - not my friends....at least most of them.....LOL. Yeah, they drink, but not as excessively as I did. My point is basically this: if those you are drinking around are really your friends, it may surprise you how many of them will actually respect your actions you when you're not drinking. While I'm certainly not supporting the notion that you should continue hanging around with drinkers - quite the contrary - I am saying that it is entirely possible to quit drinking under nearly any circumstances if, first and foremost, you sincerely WANT to quit drinking while making that your ultimate goal.

EDIT ADD: Dee made a great point when saying this: "I nearly died from my drinking....I never wanted anything as bad as I wanted that sobriety." I reached a point as well where I felt as though my excessive drinking was about to take my life. It was enough for me to want to quit badly, and I never want to go back to that insane hellhole again.

suki44883

Scrub, you have said this is your final last chance. If you are going to be successful, you are going to HAVE to be willing to do whatever it takes. That starts with not drinking no matter what. Don't drink even if your ass falls off. NO DRINKING. PERIOD.

Next, you are going to have to be willing to have an open mind and even do things you would rather not do. You have to do something different if you want different results than what you have always gotten. AA is the most available help around. Attending meetings doesn't keep you sober. Finding a sponsor and working the steps will. Throw yourself into your recovery every bit as much as you threw yourself into drinking. Am I saying that AA is the only way? No, I am not, but you have already poo pooed the idea of AA, which makes me question your determination. If you want something different than you've always gotten, you have to do something you've never done.

And remember...NO.DRINKING.PERIOD.

Hollyanne

Suki!!!!
Don't drink even if your a$$ falls off!!!!!!!!
Oh my God! Spat my coffee out.

JTele

Me too....haha!

But yes.....keep an open mind and do whatever it takes. In the end your family will thank you and will be very proud of you for it!

Scrubmuncher

I hear what you are saying, but sitting around talking about how much we have lost is depressing enough to drive me to drink, I need to keep my mind off it not on it. After my 10 day DTox some years ago I went to a couple of meetings and after each meeting half the guys there were straight down the pub, propping the bar up, all feeling sorry for ourselves and what we had lost. I frightening to put myself in that place, life seems safe under my bed covers, I don't want a drink and I no one can harm me, but I can't stay in here for the rest of my life, I'm on day 9 of lying in bed, hiding, apart from a brief 2 minute walk that was a disaster.
A rock and a hard place. If I stay here, I am out of harms reach, but I'm probably going to give myself a complex even worse if I never do something to enter the real world.
Difficult one!

Mark75

You are going to the wrong meetings then... I go to about 3 a week, and that's definitely NOT what we talk about. We talk about the solution, our experience, strength and HOPE...

Oh, and we laugh alot...

Mark

BTW - AA is not the meetings, it is the steps... maybe look into them?

JTele

As opposed to concentrating on how much you've lost, have you sincerely considered how much you have to gain? Most of us here have had to answer that very same question at one point or another, and it seems to me that you've already stated that you have one last chance. It really boils down to how badly you want it, doesn't it? You seriously need to forget about the "buts" or excuses for why you need to drink while doing something about prohibiting yourself from actually doing it. If it means going to AA, do it, but for God's sake, don't go to a friggin' bar after a meeting. That's just crazy!

suki44883

You can't live your life under the bed covers. JTele is right, it all comes down to how much you WANT it. You have been given another chance. Had it been me, I'm not sure I'd have given you one, but you have one regardless. It's up to you whether or not you throw it away.

Zencat

The person I was in active addiction had run out of options. I ran out of excuses to justify my drinking too. I had no more BS left in me. I had to make drastic changes so that I could be the person that I knew I can be.

A good addiction treatment plan, support and plenty of commitment to live a satisfying life sober was just what I needed.

LOL, Yep that's the bottom line .

Supercrew

For me SM, I had to find my reason. I had the threats from my wife, I was given ultimatums again and again, but I never truly believed that she would have the nerve to walk out and leave me with my son. My health was getting worse, and I knew that basically 3 years of non stop drinking was hurting me bad, my brain and my body, but that wasn't enough. The work it took to stay functioning and drinking the way I was became a huge chore, and it was costing me alot of money and time. Then I started to have serious withdrawals instead of just hangovers.

Any one of these things wasn't going to keep me from what I thought I loved the most, drinking.

Top off that with the fact that I tried very hard the previous 6 months to quit, yet the bottle kept finding a way to my lips. I had been to AA 10 years earlier, and I refused to go back because I truly didn't believe it would help me.

I was sitting right here on my computer the day after a terrible withdrawal, empty beer cans littered my trash can and were stashed under my sink and throughout my closet and my bookcase. Empty vodka bottles were hidden in under my desk and in my drawers, but I was out of everything. My wife gave me the last ultimatum that she was leaving if I didn't get help, and I broke down and cried saying just find me something other than AA and I am there. She looked at me like I was a nut and slammed the door as she left my office.

I got myself together and got online to search for an option, and the first website I pulled up was SR.

As I read post after post of people that sounded just like me, I started evaluating why I drank and what I had to lose if I didn't stop. It was the first time I really weighed all the reprecussions that drinking has had in my life, and all future reprecussions that it would have if I continued.

Once I was able to really look at the problems and future problems that laid ahead I got real smart and real mature real fast. I started writing an outline of a recovery program for myself basically to fill my time, keep me healthy and to keep me happy without alcohol, then I decided that I wasn't going to drink for that day no matter what. Then I repeated that over and over again for 100 days in a row, and not drinking became easy and enjoyable.

I found that maybe one little thing couldn't keep me from drinking, but when I put together my list of everything from the loss of money and time, to the loss of my family to the chance of losing my job and maybe my license and the list went on and on it wasn't hard after I got the first few weeks under my belt. I ultimately convinced myself that I did not want to drink and I loved being sober more than the pain of drinking, and my life is still improving to this day. I still have this written over my computer and it was a little saying that I read the first day I found SR:

"There are no reasons to drink, only excuses."

I'm not saying that my method will work for you, because we are all different and we all learn and react differently to different situations. Basically quitting drinking came down to me finally taking and active role in making it happen, because my brain wasn't willing to stop without me making a real effort to quit. I look at it this way. If my home was burning down I could just sit and watch it burn, or I could get a bucket of water and start trying to put it out, the more people I can get for support,(My wife, my family and SR), the faster I will be able to control the fire, and if it is still out of control I can always wait for the fire dept. (AA). Well I put the fire out with my bucket and the help of my wife and family and SR.

First thing you need to do is take a stand to not drink again and get active in some kind of program.

You can do it, it's hard, but it can be done.

Supercrew

As far as the stressful situations, I realized that drinking would only make them more stressful. As far as the situations where I would be out with other drinkers, I always had a big soda in my hand and an excuse to why I wasn't drinking in the very early period of sobriety, then I just told people I didn't drink anymore. And as crazy as it sounds people respected my decision, and I even have people inquiring how I did it, because they would like to stop as well. If you plan for these stressful events they become easy to deal with.

least

I 'turned the corner' in my recovery when I started practicing gratitude. When I started counting my blessings I realized, maybe for the first time, how blessed I was and how drinking would cause me to lose all I was blessed with.

Now I'm naturally grateful and have no desire to drink. Being grateful gave me a reason to live and a healthier attitude as well.

OklaBH

My meetings aren't depressing. Sure there are one or two that choose to waller in the past BUT for the most part....we laugh our butts off. I find myself looking forward to meetings. I think you will too!