dratsab

Even though I think of myself as an open minded, tolerant, and well thought out person, I'm realizing that I'm a little more stubborn and intolerant of others than I'd like to be. I think one of the major contributing factors to this are some irrational thoughts that I have when it comes to certain situations.

The reason I am thinking about this is because of a discussion I had yesterday with one of my support groups (and a few I've had in the forums here at Sober Recovery). I was telling my group about how open I was to receiving help from others when I first went into recovery and about how I knew I couldn't do it alone. I also told them how some of this has gone away because I tend to resist or "backtrack" when I talk to certain people about 12-step programs and I feel like they are being dogmatic about recovery.After the meeting, I realized that those people weren't turning me away from 12-step programs. Their attitudes weren't turning me away either. The responsibility for all of that was on me. I allo I started to think about the ABC's from the SMART Recovery readings (I HIGHLY recommend reading this short essay on irrational beliefs).

Thinking about it opened up a lot of other emotions concerning my attitude and how they affect my recovery. I wouldn't say that they've caused me to want to use (even though I still have cravings on a daily basis). But I really think that having these irrational beliefs has been holding me back in making progress in some aspects of my recovery.

And for some reason, just realizing that I've been holding onto these irrational beliefs has helped me out a great deal. I feel like this weight I've been carrying on my back has been lifted. I've been holding onto a lot (I don't think I realized how much until now) of negative feelings towards 12-step groups and towards religion during my recovery. I just feel like I can let go of that now. And it feels pretty good.

newby1961

I so relate to you. I went to a 12 step program for a number of years and a lot od drama and mistrust happened so I stopped going. I then went into another 12 step program and I have been attending meetings for a few years but I notice that i am not really involved, i don't trust anyone and some days its all I can do to talk myself into going. I know a lot of it is me and my thinking. I have lots of irrational thoughts. The good news is at least I am honest with myself about them. Thanks for your post. Keep the Faith

Boleo

I don't know if you are aware of it or not, but you have just stated to do some 4th step work and perhaps a little of step 5 as well.

dratsab

Step 4 is one of those things I think everyone (even people who aren't addicts) should do! Actually, I think all of the kinds of things we do in recovery would be good for the average person to do.

magicmalu

I recommend you to read "Excuses Begone!: How to Change Lifelong, Self-Defeating Thinking Habits " by Wayne Dyer

Zencat

Keep up the good effort dratsab.

I had to let go of some really nasty anger and resentment towards religion and its relationship I perceived to AA. It has been a progress not perfection process so far. I do feel I have a good bit of headway tho.

Reubena

Thanks for posting this link, I'm glad I got to read it

joedris

That's a big jump you've made. It's hard sometimes to sort out your reactions to things people say. Are they dogmatic? (some are, unfortunately). Is it me? Maybe a little of both?

One solution I came up with for that problem was to try and close my eyes and listen to the words, not the speaker. I was surprised how much weight I was placing on who was speaking rather than what was being said. I was missing a lot of stuff I needed to hear by tuning out what certain people said. You use the term "irrational thoughts" to explain your behavior. I was a little more graphic, "getting my head out........." to explain mine. But the end result is the same. We both learned to listen. By listening we learn openness and willingness, both crucial to recovery.