MissKnowitall

I've lurked for a while, mainly on the friends and family section but I think I'd get better insight from people who have been in rehab. My BF is in a long term rehab center. I think it is close to 7 or 8 months there. I am respecting his space to recover but are they going to tell him to leave me? We got together during a sober time in his life then a brief relapse led him to rehab. I also want to be supportive and not abandon him.

For those who have been in, What is rehab like? Do you get lonely and think of those on the outside? Would it help to hear from those people on the outside or does it make things more confusing? Does a person change that much if you knew them not drinking? I understand that the future isn't certain. Mostly I am looking for insight as to how to support him right now. If it is better that I go completely silent for him then I will but if it is going to make him feel depressed not having contact and it would be supportive to hear from me then I'll stay in touch.

Either way I am fine with it. He treated me very well always and I'm not interested right now in dating someone else, I'd rather stay alone actually if he is gone because I think seeing someone else will really confuse me at this point. I am not the type to feel so lonely because I don't have a guy. He is also my best friend. I know he is doing the right thing and I want to clear my head and not worry about him, stay focused on my life, and be supportive if it will help. I thought hearing personal experiences of those in a long term rehab situation would be very helpful. Thank you for reading this.

Scrubmuncher

I have only done a 10 day rehab, but it felt like 10 months. Knowing I had my partner on the outside for me kept me going, when all else was unimportant I still had her. When I didn't have the strength to just do it fir me, she was a bridging reason to get me over that emotion.
He will most likely go through all sorts of emotions, wants you, wants a fresh start, wants you, needs you, repells you, the people closest to me seemed to get the roller coaster of emotions I went through.
I think rejection may have broke me, so I think your best intentions are important, those being to just go with the flow, be whatever he needs to get him through, obviously without making yourself a doormat.

My personal opinion.

pesky

I did a 30 day rehab, im a 26 year old male, when I went in i had a gf of a year, the counselors recommended to people that havent been in a serious relation ship (1 year plus) or marriage, that the dont need to keep on the relationship or just mainly focus on themselves, the point being that when u go into recovery you have to focus on urself and not instant gratification that makes you feel good, alcohol, drugs, women, but if ur are in a healthy serious relationship, from my point of view it does help having the support but i definatley changed alot going thru rehab, i had to focuz on making myself better, and i can only speak from what i went thru but i think it helped havin support, its only if it starts getting unhealthy, like using and manipulating the other person and fighting then it should def be time to move on...only speakin from my experience tho..hope this helped

Cyranoak

Rehab centers, unless you are also an alcoholic addict, rarely tell somebody to leave, or not leave, their significant other. It's not about the SO, it's about the alcoholic/addict. While I understand why you are concerned, please understand that rehab centers have one focus and one focus only, helping the alcoholic addict learn to live a life without drugs and/or alcohol for the rest of their lives.

Their job is theirs, your boyfriend's job is himself, and your job is you. If you really want to learn and know more about your role here, try yourself an Alanon meeting-- at least six, and some different. If not, not.

What I read in your post was not you wanting "better insight," it seemed to me it was you wanting different answers, or answers like you are wanting to hear.

Take care, good luck, take what you want, and leave the rest.

Cyranoak