Cold Turkey VS. Cutting Down
 

Am I just fooling myself by thinking that I can cut down/phase out my drinking? So far cold turkey isn't working for me so I've been trying to slow down my drinking during the week, with mixed success. Is it possible to ever go back to "normal" recreational drinking? I'm only 35 and the thought of NEVER being able to have a drink again ever is hard for me to fathom at this point. Even though I think I know what the answer is.

I can never go back to 'normal' drinking, I'm not a 'normal' drinker, never have been.:( And I really don't want to drink ever again, given how happy I am sober.:) As far as weaning off alcohol, it is possible but very hard for most to do. I tried it many times but only succeeded once. (and of course went back to drinking soon after:() If you try to cut down, make a schedule of how much you'll allow yourself and when. Reduce it every day. It's difficult but is possible if you're disciplined enough, I believe.

I have tapered, with the idea of going from 20 drinks a day to 12 to 8 to 5 to zero, to reduce withdrawals. My problem was I'd get to the day I was supposed to have 5 and I'd be back up at 15 or 20. Tapering never worked for me, nor did the "I'll only drink on weekends" idea.

Why don't you just quit, cold turkey, for 90 days? Don't allow yourself the luxury of "managing" your drinking in terms of tapering vs only 1 or 2 days a week or only X number of drinks a day. At the end of 90 days you can make a decision about yourself and move on from there.

I suppose that like a lot of us I started drinking/partying in grade/high school with my friends. I love the communal aspect of rolling a bone and having a few drinks with good friends and it really pisses me off that I allowed things to get as out of control as they are. Oh well I have no one to blame but myself.

90 days! Holy $hit I can't even get a week yet... I haven't clean for 90 days straight since I was around 12 years old so.

Yes, you are fooling yourself if you truly have a dependency on alcohol. Cold turkey isn't working because of the method you are using, which appears to be cold turkey with no support, plan of action or even a clear picture in your mind of what the problem is. Kind of hard to solve a problem when you can't honestly identify it. What stands in your way of honest assessment is a defense mechanism called minimizing. This is where outside of yourself support is critical. You have an illness that will tell you that you don't have it.

Alcoholics operate in a fog that is present even when the alcohol isn't. Our thinking process is labelled as irrational by all observers, even other drunks. We are lost in a maze of our own thinking. Rarely does the person who created the maze find their own way out.

The good news is: There is a way out of the maze.

Bad news: The pain must get pretty bad before someone will follow another out of the maze.

You get to choose how much pain is enough.

What was always the hardest for me was just getting thru the first week. The anxiety was crippling and that's what so often led me back to drinking. It was a lot simpler when I had medical help during w/d. Just enough to get me past 'the shakes' so badly. I didn't want a benzo addiction on top of drinking but the doctor wisely only gave me enough for three or four days so could not get hooked on them. But it got me past the anxiety that was always my stumbling block.

Once you're thru the initial physical w/d some program of support can be very helpful. Some do AA, some do SMART, some do other programs, some do counseling, some get back into the church - it all depends on what you're willing to do to stay sober.

I started out with AA and counseling and this site, now I use counseling and this site and a few meetings of my AA home group just because I like the meeting (a discussion meeting) and cause I like the people that go there.:)

There are a lot of people here with long term sobriety without using any formal program at all other than SR. Anna is one, so is Dee.

Get yourself a support system, no matter what it may be, and put all your effort into it. You CAN stay sober. How badly do you want it?

:hug:

I had to quit cold turkey I tried tapering myself off but at certain times I forget and was getting worst. I think its wherever your strength is and what you believe you can do. Lush is right support helps, alot.......

I had to quit cold turkey and know that I can't take one sip...ever! It's only been a little over 2 weeks and I feel so much better.

Invigoth,

The problem is, based on your posts, is that you NEVER tried quitting. You have posted how you would try only on weekends, or just moderation, and how you can not envision yourself quitting forever. You are IMHO giving yourself permission to drink after 4 or 5 days of abstinence.

Try quitting. For real this time. At least 30 days if 90 is too daunting. Don't think about how long it will take just wake up in the morning and say "I will not drink today". One day at a time.

Some of this has to do with growing up and taking responsibility for one's self. That may involve a commitment and some responsible action. And guts. And a plan of action. You have the easy part down pretty good.....talking about it.

In recovery, both in person and on forums, there is always that line we must be aware of....a line that distinguishes the difference between helping someone recover, and helping someone stay the way they are.....basically killing themselves. Encouragement is good, but the real motivator and chief propellant into any type of recovery is pain and loss. How much is entirely up to the sufferer, once they become aware of options out of where they are.

tapering alcohol,

the first time i quit drinking i went from a fifth a day down to a pint and then cold turkey, took 3 hard days and then started feeling better, it took 2 weeks to completely quit shaking off and on and to not jump at every sound and things like that,, unfortunately later started drinking again bc of depression and bordom and it took 3 hospital stays. go to AA and get some help, even when i think i don't need it anymore i end up in trouble again. it at least helps me stay grounded enough that i don't end up sick and twisted in the hospital and losing my job u can do it....u don't have to think about never drinking again. all u have to do is decide not to drink right now. then, five minutes later, ponder it again.. don't put all that pressure on yourself, u can drink or not drink, it's up to you.

My opinion is no. By definition an alcoholic is person who has lost control of his / her drinking. I don't think it's possible to lose control, realize there is a problem, then gain control, and wean yourself down. If you think it's tough to quit "cold turkey" I would be it's much harder to quit after two drinks. Just my opinion. You could always try it. Remember, recovery is all about honesty. Just ask yourself "Am I drinking to wean myself off, or am I drinking because I can't imagine life without it"?

I find abstinence sooooooo much easier than trying to "control" my amount.

Good point. For me, it was much easier not to drink on my 31st day than on my 4th day. You're actually doing this hardest possible way. The early days are the toughest. I think you'd find if you can get 30 days between your drinks and get active in active recovery, your desire to drink will be far less....